The Constellation of Your Hands

You told me I could text you if I ever felt lonely

Call you in the middle of sun-less hours if I was breaking and needed someone to take away just part of my pain

And stay for just a few moments

In your typography, I could tie down my demons

And disspel my darkness

For just a few moments...

I think you've made a mistake

You see, you'll give me a minute and I'll take your whole night

I can't just have a nibble; I'm gonna take a bite

Of your heart, of your time, of your sanity, of your mind

Because I don't nearly have enough to consider myself living

I'm an outline of someone that used to be, stealing pieces of humans in hopes I might become something

Through small electronics, I'll take control of your eyes, and tear into them with an onslaught of self-loathing and hopes of my demise

And you're so horribly kind, you want to settle my mind

But darling I am the chaos that consumed me

I'm a star about to explode billions of miles away, you can't even hope to touch me

So don't ask if I'm feeling better than wanting to ignite

I wanna lie with "alright"

I wanna ruin your night

I wanna grab your attention and paint my lips with it

Chew you up in my darkness and spit your autonomy out from it

Til you're just a pair of hands telling me I'm not the demon I know that I am

I wanna drag you into my cerebral cell

I am gonna be your midnight hell 

You're gonna orbit around my entire world and then I'll throw you out into the empty space of my cellular cosmos

And I'll hope that you dream about me

Maybe that'll make it hurt more

And in the morning you'll wake up to me

Pounding away from the inside of your skull

All because you said I could text you

And I'll always come back because you always will 

Come back to the darkness and the vibrations of my voice

Still horribly kind and unable to grasp the terrifying beauty of distant nebulas

I'm the brightest star up there, ripping apart the constellations 

So look up, my love, and take me all in

I'll even lend you my telescope

Because if I'm going to explode, you better be watching