Work In Progress

Short story about an inner city kid on his road to redemption.

Her hair was so soft as it gently caressed my skin.  I loved this feeling.  It was as if nothing else in this world mattered, it was her and I alone in a matrix.  The sun warmed me as it beamed down ever so softly and the sandy water slowly passed between my toes as it had many times before.  This time it was different; coupled with the sound of the tide changing, it both calmed me and comforted me.  This was rather unusual for me considering that in the life I lead you can’t afford to make any mistakes.  For the average person a mistake means restarting or maybe paying some money to get it fixed, but for me it could cost more… much more. 

I often sit and ask myself why I chose this route for myself?  In high school, I was at the top of my class and my first year university was a breeze.  I guess I was just bored. My unique skills with money and my extensive street smarts just overpowered my skills in the classroom and I realized that they could be used in a different way.  From the time I was a child, I had seen the way the game worked and to me it was interesting.  On the block they used to call me, “The Brain” because if anybody needed to figure out any type of math equation or formulate some type of plot, I was who they came too. I guess you could say I came in handy.  Although I was involved in many ways I never wanted to be totally in it, I always thought that I could use my gifts to rise above the hood and do something with my life.  Guess I was wrong. 

They say, “You can take a n***a out the hood, but you can’t take the hood out the n***a” and they were right.  No matter how far I went and how much I tried, I found myself right back in that hood-hustle mentality, where is no such thing as trust and sometimes you gotta do things that you are not particularly comfortable with in order to survive.  I really thought there was no chance of me doing anything with my life.  To me my future was that of the typical black youth from the hood.  I would end up either dead or in jail and I had to just accept my fate. 

The block was buzzin’.  It was about that time. The fiends started crawling out into the street like cockroaches.  To me, night was the best time to get that money because more people did their s**t when it was harder to identify them.  It’s during this time when the gwop really starts to come in.  After a sale, me and the team were just posted when I saw her, she was BANGIN’, light-skinned; 5’10; with the body of an hour glass.  I had to holla.  As I approached with a sorta limp to add some swag to my walk, I realized who it was! 

“Keirra?”  She looked up and as the wind blew through her hair, I realized she was more beautiful up close and easily the best-looking girl on the block. 

“J, is that you?”

“You already know who dis is, but DAMN gurl you done changed!  Had a n***a thinking Beyonce made a trip to the hood!” I said laughing. 

Keirra was a girl I used to know from back in the day, before I became what I am now.  She used to come over to my house all the time; she was like my best friend.  She never looked like this though or else I woulda never let her leave, or maybe I woulda went with her.  Keirra was much more focused on what she wanted than I was.  As soon as she was done high school, she left and went to school in the states, something I always wanted to do but never had the determination to pull off.  I always wondered what had happened to her.  To see her now looking like this, I realized she had really made something with her life. 

“So how’s life treating you gurl?”

“I’m doing ma thang, you know me.  How bout you J?” She smiled.

“I feel that and you know what I’m doin.  I stay on the block getting that money” 

You could see her facial expression change along with the tone of the conversation. 

“Didn’t you used to tell me that you wanted something more than this life, more than the life where you have to look over your shoulder 24/7?”

“I did- ahh, I mean I do but you have to admit there are some things that are standing in my way.”

“That is just an excuse.  I could have said the same thing and I probably woulda been right beside you right now, doing the same thing.” 

“Is that such a bad thing?” I said jokingly. 

“But on the reals I see your point, Ma.”

“Good, I was just thinking about you too.  I can’t stand seeing you on this block anymore.  You said you wanted to get out of here so imma help you.  I have a link at a university and I want you to go.”

It was if no time had passed at all. She was right back to bossing me around.

I gave her a look as if I was deep in thought. 

“I don’t know…”

“No problem, come by my place tomorrow night and we’ll talk about it.”

She handed me a piece of paper with her address and number.  She gave me a kiss on the cheek and proceeded to walk away.  I gazed in awe as she walked away, her curvy mid-section moving from side to side.  I couldn’t believe it!  How could someone change that much in such a short period of time, while I had changed so little?  I’m still J doing the same things, in the same place. 

As I lay there in my dimly lit room staring blankly at the ceiling, a thousand thoughts raced through my mind.  I wondered if she’d ever consider or considered being in a relationship with a guy like me.  What would happen tomorrow?  Where could this all lead?  I sat there for a few more hours still thinking along those same lines until I finally nodded off. 

