Stress

When you're stressed, it's like you're drowning. Drowning in a sea of worries and problems.

My eyes blurred. The computer screen before me melted into a sea of endless color. My head was dully throbbing as my stomach coiled into a sickening knot. My wiped away the water pooling in the corners of my eyes, pushing my simple glasses up my forehead and nesting them in my unruly hair. My stomach churned, doing back flips as I tried to make sense of the Wikipedia article in front of me. The letter and words swam before my eyes, taunting, playing. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to tune out the pain that was slowly forming waves in the back of my mind. My fingers ached from their clenched position above my keyboard and I scratched my scalp nervously. I could feel the welts becoming angrier as my fingernails scraped my skin mercilessly. I cracked my pinkie knuckle out of habit, wincing when I could practically hear my mother telling me to stop. I sat up and rubbed my neck, hoping to ease the tension that had begun to form. When had my life become so stressful? When had the workload become so unbearably large that I nearly had nervous breakdowns just getting started? I sighed, leaning back into the small mound of pillows behind me. I knew when. When I decided to go to an 'advanced' school instead of my normal one. That was when I began drowning. Drowning in the pressure of getting perfect grade, drowning in the wish to do something with my gift of writing, drowning in the homework that was piled on night and day. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, thinking back to the easy days. When I didn't even have to study for tests, when I didn't have the pressure of growing up so fast. I laughed at the thought. There was always pressure to grow up, one way or another. Suddenly, I couldn't stop laughing. My weak laughter had turned into a rasping cough and I took a breath, panicking slightly as my lungs tightened. The pressure subsided slightly and I took a deep breath of relief, not missing the feeling of tension in my chest. I propped one leg up on the couch, resting my laptop on that knee. If only my past self could see me now. What would she say? Knowing myself, probably something along the lines of 'Go get lost in a book!'. Reading was always an escape, and it always would be. I glanced at the kitchen table where my freshly purchased book sat, it's cover shiny with the promise of a new adventure. I leaned my head back, a new story bubbling up inside of me. Sadly, now was not the time. I shook my head, pulled my glasses down to my nose yet again and turned back to my laptop, it's screen silently waiting for me to return. I would finish this. I would finish it, and I would get some sleep tonight. I had to at least try....

Author's Note

Well, this was demanding to be written. So.... here it is.