Sorrow

Poem about heartache

Sorrow

 

You may be gone but you’re place in my heart remains. The pain and sorrow that burns for your presence will always be there, reminding me of the sacrifice you made. I’ll never forget the person you were and how selfless an act you did. I miss you so much it hurts. This ache in my chest where you used to be rips through my body every time I think of you. Always. Never stopping. I miss the feel of your soft skin and the way your hair tickled me gently as I held you close. The way your finger tips grazed over my own as I played lovingly with your hands. The feel of your lips on mine as I kissed you deeply; never wanted anything more. I hope one day you’ll find your way back to me. Though I know this will never come. I pray to god to keep you safe and cherish your soul forever. I’m truly grateful for you and the moments we spent together; however fleeting they may have been.

I could have held you in my arms forever, and it still wouldn’t have been long enough

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Great, my new friend !! I can see a great use of pathos and a hidden talent here, can I give you an advice, though?
Don't play it safe, you don't need it ! Try to set a metrica, a poem scheme, that's not going to be easy and you probably will struggle with rhymes, flow and stuff like that at the beginning but don't worry, take your time ! Do it by steps if you prefer, start setting a poem scheme (I don't know, 4 quatrais or triplets, the way you feel more confortable with ;) ), then when you're ok with that work on metrica (make lines look pretty much the same size), then on the flow and a beginning of rhyme scheme (just write some random rhymes, just to get practice) and then work on a proper rhyme scheme.
Great job, I loved it !!

[Luciole]

This is great! You used really great details and I could really feel the emotion. Well done :)