Clouded

He's quite obscure today
and I welcome his absence.
I like it cold and bleak
sometimes.
I can embrace it and reflect
within myself rather than
outside where the leaves
fall.
And the birds sit and call
my name
which makes me anxious
as I don't know why,
but time speaks on as
they do.

The smear of gray
is a reminder of days gone by.
Which turns my heart blue
sometimes.
But also lends a breeze
to wisp through my little soul
and circle the skies with
hope.
A condition to at once cope
without benefit
of generous natural light
that forces me to fly forward,
and conjure a smile on
my own.

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

We need our 'personal space' for moments of solitude, quality thinking and deliberation. Edward T. Hall (born May 16, 1914 a respected anthropologist) in 1966 published the theory of proxemics; that is the region surrounding each person, or that area which a person considers his domain or territory. Frequently, if entered by another, without this being desired, it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Your wonderful poem of contemplation, self assessment and the need to work things out for ourselves, touches on times like these; reflections we can all relate too!

Well written!

God's Blessing
Phillozofee

[E. M. Murren]

Your graceful pen shines in this work. Bringing peace to an otherwise dreary day through your own interpretation. Inspiring work.

[Solst Rapture]

This was so delicate. It has a serious and majestic undertone but, well, I let you speak:

'But also lends a breeze
to wisp through my little soul
and circle the skies with
hope.'

You have already written what I would use to tell you how it made me feel. It was all wispy and made me feel like a child, but in a comfortable way. It was a delight, a wispy delight, now that sounds good, doesn't it?

[Imperfection]

Very inspiring piece.
The message is well put.
There's something in this for all of us to learn from.

Thanks for sharing.

[Dead Angel]

i love this! i love how you saying that even though times a tough it never hurts to smile. this was an insightful piece and i'm glad you shared it. :)

[All faded blue]

Very nice!!

[Taja B.]

I really like the overall message expressed in this poem. In my interpretation, it expresses that despite of feeling down from time to time, you still accept it and have a positive outlook on life. Plus, I also thought it was beautifully written, with great imagery, and the mood of this piece is captured very nicely.

Nice job. Thanks for sharing.:)

[Brette Medb]

I liked this and how you like to accept when you aren't feeling your best, I think we all need to do that every now and then... You can only accept yourself and make yourself happy no one else can do that for you. A smile can brighten even the bleakest of days. Great write.


Brette

[Blackbirdsong]

I love the message of this and believe the same as you do. What a wonderful way to describe the journey through adversity to strength it takes to make oneself smile anyway. One of your best I think.

[Sara Henry Heistand]

I like the way that some of the lines drop off to form a sort of lyrical sigh. Very well orchestrated. :} This was a very cute, hopeful poem. It's cloudy over my ways today, and I totally feel ya. Sometimes we gotta have that day off sunshiny-goodness.

You have very flowing images here, as well. "A smear of grey" - that one called to me particularly. "But also lends a breeze / to wisp through my little soul" - I've always loved the word 'wisp'; it's highly visual to me. ...I think I have a thing about hair. I dunno.

Since there seems to be no real assonance/cosonance going on here, I thought that in "The smear of gray / is a reminder of days gone by. / Which turns my heart blue / sometimes." felt a little sing-songy around the "by"/"-times" region. That's only blip on the flow though.

"I can embrace it and reflect / within myself rather than / outside where the leaves / fall. / And the birds / sit and call / my name" - I think this is definitely a few of my favorite lines here. :)

Very soothing read. Thank you. (And I'm sorry that it took me so long to review! I'm getting stacked!)

[Nathan Strange]

This is god damn beautiful. I felt this poem. It had a natural flow of the words, you didn't write it, it wrote all by itself.
Great expression here.