Daydreaming

This poem is still being edited. ..

I saw a puddle remained

When the storm cleared
The sun soon came again

and its light gleamed down,

across water like sparkling diamonds

Yes, on this lingering puddle

Peculiar to me, why I’d sit and stare,

from my window out to a pond

surrounded by waving trees

As the crisp wind blew,

ripples on water ensue

A leaf like gold, down, down she fell

and skated ‘round, across the residual lagoon

I saw a bird with spectator eyes

Perched on a branch 

One step sideways, then two, then three

Fluttering wings into the sky he flies

Why don’t I spend more time

intertwined with nature?

No, behind my window I stay

I am grown

Yet cannot deny, I long to

stomp my feet in the puddle

I watched alone today

Reviews

[Meliss@k]

Beautiful! When I read about the bird "then two then three" is when I became part of the poem. I felt myself fly away. I felt myself looking through the window and wanting to splash in the puddle as well. Wonderful poem. In a HUGE imagery fan, and you gave me imagery.

[JenniferMarie]

Awwe thank you Melissa. I really appreciate it. I love imagery too. I like taking a journey through peoples writing. Yes, a little bird seems to appear in some of my poems :) I will read some of your writing too.

[Meliss@k]

oh, thank you! :)

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you all for your comments. It really is helpful. I look forward to reading your work as well. Keep writing! :)

Jennifer

[pinpen]

Such a wonderful write, so beuatiful

[*]

With the exception of some punctuation and tense issues, this is a beautiful poem. I enjoyed the mood and description and loved the ending. I thought you did a great job. A little mending here and there yes, but this is an enjoyable piece I think others will enjoy as well.