It’s time!  I was up early that morning.  I had to be looking GQ today!  This wasn’t just a normal day, I realized that this day could change my life, that she could change my life.  I got ready but it was still early, so I went to the store to get some new clothes.  I walked down McCowan and hit up STC (Scarborough Town Center).  I knew exactly what I wanted to cop.  While I was there I needed some new polo gear so I could get on my slime swag.  I picked up a Polo button-up in black and a black Polo toque to match.  There was one more stop to make before I went to her house, Footlocker.  I went inside, went straight to the counter and said, “lemme get at those new joints in white and black.”  They were the Retro rereleased Jordan 9’s.  I put them on and I was off to her crib. 

She came to the door looking more beautiful than ever.  She said, “Hi” and I fumbled with my words, still in awe by her beauty. 

“Whassup gurl?” I said, trying to sound cool.   

“Nun boo, come on in.” 

I walked in and took a quick look around.  This was a nice place.  I was in shock, so amazed by how well she was doing for herself!  I suddenly got really nervous

; I felt a subtle sweat start to come on and quickly asked for the bathroom.  She motioned towards the end of the long hallway to my right.  I walked down the hall looking at the pictures she had on the walls.  She had a lot of photos from her time at university.  Florida really had a beautiful campus.  I saw the semi-opened door to the bathroom directly across from the photo that I was looking at.  I pushed it open slowly and flicked on the light.  The whole time that I was in there, the only thing on my mind was the fact that it could have been me in those photos beside her at that beautiful campus.  I finished, flushed and washed my hands then face with cold water.  The pink fuzzy face cloth was warm on my now frozen face.  I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath.  I had been in there for quite some time now and I knew that she'd worry, so I quickly shut off the light and ran down the hall.  

She was sitting in a room on a large black leather couch in front of a big flat-screen T.V. watching the Jets game.  I reflected that she hadn't changed all that much because just like back in the day when the Jets were on, she went into a different universe, it was actually kind of like a trance.  I snuck up behind her, my feet careful not to make a noise on the dark brown hardwood floors.  My hands covered her eyes gently and I whispered gently in her ear just like I used to. 

"Guess who?"

"J, you truly haven't changed at all!"

Two gentle caramel colored dimples presented themselves as she began to smile.  I hopped onto the couch next to her and gave her a playful hug.  We playfully wrestled for what was probably two minutes but felt like hours.  We both got tired and realized that neither of us had the energy we used to. 

She leaned back and looked deep into my eyes and said, 

"I feel like we're kids all over again."

She had takend the words right out of my mouth.  I looked deeply back in to her eyes and said,

"I miss those days; I wish we could go back in time."

She looked at me with a familiar face, the face that she often wore after she had an idea. 

"Why go back in time when we can just pick up where we left off?"

There was a brief awkward silence as we both processed what she had just said.  Our eyes met and I got that feeling where every fiber of your being tells you that it is the time to lean in for the kiss.  My eyes closed and we moved slowly towards each other, right as our lips were about to touch, the doorbell rang.  She quickly pulled away and ran towards the door.  I couldn't believe it, I was just about to kiss her for the first time and somebody just had to come to the door and interrupt it all!  I was most worried because I wasn't sure that I would have this opportunity again.  I wondered if this was just a moment of passion because we had become reunited after such a long time.  At that moment I decided that I was not about to let her go again and a little interruption definitely was not going to stop me. 

I had turned back to the T.V when she re-entered the room.  She was with a tall, skinny man in a nice, black-tailored suit.  She had this overly nervous look on her face.  I automatically assumed that this must have been her Man and that she was nervous that he would find out what had almost taken place.  I quickly got up and introduced myself and shook the large man’s hand.  His name was, Robert Brown and he informed me that he worked at a Division 1 University in Florida. He had really dry hands and a tight grip.  It felt as if he was trying to crush all of my knuckles as he shook my hand.  It took a minute to realize that this was the link that Keirra had told me about.  I had no clue that I’d be meeting with him today though.  I felt much more relaxed for a second now knowing that Keirra and I possibly did have a chance.  Attached to the end of my thoughts of Keirra, was the thought of me not knowing what it was that I was going to tell this man when he questioned me about where I wanted to go in life, much less what I'd be doing at his university.  I now understood the look of nervousness on Keirra's face.  I once again began to sweat all over.  I felt a long bead of sweat drip from the top of my forehead, down the side of my left cheek and off my face.  I quickly brushed away its trail, as if it were never there. Robert turned to me and motioned for us to sit down at the couch, while Keirra went to get us drinks. 

"So, Mr. --?"

"Uhh Webster, Jerome Webster."

"Well nice to meet you Jerome, Keirra has only referred to you as ‘J’, before."

"Hahaha, that's just like her.  I sometimes wonder if she knows my real name!" 

