You may have been experimenting, but what you've captured here is beyond reproach. The words evoke feeling from anyone who reads this; it's something that everyone can relate to whether they would like to admit it or not. It's hard to write about something so personal, so raw, but I think you've done a wonderful job and I wanted to thank you for sharing it..
Been there, Done that. It's irritating. Nice poem. I like to experiment with formats also.
Check out "Our World, Our Fantasy" whenever you get the time...
i really like the flow, reminds me of sylvia plath.
but yeah man, nighttime is the best because you don't have to worry about other people and you can do as you please. =]
The structure is interesting indeed and the use of repetition works well to clement emotion behind the work. What I mean to say is the inner focus is supported on either side by the use of repetition in structure and visually.
You may have been experimenting, but what you've captured here is beyond reproach. The words evoke feeling from anyone who reads this; it's something that everyone can relate to whether they would like to admit it or not. It's hard to write about something so personal, so raw, but I think you've done a wonderful job and I wanted to thank you for sharing it..
Just a lover of words--
A poet of sorts...
A soul, who knows what it's like--
To lose.
I'll be nineteen soon, and I've been doing recreational writing for about eight years now, though I was discoura.. more..