Marie

A short little "guide" to my life with my ex. Obviously not complete, but kind of a peek inside.

 I knew a girl named Marie, once upon a time. We met when we were kids after her dark days, and during my dark times. I was knee deep into toxic experimentation. She was bruised, battered, and scarred from the horrors of her past. We both found comfort in each other's arms, and in the comfort that their was two people in the world, who were as lost as we were at that moment. Within our embrace we found a peace of sorts that dampened out the noise of the outside world, and a peace that I have yet to find in another. For two young souls, our love was as real as love could ever be. I was her first love, and she was the first girl that I actually thought I could live with forever. Even though my young mind hadn't quite grasped the thought of forever as it would in later years. Together we were one, and together we could fight anything else the world would throw at us. And we did with valiant that is normally reserved for those old folk heroes of long ago wars. We may have lost that battle, but our war was from over.

Fate has always been a strange bedfellow. We ran into each other on a sunny day in the spring years later. She was the same beauty then as she had been years ago. I swear I fell in love with her again at that very moment. The night we spent together was one I'll never forget. The urge to kiss those lips was so great at moments. I even had a moment where I thought I was going to lean over and place my lips on hers. The feeling that I got at that moment was so much more than physical. It was a long dormant emotional bond that was awakened as she sat within inches of me. Neither one of us made any kind of move that night. For our hearts were attached to others at the time. However fate would once again step in a few months later. Marie always knew when I was in trouble. She always knew when I needed her the most. She came to my door one night at my lowest point in a long time. Her embrace brought those butterflies. Her smile brought back happier memories. The light in her eyes told me that everything would be ok. For the first time in years, I felt the sweet taste of her lips and the warmth of her breath on my skin. For a moment, I felt like I was home. For a moment, everything was going to work. But like I said, fate is a strange bedfellow. We embraced, we kissed, but the feelings weren't there for me. My mind was with another, and I couldn't give my heart to Marie until I had retrieved my heart from my last love. Once again, we lost the battle.

One year later, and we met again. I told her things that I had been thinking for ages. I told her things that were sitting in my heart for years. I wanted to be the man, that she deserved. We tried to give it a go. She was hurt and I was still hurt. I promised to spoil her like she deserved. She loved me more in those moments then I did. Not because I didn't want to, but I couldn't. I loved her and did want to make us work. I knew I had promised that I would marry her someday, but I couldn't then. So once again, it was not meant to be. The battle was lost to past demons.

Years pass, and things change. One thing that remained the same was my love for Marie. Her ghost occupied my thoughts and dreams. Lovers came and went, yet she remained. No one could ever replace my dear Marie. I hadn't seen her in years, but I knew I still loved her. It was years later that her feelings were the same for me during the absence of each other. Then fate came knocking with a gift out of nowhere. The gift was my dear Marie still looking as beautiful as ever. Her very presence lit up my insides like the fourth of July. I had to fight the urge to grab her and take her away from that place. I felt a great sense of sadness as I couldn't do just that. All I wanted to do at that moment was to grab her and take her away from the man that I knew wasn't treating her right. Months later, I'd get my chance. This time I said, I'd never leave her, nor would I ever forsake her. The love of my life, my soulmate, and my best friend was finally mine again. We held one another tighter than before. When she came back into my life, the darkness cleared in my head. The sun lit up the sky, and once again my life felt right. We finally thought that this time, we would get married, have some kids, grow old, and die together. We went out, made plans, made love, and made a baby. We made it through the good times and the bad times. Our love was stronger than ever for years. I knew she was the one, just as I had always knew she was the one. Once again though the battle took a turn for the worse. I lost sight of what my dear Marie meant to me and how much she meant to me. I lost sight of just how beautiful she was to me. On a stormy night, my dear Marie left. I thought maybe I could retrieve her with some words and some promises. Even though the words are true and the promises are as well. This was not enough to keep the heart of my dear Marie. She has left and yet another battle has been lost.

I'm unsure if I will ever have my dear Marie back in my arms. In my dreams, she's still here with me. I can still feel her, and they tell me not to give up hope. My dreams tell me that one day, Marie will return, and we will pick up just like it was yesterday except it will be much better. Except next time the battles will not be lost, and the war shall be won.       

Reviews

[Crinkle°]

There is a lot of love through these words. Innocent and tender. Very very nice piece.