Thought provoking stuff, it is that speaks the heart very well. You envision the shades, the moments, the scenario & the perspectives of vast world to your very eyes & nicely so smoothly let it leap down in words form the walls - the corners of your creative head. Lovely. You show a very heartfelt through realistic scenario of world... in ... through words. Excellent job!
My fav. line:
If you understand what I say,
You know how easy it is to despair.
Ah... so much and many things you creatively say in such ... few evocative lines. If the world underestimates or ain't understand what's meant to be understood then it'll never understand what's made to be worth or valued: "Humanity". Brilliant!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Wow! This review made my day. It means so much more than reviews that say little more than "I like.. read moreWow! This review made my day. It means so much more than reviews that say little more than "I liked it." Actually, I don't know how much credit I can take for this one because it came to me so easily... But such a wonderful review is much appreciated!
If this came easily, it's because it came straight from your heart. Write on!
8 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Becky! It was good to meet you at the writers' group and a pleasant surprise to .. read moreThank you so much, Becky! It was good to meet you at the writers' group and a pleasant surprise to see you here. And I'm so pleased at your kind review. If you post some writing here, send me a read request. Or message me on Facebook, or I believe you mentioned you were on LinkedIn? I hope to get some chapters of my novel on the Cafe soon, too.
8 Years Ago
It was nice to meet you too. I will be posting things here as well. Take care.
Well Jennie, I do understand (please read my story Angst on this very same topic if you find the time).
You captivated well the feeling of not belonging, the feeling of missing out on things that other people seem to do without difficulty. Not seeing the meaning of it all.
At face value, everybody seems to be content with life but indeed beneath the surface...
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks for your reading and review, Philip; it means a lot. Heading over to read your story...
I really felt a lot after reading your lines they are very expressive & valuable in life. Good One!
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you so very much. Making the reader feel emotions is what poetry is all about, eh? Your readi.. read moreThank you so very much. Making the reader feel emotions is what poetry is all about, eh? Your reading and review are much appreciated. I'm gratified at the response this poem has received.
9 Years Ago
Yes you're right & I'm glad that I had the opportunity to read your poem.
Thanks for sharing.. read moreYes you're right & I'm glad that I had the opportunity to read your poem.
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful piece of work....
Yes, I understand.. You have a gracious way, of writing about a delicate subject. Making those that understand feel not so alone, and those that do not understand..perhaps they will be enlightened & a bit more understanding for someone close. Delicate heart prints are upon this piece, thank you for sharing ( :
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Heartfelt appreciation for your kind review; I always value your opinion, Renee.
9 Years Ago
I enjoyed reading .. I look forward to reading more of your works, Jennie ( :
You have a powerful and valueable piece here. I bet it strikes a chord with many. I liked the way it restated the same problem many ways, you can never say it enough, in fact I think that phase could have gone on longer. I was slightly disappointed with the last verse, it doesn't completely wreck the poem but I'm sure it could be tickled and improved. Some poems, not many, have every right to be lengthy. Thankyou for a fine and wise piece of very human writing.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thank you very, very much for your reading and review, Adam! Your statement about the last stanza i.. read moreThank you very, very much for your reading and review, Adam! Your statement about the last stanza is thought-provoking and I'll certainly think about any changes that could be improvements.
Yeah I have felt these things It is easy to feel out of place in a world where value is measured in currency and education. But what does it really matter in the end rich and poor sleep side by side.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
You are so right, Mr. Tate! Glad you read and commented; I'm honored.
Jennie - at one time or another I'm afraid we've all experienced one or more of these. To be almost THERE! to just need to reach out a little further and then have the proverbial rug pulled out from under you.
It is so easy to "see" how grand a life others, undeserving, are having and yet not know what trials and tribulations they may have gone through to get THERE.
You've hit upon my meaning exactly, Dave! Thanks so much for your reading and review.
9 Years Ago
You write very well. Perhaps you would like to read some of mine. I have posted a short story The .. read moreYou write very well. Perhaps you would like to read some of mine. I have posted a short story The Picture? I would hope you would enjoy it.
This is so true. Every stanza relates to our lives.keen observation and brilliant piece.God bless you
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
And you too! I'm glad you can relate to it. (I've been a little surprised by how many people have .. read moreAnd you too! I'm glad you can relate to it. (I've been a little surprised by how many people have said they relate to it.) Thank you so very much!