"Obviously I do JEROME!" Keirra said as she came back in the room with the drinks, making sure to put extra emphasis on Jerome.

Both Robert and I laughed and said thank you for the drinks. 

"So, let's get down to business." 

My heart skipped a beat, but I recovered and said, 

"Shall we?"

"Ok so, I'm assuming that Keirra has told you that I would be coming and why I am here."

"Yes, she has."

Keirra gave me a look and I could tell that she knew that I was worried. 

"Good, then this shouldn't be too hard at all."

He had no idea.

"Let's start with something easy.  What exactly is it that you wish to gain from coming to my school?"

"Ummm, well I'm really good with numbers, so I was thinking of something along the lines of accounting or business."

"Well that's good, I can work with that."

The hood sometimes teaches you valuable lessons.  Because of the high intesnsity situations that I am often placed in, I had to learn to think quickly on my feet and that often came in handy.  I looked over at Keirra and saw a look of relief on her face and her shoulders that were once tense drop into a more relaxed state. 

There was a small pause in the conversation as Robert’s phone buzzed.

Robert once again started talking after sending a brief text message. 

"Well I just spoke to one of my friends in the business department of my school and he said that there is an opening for you."

I was amped!  I couldn't believe that this may finally be the time that I can do something with my life and realize my dreams. 

"Thank you so much Robert!  You have no idea how much you've helped me."

Robert smiled before saying, 

"The only thing is that you have to leave within the week."

At first, I was alarmed but then I realized that this was the best thing for me because every day that I was on the block could be my last. 

"That sounds good to me, I just have some loose ends to tie up before I leave and then I'll be good to go!" 

Robert got up and we shook hands. 

"Well I've really got to get going, but I look forward to seeing you by the end of week." 

"Same to you."

Keirra smiled and walked him to the door.  I heard the door close and suddenly saw Keirra come running down the hallway. 

"You did it!" She yelled as she jumped on me.

She leaned in and gave me a gentle kiss on my cheek.  As she pulled back, our eyes met. It was as if everything else in the room slowly melted away.  I had a sudden urge to kiss her.  No matter how much I tried, I couldn't stop myself, something was pulling me towards her.  I leaned in and our lips met for the first time.  I know it’s a cliché but I actually felt the fireworks exploding!  She led me down the hallway to a dark room.  I couldn't see anything at all.  Keirra pushed me down and I felt the silk sheets hit the back of my neck along with the fluffiness of the mattress beneath me.  She hopped on top of me and we made passionate love. 

On the walk home, my mind couldn't focus.  I truly couldn't believe what had just happened at Keirra's house!  I walked onto my block paying absolutely no attention to my surroundings.  I walked into my building and started up the stairs.  On the landing of the 3rd floor stairs, there was a group of goons smoking and drinking 40's.  My mind was so far off I didn't even realize that these guys were from the other side of town, the side of town that we had a history of problems with.  When it finally clicked who these guys were, it was too late.  I reached for my gun but I was quickly stabbed twice in the stomach. I tried to run but another jab of the cleaver made sure that I would not be going anywhere.  As I fell to the ground, it felt as if I exited my body and I was helplessly watching these events from across the hall.  My body suddenly got warm, before long a deathly cold slowly took it over.  Unable to move, I was forced to lie in a pool of my own blood and watch the men who had stabbed me taunt me.  I felt my life slowly fading away.  I wondered if these would be the last faces, I'd see before I died.  My mind raced to Keirra and I wondered if I'd ever see her again.  My thoughts were disrupted when one of the hooded men presented a semi-automatic Mac-11 machine gun.  Despite the fact that I was almost positive that I was about to die, I wasn't afraid at all.  They looked at me with confused faces, most likely wondering why I didn't cower or beg but the truth was I wasn't afraid of death, I was afraid of what I'd miss.  The man raised the gun and pointed it directly at my face.  Just as he was about to fire, an old man entered the stairway.  The shot hit me on the top of my head; I felt a burning sensation all over my entire head.  It felt as if there was molten lava inside of my skull.  This feeling lasted only a short time because my body soon went completely numb.  I wondered if this was how it felt to die - was I going to die?  Apparently, before you die you're supposed to have visions of the past but not in this case.  I was determined not to die because I had way too much to live for.  I decided to take this time to plan my future with Keirra.  An image of her and I on a beach came into my head.  She was lying across my stomach.  Her hair was so soft as it gently caressed my skin.  I loved this feeling.  It was as if nothing else in this world mattered, it was her and I alone in a matrix.  The sun warmed me as it beamed down ever so softly and the sandy water slowly passed between my toes as it had many times before.  This time it was different; coupled with the sound of the tide changing it both calmed me and comforted me.