Sparrow and Willow

For two friends of mine, both loved in different ways.

A willow weeps at the edge of a pond,
Her wilting beauty befalls her, fond--
Bewildering tendrils, lay beyond.

I see her great branches cascading down toward the lowly one,
Wishing only to reach for the sun--
A battle that can never be won.

A lonesome sparrow flits across the sky,
Crystalline twinkles in his eye--
And that voice for which I’d die.

Never a more handsome bird than he,
And do my eyes dare deceive me?
Amongst the willow, his home be.

Willow--
Sparrow--
Be you nothing alike, I know.

And even though, so close in name,
You’re certainly not the same--
Still, I cannot bear my shame.

For even you must surely see,
My feelings bewitch even me--
Oh willow, can you forgive me?

I have grown to care for the sparrow,
With his wings like an arrow--
To the core of my marrow.

However, this cannot be,
For willow, you are a dear friend to me--
Very much so, as he.

Still, I must confess my need,
Is very grave, indeed--
This, I ask, you heed.

For even you must surely see,
My feelings bewitch even me--
Oh willow, can you forgive me?

I have grown to love the sparrow,
And it cuts me, like an arrow--
To the core of my marrow.

Author's Note

I know; it's not a picture of a willow, nor a sparrow, but it was the best I could do.

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

This is so pretty and sad! You do a very good job personifying both sparrow and willow, and your diction is interesting and classical. I will say, though, that the rhythm changes are a bit jarring, so you might want to smooth it out a little. Some lines have more syllables than your pre-established pattern permits and some have fewer, which is kind of weird to read. Of course, it's your choice, though! Well done.

[Dr. S. D. Blankenship D..]

this is very nice... Torn by one for another thats kind of like real life in its bizzar way. the way that you talk about the Animal isvery kind indeed. As you have shown love for it in many ways

thank you
S.D.Blankenship the GOTHICCOWBOY

[Cardinal Robin]

Ah I see you are so charismatic your friends want to own you yet they don't get you and can't have you because you don't have yourself... and on the cycle goes...Wonderful write...

Her wilting beauty befalls her, fond--
Bewildering tendrils, lay beyond. ... this is how I see you

Be you nothing alike, I know. and so are you ironically

Still, I must confess my need,
Is very grave, indeed--
This, I ask, you heed. and I see you cannot help but be irresistible, quite a burden ye carry careless soul!

All in all I still like you anyway...

[[untitled]]

I think you did very well indeed! Your use of metaphors is superb as is your use of language. I was truly touched by this beautifully emotional piece and your intention is lucid. The Willows tears and tendrils...very clever writing. This is told in a mix of third/first person, again very intelligent and difficult. The 'Show don't tell' issue did not come into play here, you have left a nice margin for your readers imagination...I loved it.
Kudos from me!
Cheers,
Helen :-))

[+xDrunkenFairytalex+]

On the contrary. It's, both, a picture of a willow AND a sparrow. I saw them beautifully.
The further down the list of your poems I read... the more in love with your work I become.
I'm going to make my mom read this poem. I'm sure she'll fall in love with it too.

[Windy]

Fate, Fate, Fate.... This is SO part of my life. Good write. Please read note being sent to you. Windy

[Rainbowco]

Lovely, Sparrows, Willows and your Poem. Enjoyed the read very much.

[lady o]

This is wonderfully written and very well executed... elegant in fact

[Ela]

I like this poem. It's really nice!!!!!!!! Please read some of mine! And, yea, I love that you used anime! it attracts me to the poem lol!