Black Heart

Ah you, monstrous beauty-

That has stepped over my threshold. 

And destroyed my once safe world. 

Destroyed my soul.

You blackened my heart and hardened it-

Turning it into stone. 

It once bloomed a blush;

like the rose you gave me once. 

Now its dried and withered-

In a blue crystal vase;

sitting on a shelf in my kitchen. 

Ah you, hateful lover...

You are a born actor;

that would excel and be the star of the stage.

You revise your lines and perform beautifully.

And I cheered you on. 

Now you lose your handsome mask;

and reveal your Mr. Hyde. 

Your once pure heart-

Blackened like tar. 

Ah me, a heartless soul-

For I have given you my heart. 

You tore it apart.

Left it on the floor;

to weep liquid rubies. 

And my soul shattered;

like a mirror. 

They say breaking a mirror is bad luck. 

Oh then I have been struck with that.

Ah me, a sad one. 

Call me a child; 

who's seen fifteen years. 

Call me naive;

for believing such lies that were truth. 

Call me fickle;

Call me stupid;

Moving on sounds so funny.

Forgetting sounds so dreadful. 

Why must I forget?

A once beautiful happiness...

A once genuine love...

Instead of child's play. 

So why must I forget?

As beautiful a love and happiness;

you Blackened your Heart darker than the night. 

Darker than Black. 

Your soul stained ink. 

And made mine bleed. 

I shan't forget. 

For it is not my wish. 

As they say;

the heart wants what the heart wants.

I shall never forget;

A blackened Love. 

A stained happiness. 

An imperfect perfection.

Oh how I despise thee-

Like you despise me. 

But I thank God for giving me this one happiness.

And as punishment for my sins;

you become one Blackened Heart. 

I will forever love you-

I shan't forget;

the moments we had:

the future we'd planned. 

I throw my years to the ground-

Like the unfaithful Juliet. 

And pursue what I yearned for. 

Something genuine.

Someone genuine. 

No fakes. 

Yet the whole thing, a fated sham. 

A silly tale. 

Puppy love, as they call it. 

I say nay. 

It was never child's play. 

I bid you farewell-

For I wish we would meet again-

Love again-

For Love is about second chances...

I stay faithful-

Though you Blackened Heart-

It is your biggest pretend. 

Your star role on the stage.

Draw the curtains...

Reviews

[tekphobik]

Your feelings of being betrayed are underscored beautifully by a wonderful score of metaphors. The concept of a love lost being nothing more than an actor waiting to leave the stage makes me feel warm and cozy on the inside, but I'm a little messed in the head like that.

[Kaitlin Siobhan]

I love this! Beautiful description, and imagery. I love reading poetry when I can see what's happening. You did a wonderful job with this!

[An owl on the moon]

This just rains down on us, each line a lingering drop of pain and reflection. You really do fill this work with brilliant emotion...

[Angel Bird]

Draw the curtains... for this part is played and was wonderfully performed ...
Great write that illustrates incredibly well a hurt heart and soul. Strong words, big impact!

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

You have a new fan of your writing.

[BriAnna Wyble]

this is absolutely stunning! i loved how descripted and long this was; it created a beautiful picture in my head as i read it... well done!

[Samantha]

this is long... But it really shows a very good picture. I think that i would say, stop choosing your words, most people are not able to express themselves because they are afraid on embarrassing themselves, when we write, we can think, we choose words that would hide the real feeling that we feel.
I would suggest on writing your poem/story by saying out loud (that is what i always do. My mom always ask me if i'm alright.) if you feel right, then I think that would be right. (Except on checking on vocab and grammar, we have to do that)
This is very good, better than mine even maybe you should stick to your style.