Letting Go

We listened to wind swim through raspberry fields,

as we lay on straw and hard earth,

laughing under a white sun.

 

Now, accepting as the shadow walks across the field

that I lie alone,

memories dispersing like a nearby dandelion

 

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh so sad...i really like the "wind swim" phrase...

a different way to describe what the wind does..

i like the clash of the two stanzas...Us together..Us apart...and the acceptance that once was is no more than a memory that disperses like a dandelion...which is also such good phrasing..

mostly we think of dandelions as annoyances in our yards...but some think they are pretty...

and valuable..memories can be that, even if they hurt.

i've had many shadows cross my field, while i lay alone.

but they are somehow comforting even if a bit painful...i know i have once swum through those fields you speak of...

jacob

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Jacob. That is exactly what I meant.

I like visiting places of loss. I am not there in my life right now, but I visit those emotions still because they are with me. Not always, but they are memories and worth some thought I think :)

Thank you again,
Jennifer

[Abhra]

Your writing is ample proof that poetry need not be long to ache.
I have always enjoyed poets who write beautifully, as you do, there words are light and simple. You read through the poem as if you are reading a letter and in the end you realize that the poems finds a home in you. Beautiful!

[JenniferMarie]

I relate exactly with how you feel about poetry. Thank you for the beautiful review.

"I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering."

Robert Frost

That is what I love about poetry. It is discovery and I like writing because it allows us to slow down, to embrace the world to see it and hold it with such value as it should be.

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/robertfros162647.html#01isY9ilkZLWVvk2.99

[lee von cleef]

Like ? the ? dandelion . Good I like the shadow and it's walk.

[JenniferMarie]

Thank you Lee.

[Criss ;)]

what a nice piece that i've read here at 01:40 .A.M...lol, good write indeed...you know what you expressed well, here you've described about us and it's civilisation on this earth under a white sun "(i think sun's yellow", i think yu talked about MOON here)
you know what i loved your this line

I lie alone, memories dispersing like nearby dandelion.....very touchable line, i liked this + i lloved this a lot...here you've mentioned that we're alone or we lie alone, and our memories dispres's alike dandelion...what a great thoughts....:)
loved it just.

well penned :)
have this 94.8/100
have a nice writin'
take care ;)

[JenniferMarie]

Why thank you very much for your review. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on what I've written.

Happy writing :)

Jen