Asunder

 

 

When our souls collided
how they created such a glow
of bursts and breaks;
lightning.

Stars exploding in the sky.

Winds like songs of yesterday
blow north, moving on,
quietly remembering;
Rain.

Pouring over hidden hearts.

Reviews

[Le' Pugh']

It's what we up North call the "Aurora Bear-ealis" or the Northern Lights.
I was transplanted there after an unfortunate incident with some campers and a picnic basket, but I don't wanna go there right now (that's one Boo-Boo I'd like to forget).

Two hearts of such a kindred spirit that nature itself seems to get involved in the festivities. "Winds like songs of yesterday blow north, moving on... quietly remembering; Rain."

Then to see that kind of love gone.

You're somethin' else, you know? Quite the poet.

Simply, Le'

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Now this packs quite a punch in such a short time... gotta catch my breath.

[Cdnsurfer]

Wow, Jenny this is a wonderful, loving piece. I find when you structure your poems in these tight writes, the resonance of your words are stronger. Every word carries their own weight. In the first stanza the verbs "bursts" and "breaks" lends itself nicely to the image of lightning. Followed the by the roaring thunder of stars exploding. Then like the downpour the song of the rain falls, like a memory, and then the image of liquid love. Beautiful flow and resonance. Cheers! Rob

[J. Elsie]

You actually wrote this for me. I know you didn't know that when you wrote it.. but you wrote it to help ME remember something and someone. (You wrote it for many in need of the same awakening)
A moment that I had forgotten.
And now its fresh.

On this Sunday, when I'll most likely not even step outside, being lazy, writing and reading, and attempting non-connection, I am sucked back into life and reality by these few words. I am reminded why I Love someone and what happened between us so long ago.

I just really really needed that. Thank you for writing.
Thank you for sharing with me.
Thank you.
jenn

[All faded blue]

Beautiful, and the picture made it perfect in every way.

All faded blue

[Blackbirdsong]

Jenny, okay I know this written about me, but girl can I relate. LOL

This is beyond gorgeous or exquisite or anything other superlatives that I can come up. Nature, and love and beauty all rolled into such a glorious read.

*sigh*

[H. A. M.]

That was quietly impressive. Not a lot of jargon to say what needed to be said. I like the lighting as the first encounter.
"Winds like songs of yesterday
blow north, moving on,
quietly remembering;
Rain." The end of the relationship? This put me in a peaceful mood. I like this because it felt like a memory for me.
Nice one.

[Pema Dorje]

nice jenny,

thus these words are writ not for ourselves 'nor wit,
but to venerate the beloved one
who shines like light from a heavenly Sun
or by the Moon beam comes at night
to kiss our eye without remiss,
oh what a bliss is this ...

[Heart Of A Wolf]

Absolutely beautiful poem. I loved the way you described the meeting of you two in here.

[Stacy A. Foster]

Thanks, I needed to read something like this tonight.

When our souls collided
how they created such a glow
of bursts and breaks;
lightning.

A comparison of love and nature, and they do intertwine quite often don't they?

Pouring over hidden hearts... a great way to end this. Your presentation was very nice and the pic was perfect to accompany it. This is simple, yet says a lot in a few lines.

Cheers,
Stacy

[Lydia Shutter]

Mysteriously sensual and romantic.

"Winds like songs of yesterday" A bit melancholy perhaps, but so very beautiful. The graphic you chose to accompany your words is beautiful. Great presentation. Lydia