Humbled

At night on my balcony, in plain site, 
a full moon 
and to the right of this floating pearl, 
the city skyline 
It is cold, but bearable 
and the mason jar string of lights 
are toppled along the railing 
there dim light pressing against my right cheek 
I come here often to think about life 
the way things are, the way things were 
the way things ought to be 
but tonight,
how insignificant troubles are 
when you find yourself sitting
under an auditorium of stars.  

Reviews

[Thaddius]

Good images, 'mason jar string of lights are toppled' and 'auditorium of stars' are great. change 'insignificant troubles are' - it's a cliche and there is no image. It reads as a run of the mill pep talk, and reeks of the conscious mind. Show how the stars zap you into the present and the oneness, and the troubles will seem insignificant for us, because we'll identify. Good work

[JenniferMarie]

Great point. I felt that as well. It was a quick write. Then I let cool and move things around. I plan to re-work and hope to post edited version soon.

Happy writing,
Jennifer

[Daydreamer]

"Auditorium of stars"! How creative!
I really apologize to you for not being able to
give detailed reviews, words fail me....
I adore the theme depicted here and this state of mind
such lovely writing!

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Manal. No worries. I'm the same way when reviewing. I really appreciate your review. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

[A. Amos]

how insignificant troubles are 
when you find yourself sitting
under an auditorium of stars.  

Just amazing piece and above last verses were the essence of your elegant poetry, good job my friend

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you A.Amos for your kind words. I sincerely appreciate it.

Happy writing,
Jen

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome Jen

[Matt DeFranco]

Nicely penned and great imagery!

[JenniferMarie]

thank you Matt. :) I appreciate your comment.

[Brittany Zedalis]

Let's try this again, haha. I love this. I love sitting under the stars and thinking about life. Looking up at them really puts life into perspective.

[JenniferMarie]

lol I know. Thank you Brittany for the re-post. I won't erase it this time. No, but I do appreciate your comment. I agree, it does put life in perspective.

[V]

I like the scenery you created and mostly the closing line.

[JenniferMarie]

Thanks so much mimi. I appreciate your comment. It's encouraging.