Sonnet 11 (Shakespearean Style)

I did use Shakespeare's style, but replaced the rhyme scheme in this one with what turned out to be parallelism.

Every breath I breathe is exhaled for you

Every move I make is made for you

Every thought I think is thought for you

Every poem is written for you;

Every beat my heart beats is for you

Every minute I live is for you

Every day I live is just for you

Every thing I do is done for you.

But, I know it can never be enough

It is not enough to describe my love

An eternity would not be enough

There is nothing that can describe my love.

  I wish you could know my heart and my mind

  So you would know my love and not be blind.

Author's Note

There is tons of repetition and parallelism in this sonnet. The true rhymes are only in the couplet.

Reviews

[Hailey]

"Every breath I breathe is exhauled for you
Every move I make is made for you
Every thought I think is thought for you
Every poem I write is for you"
Just my personal opinion, cause the first three line have such perfect rythm and its slightly disrupted when you get to the fourth line. I'd suggest doing what you did with the other three and say something like "Every poem I write is written for you" Thats just my opinion though, so u dont have to listen
other than that, it was cute, it was sincere, and it was well written. so good job :)

[topsyturvy]

Aargh I know how this feels. I advice you to be careful though, sometimes when too much and the love we hope we deserve doesn't come, the pain of giving too much could kill you. Then again if you're at that point,and very much in love, it doesn't matter. All that matters is the one person you give your all to. She's special and loved, I hope she knows that :)

[Sarah]

ahh :) i love it, i wish the rest of the world could experience the love that we have :) **muah**!!!

[An owl on the moon]

The world needs to see love that is this deep, this lasting, this profoundly moving. Beautifully expressed, with the desire for the one you love to know your heart in all its fullness. Wonderful write.

[Tate Morgan]

NO one should holds so much sway over another

[LisetteCanWrite!]

This was really sweet and you can't go wrong if this is written for someone special. Your ending I think everyone has felt that way at some point or maybe many, I know I have thought that way before. Very genuine and inspiring.. keep at it!

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a sweet and kind poem. One that expresses your love completely.

[Aussie]

Awh,this was great!From the speakers perspective theres a lot of honesty and a feeling of vulnerability.It's very touching and sweet.It's well written,flows well and is a timeless topic.Great work :)

[hope.]

so, i hope and bet you guys get married. this is well written, and i enjoyed reading it. :)

[Tina Kline]

I think this works very well. I sure like it. Completely in love with someone.