In June

In June

 

We detoured down a dirt road, 

you told me of growing up there 
racing barefoot across gravel roads, 
sea bass in moonlight, 
when you fish in silence at night alone. 

I’ll come find you in the big city
all the while I listened, 
watched you steer - laid back, 
a cigarette clung to your bottom lip, 
your window half way up, 
enough to allow 

the innocence of wind across our faces, 
but not enough

to sweep me some place magnificent. 

Still, I rode with you

 passing tall oak trees, 
stretches of fields, 

grass like ballerinas in cambre 
then, small houses, 
people on porches. 
The stalled life of country summers.

Your hand, 
on my bare knee 
pulled me close, 
you, everywhere, 
a seemingly infinite road. 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the clash of "the stalled life of country summers"

and then "you, everywhere, a seemingly infinite road"

it is like the speaker is debating...will i find my dreams with this guy...he seems like such a country road himself...a country bumpkin so to speak...and yet....something about him really holds my attention..

maybe just regular, normal...nothing special...is actually very special..

there is something about being with a person who really knows who he or she is...doesn't need the showiness..just the real life.

something alluring about that.

you have some really unique description here...

quite a good piece of poetry

i enjoyed the ride so much..and his conversation with her, and hers with herself.

jacob

[JenniferMarie]

Thanks so much. It's nice how you've understood what I meant and got the emotions I worked towards conveying. It is what is important, the life. There is something alluring and she sees that in him, but at the same time they are from different places and so there is an element of uncertainty, but still through people we learn a little more about ourselves. I think she's learned from him.

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

your hand,
on my bare knee
pulled me close,
you, everywhere,
a seemingly infinite road.

..........wow....wonderful ending. I love it. My best wishes always.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you. Means a lot. I want to grow as a writer and part of that is critiques from other writers good or bad they help guide so thank you :)