Sarah Sonnet

Once upon a time

There was a lonely man

Who was very good at twisting words and making them rhyme

He finally got the girl he wanted after a span

Of several months, but she was worth the wait

She was everything he ever wanted and more

He made a promise that they would never seperate

He finally told her he loved her, all the way to his heart's core

It's officially only been eight days

But it feels as if it's been a lifetime of happiness

Their relationship is headed the right way

They both want forever, nothing less

They...we...are the epitome of love

Our fate, as well as our hands, fit together perfectly, like a glove

Reviews

[Wicahpi]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iambic_pentameter

The message is perfectly clear and lovely.
The rhyme scheme is seemingly unforced
but the flow is not smooth, as should be in a Sonnet.

A Sonnet is not easy to craft! I'm sure we all struggle with this form.
With a bit of tweaking this could be a perfectly beautiful Sonnet!!
I encourage you to do just that. Good Luck in the Contest.

[Sarah]

YES! thats me

[Deepshikha]

Ah, new love! You've done justice to it.

[Sarah]

yay!

[W.k.kortas]

The rhyme scheme is only part of the battle--indeed, probably a good portion less than half--in writing a truly top-drawer sonnet. You need to pay attention to meter as well; while you have the rhyme scheme down, and the thematic string is strong, there's really no feel for meter here, which keeps the piece from being truly effective.

[Tina Kline]

This is really great a sonnet. Finding the one you want and having it work out to be together. Nice happy ending. Very well written.

[Sarah]

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D ITS MY FAVORITE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its amazing..just ike you

[deeps]

This is a wonderful sonnet i like it.

[Coyote Poetry]

A outstanding sonnet. I enjoyed the story and the ending. Thank you for sharing.
Coyote

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Loved this sonnet.. how nice it is to find a new romance that feels so right.. I really hope if this is real that it works out for you. Love can be so unpredictable.. but when it's right.. it feels so right! Great job here!