Chapter 9

It’s 4:15am.  I am done with sifting through memories. The fact that I can’t think of one good thing tells me I am doing the right thing. I am giddy with excitement.  I am no longer sad about the past, but excited that I am actually going to do it this time.  I plan to get up at six and pack the car.  As soon as the girls wake up, I will leave and go to my parents’ house.  I don’t know what will happen after that .  I don’t care.  I’m going home.  I’m starting again.  I’m getting free.  I feel light and full of possibility.   I am so excited that I don’t want to sleep, but I haven’t had more than an hour of sleep in the past 48 hours.  My eyes are heavy and burn with sleep.  I am just on the edge of deep sleep and I know I am dreaming.       

 I am twirling in my yellow dress. I can hear the lawnmower in the background and I can feel the sun coming in through the front door.  Today must have been my Daddy’s turn to pick the music.  I hear The Beatles singing, ‘little darling, it’s been a long cold and lonely winter…’ I hear a voice.  I know it’s my voice, but I sound younger, “I love this song….and the song from Annie about a sunny day.  I just love sunshine, I guess.”  I give a little giggle that hangs in the air.  I become mesmerized by the little girl spinning like a record and I realize she is changing.  I try to focus, but my eyes won’t cooperate.  All I see is swirls of yellow and brown and blonde. And then I understand.  The little girl isn’t me anymore, but my little Lucy Goosie when she was still small.  She plops on the floor and becomes engulfed by her dress. She looks up at me, her face glowing with happiness.  There is no sign of stress or sadness on her face, only love.  I hadn’t realized how sad her face had become in the past few years until I see it like this, wiped clean from pain.   She beams a huge smile at me and says, “I yuv you mommy.”  I can hear myself saying it back.  “Mommy?” she asks playfully. “Yes?” I hear myself respond.  “Base!” she yells gleefully before breaking into fits of giggles. I can feel myself smile. I can feel the warmth.  Somewhere behind me, I hear, “Exactly.” I don’t know who said it.  It’s the last thing I remember.  And the king drifts off to sleep.

Reviews

[Callista-Jade]

This was absolutely wonderful. I read through all nine chapters. I can only say that your writing is amazing. I was disappointed when it ended, but all in all, it was a fantastic story! =)