In June

In June

 

We detoured down a dirt road, 

you told me of growing up there 
racing barefoot across gravel roads, 
sea bass in moonlight, 
when you fish in silence at night alone. 

I’ll come find you in the big city
all the while I listened, 
watched you steer - laid back, 
a cigarette clung to your bottom lip, 
your window half way up, 
enough to allow 

the innocence of wind across our faces, 
but not enough

to sweep me some place magnificent. 

Still, I rode with you

 passing tall oak trees, 
stretches of fields, 

grass like ballerinas in cambre 
then, small houses, 
people on porches. 
The stalled life of country summers.

Your hand, 
on my bare knee 
pulled me close, 
you, everywhere, 
a seemingly infinite road. 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the clash of "the stalled life of country summers"

and then "you, everywhere, a seemingly infinite road"

it is like the speaker is debating...will i find my dreams with this guy...he seems like such a country road himself...a country bumpkin so to speak...and yet....something about him really holds my attention..

maybe just regular, normal...nothing special...is actually very special..

there is something about being with a person who really knows who he or she is...doesn't need the showiness..just the real life.

something alluring about that.

you have some really unique description here...

quite a good piece of poetry

i enjoyed the ride so much..and his conversation with her, and hers with herself.

jacob

[JenniferMarie]

Thanks so much. It's nice how you've understood what I meant and got the emotions I worked towards conveying. It is what is important, the life. There is something alluring and she sees that in him, but at the same time they are from different places and so there is an element of uncertainty, but still through people we learn a little more about ourselves. I think she's learned from him.

[Daydreamer]

This is such a wonderful writing,honestly! I love the style and many phrases and also the word choice :)

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Manal. :) Means a lot to hear someone has liked one of my poems. I look forward to reading your work as well.

Best,
Jennifer

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow what marvelously weaved tale wrapped in optic form… not sure if it is true or fiction but it makes a wonderful point, when to people love one another any road they take together is sweet.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Rock and Roll cowboy for your nice comment. Means a lot.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are very welcome.

[Lydia Shutter]

there is a wistful romance to this write...and it captured me. enchanting imagery...you paint a vivid picture. i liked this very much. lydi**

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Lydi. I appreciate your comment.

Happy writing,
Jennifer

[ANM]

The openness of back country roads shared with someone that might become special captured nicely by you in this poem very well written!

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you ANM I appreciate your comment. Means a lot.

[ANM]

You are most welcome great words deserve to be read!

[Wuji]

The more I read this, the more it grew on me, and had a certain overall impression and after-glow that was very memorable. Like one of our favorite summers that we simply cannot forget!

[JenniferMarie]

Thanks so much Starchance. That's exactly what it's about. A summer in the country, meeting someone and knowing you have to leave. Thank you for reviewing.

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful place you took me in the poem. I like those rides with good company and seeing the world around us. I like the flow of thoughts leading to the strong ending. Thank you for the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[JenniferMarie]

Thanks so much Coyote. I appreciate you taking time to review. I look forward to reading more of your work as well.

Happy writing,
Jennifer

[sharonlee]

Poignantly haunting, layered with grace and memories. Beautiful.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you so much Sharon for your lovely review. I look forward to reading your work as well.

Happy writing,
Jennifer

[Chris]

Came back, still a good image.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Chris :) I've edited it some.

[Chris]

I thought I remembered a difference... but it WAS a fair bit ago.

[Angi]

Jennifer, this poem just popped on my feed and I am so happy it did. The descriptives in this are so revealing. I can picture the drive, the cigarette dangling and bouncing as he talks. I feel your unsuredness and I see his hand on your knee. I see you taking all of this in. I really like this piece. Well done. Angi~

[JenniferMarie]

Thanks so much Angi. I really appreciate your comment and am glad you were able to see what I was trying to convey. :) have a great day and happy writing.

[Michael G. Smith]

I love the way you takes outside and then back into the truck ride as you fills us full of wonderful metaphors. The last stanza has to be one of the best I've read in a while. It's genius, it summed up everything I needed to feel here. going in my faves.

[JenniferMarie]

What a wonderful compliment. Thank you. I love to write and your words encouraged me to write more. Thank you.

[Michael G. Smith]

It seems we are encourage each other. I like a person who is not afraid to critique.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you. Well how do we learn if we never know what captures others and even what didn't. I don't mind when people say I didn't like this, but I did like this .... It's helpful. makes me think.

Happy writing,
Jen