Cadence

Just having some fun with sounds.

The pendulum swung under a clock

 

Tick, tick, tock, tock

 

She lit a candle to lighten the room

 

click, click, shhfoom, shhfoom

 

Small corners illuminated as she wept

 

drip, drip, clept, clept

 

Morning found her where she had been

 

humf, humf, zinn, zinn
 

Reviews

[Otto L.n. Pipgras]

after reading this one a few times each line became the rise and fall of the chest in sleeping breath somewhere in an audible dream. the last line left an impression of a stubbornness to let go of someone or something which ultimately must happen. This lent to the idea that this was perhaps a bad dream. Of course this is all my take on it...I'm probably totally off base.

the title was perfect, as was the cadence of the words. the sounds were excellent...I can tell you had some fun writing this one...I'd like to hear it read and hear you make the sounds... good stuff, Jenny!

[E. M. Murren]

That was fun!!! I really liked that. It is like a child's rhyme... just great.

[Ladysue]

Interesting, Jenny. It was fun and differant. Very clever actually!!!! I lov how you did this!!!! Great sounding poem!!

[Courtney]

great use of onomatopoeias! looks like it was fun to write also :) very original!

[JC Fox]

It was a fun little poem and it's always cool to experiment good job

[Blackbirdsong]

I'm with the bear, I've got hot wheels too! Well had them anyway. This poem has such a wonderful playfulness to it. Your wordplay is genius since the sounds you create (as you can see from your other reviewers) really work as the sounds you want us to hear and even feel. I like the early morning sounds of a house when only one person is awake and moving around. There's something almost magical to those moments of quiet - well almost quiet - grace.

[Gandré]

oh Jenny, you are so amazingly creative!! How is it possible, I didn't see...So wonderful, darling. I love your art and your talent! those small words...emphatic exclamation ...that was great. I was thinking hard for the name in English (how one calls those words) and asked Ken...he told me that this is called onomatopoeia, what is also correct, but I looked for this expression interjection- yes that is how one calls them, in the sense of grammar..yes? wow Jenny such a great poem. I love your versatility.

[Antony]

Jenny this is so funny with the sounds that tell a story rather then the words, very clever, she sounds pissed at the end. Great title.
Tony

[Victoria Lee~]

This was quite lovely. Brilliant use of sound through the written word : )

[Cdnsurfer]

Yes, I see that. Actually, a very fun piece, to focus on fun sounds. Ha ha! Thanks for the laugh and the pleasurable read, Jenny! Rob