Invisible

I see your beauty,
Alive in the moonlight.
I want to cry out--
I want to scream.
Anything,
To get you to notice me--
But you won’t,
And you never will…
For I am a plague to you--
A disease.
You don’t want me,
But you cannot get rid of me.
You just want to be rid of me--
As I am rid of you--
Rid of your love.
Free of your attention--
And trapped within my own desires.
I just want you to notice me.
I just want you to care.
I just want you to look at me--
To realize,

I am there.

Reviews

[Haden]

i don't know if they do but the rest of us certainly do! this has a nice rhythm to it. the "free of your attention" line almost seems like she's okay, but then, it's sad again .. "to realize I am there". biting for all of us who have been there.

[Lucinda Bogart]

Wanting, longing, waiting, despairing, despising....this is so inspiring. It moved me, and now I have to go write something just so I can sleep tonight, and it's all your fault !! Hahahaha....this is really great. Thanks for the inspiration !!

[Vatsayayana]

This is so vibrant and strong.
As Haden said... we notice you!
We shall stand up and shout it out.
I love the strength in your voice.
Your words have such longing to them.
I love this, truly.

[KayOss]

This poem definitely struck a nerve with me. I have been there, done that. I can certainly identify with the speaker in this. Sometimes, you just want to shout, "notice me! acknowledge my presence!" In fact, I have done that with a guy I was dating. I said just that. That really got his attention. Then, we talked about how I was feeling and worked out a system for fixing it. It worked well. It would have been easier if this poem had been around then, but that's okay. LOL I greatly enjoyed reading this, even if the feelings evoked struck home... Even if I could see myself within the lines of this poem. Very well done.

[Robert Luna]

I like this piece as it speaks of the way things are and by the end realizing they are how they are suppose to be in a way. I think you used your words perfectly and really captured a true sense of the emotion that are tied into these moment in life in which you are left to question yourself and the situation.



Great jOb!!!!!!

[Mariah]

This poem was good up until the end- then, it was phenomenal! (sp?) The end of a poem can make or break it, and this one definitely made it for me.

[sherra.]

It's such a powerful poem...
Congratulations :)
Kudos

[R J Askew]

The best line here for me is 'trapped within my own desires' as it just rings so very true. And that feeling of wanted to be noticed by one who steadfastly, for whatever reason, declines to notice is one many, if not most people will know at some time or other. And I like the gentle rhyme with which you kiss this off. Not too much, but it does embellish it.

[Linis Arizen]

I know that feeling of Need and Want.

Brilliantly written I liked it alot.

And Thanks fro your review.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

ah a lonrly little cry for acceptance it was written well