An emotional write full of yearning to be known, understood..and like the last verses sums it up - we hope that people will empathize.
I can sense that music does inspire you :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks so much, Moon! You've truly grasped my meaning in this poem and that's always gratifying. An.. read moreThanks so much, Moon! You've truly grasped my meaning in this poem and that's always gratifying. And you're right about the music part.
Jennie: I must say in all honesty, you blew me away...so relateable to me. When I read it's literal and I'm there with the character and the thoughts you evoked in me are good, but also sad. Everyone has dark days and nights, sometimes too many and that's so melancholy, to feel so alone. When I read the questions about accomplishments - that demon that guilt, and shame, that low lonely feeling came once again, and when you wrote a child, the way people dismiss your opinions, it's unreal, aww, that's shameful, and hurtful, and I have felt it all to often, then an orphaned child, I had to stop, get up and ponder, very emotionally packed poem, the guidance you offer is amazing. Right now I feel you are a good person with a beautiful heart, very talented with awesome insight into the feelings and pain of others. Just brilliant writing. Thank you so very much. Dale
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Again I must say I'm humbled at such an AWESOME review! It's always wonderful when my poem touches .. read moreAgain I must say I'm humbled at such an AWESOME review! It's always wonderful when my poem touches a reader, Yes, this was another one that I really poured some emotion into.
There is an old Jewish proverb that says when a person dies an entire universe is destroyed and lost ... So it is with each of us as to what transpires within our hearts and minds that no one sees but the you and me that live there trapped within the confines of the cranium that carries our entire universe about from day to day with all its worries and all its cares that very few ever know about, or wish to know about ... This is a profound piece of your heart penned to page that has a lot to say in words of wisdom to take to heart for passersby ... Very thought provoking ... And yes, I relate ...
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks for the positive word! It means a lot to me. I shall try to get to some of your poems in re.. read moreThanks for the positive word! It means a lot to me. I shall try to get to some of your poems in return soon. Looking forward to it.
9 Years Ago
I will take some time and read some of your book ... Stories are my thing more than poetry, though I.. read moreI will take some time and read some of your book ... Stories are my thing more than poetry, though I never know what I shall set down to write ... Often times I may write a poem to insert into the body of my stories ...Odd ain't I? ... Course anyone who lives in Smalltown, Texas has to be odd ...
9 Years Ago
I grew up in a small town in Texas so I know what you mean. The book takes place in Texas, also, so.. read moreI grew up in a small town in Texas so I know what you mean. The book takes place in Texas, also, so you may like that. And I have inserted a couple of poems into the book since one of my main characters is a songwriter/musician. Mostly the book to me is a number of nice vignettes and a character study. I'm interested to know if I can package it as a real story with reader appeal. I've been told that some of the last chapters are the best, and I wonder if the book would benefit from starting there (maybe chapter 21 or 22) and telling the rest of the story in flashbacks.
Don't let anyone begin to write your story for you with their ideas, though advice is nice ... It's .. read moreDon't let anyone begin to write your story for you with their ideas, though advice is nice ... It's your story ... I am about 40 miles west of Abilene on I-20 ... It is a Smalltown and the signature town I use in most all my stories ... I have a story, Wired For Sound, that takes place in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and in fact I lived there as a kid ...
9 Years Ago
My hometown is in North Central Texas and I now live in the Dallas area. I'll have to make a note t.. read moreMy hometown is in North Central Texas and I now live in the Dallas area. I'll have to make a note to check out the story.
9 Years Ago
Well that story is a dark thriller ... If you decide to check out a story of mine and do not care so.. read moreWell that story is a dark thriller ... If you decide to check out a story of mine and do not care so much for dark and thriller, I do have a couple of love stories, if you can handle mushy from an ole Texas boy's perspective ... I attempted to present the concept of a love story even a guy could enjoy while reeling the women in ... If so, just message me, and I will point you in a direction, whatever your tastes in stories ...
Music is a huge part of my life and an inspiration. My favorite bands include Train, Imagine Dragons, James, Matchbox Twenty, etc. And of course I still listen to all of those classic-rock songs tha.. more..