Why Am I Like This?

A tale of the daily life of many students around in the world.

“ Hey man, how are you?”  Alyssa asks as she is looking at her phone already forgetting the question. She has beautiful curly hair, short and a beautiful body. Not really big b***s, or a really big but. She is a simple type of beautiful, but it’s hard to tell as  she is lost  in the infinite amusement that tweets and funny memes offer.

“I’m doing really well dude. How are you?” I ask not caring at all. I am too focus on my head. Too focused on all the thoughts that hurt my soul and my body. I am in my head so much that the outside world feels fake. Just a bunch of people doing the same thing, yelling, talking about nothing in particular , looking at their phones rather than each other. Am I the only person that f*****g sees this?

“ Dude look at this!!” she says with a smile laughing as she hands me her phone. It’s one of those frog memes with the weird face on a baby. I laugh, I laugh hard trying to convince her that what she showed me funny.

“ Wow dude, thank you for  showing me that. Anyway I have to get to class, see you later”

She gives me a hug while still looking at her phone and we go join the flow of students walking from place to place. This school used to be full of twist and turns, unknow staircases and unknow people. Now it all looks the same, pale blue walls with breaks of flyers half hazardly hung with cheap tape.

Why did I pretend to laugh? Why am I like this? She didn't NEED me to laugh. She just wanted to show me something. So why did I fake it so much? Because that is what we have to do. Because otherwise what good are you if not for a laugh? Jesus stop thinking like that you’re cool relax.

I take a seat in the middle row, far enough to make the teacher think I care but not far enough so the teacher does not call on me because she thinks I’m not paying attention. I pull out and untangle my headphones quickly before the class starts. I want to  listen to music and relax if only for a moment. Two arms wrap around me and my body tenses. Of course not, now we should smile. Because who ever this is, likes us.

“Hey you!! How is your club doing?

She is nice, small, and caring. But she knows nothing about me. I told her I was in Anime club in the beginning of the semester and now that seems to be the only thing she remembers about me. I can’t blame her, I don't know her name, All I remember is that she is a cheerleader, has a dickhead of a boyfriend and has a dog that lost a leg.

“ It's going well we are trying to set up a…” She is looking at her phone. I look over and she is texting her boyfriend, I can tell because the heart and crown emoji. I see the words “dumb b***h” and “whatever” before I look away.

You shouldn't say anything it's not your place and we would just make it worse. Class will start soon.

Her face becomes flushed, and tears begin to form. She sniffs “ God, I think I’m getting sick” she says as she wipes away half a tear. “ Anyway that’s cool about your club” she says with an Oscar award winning  smile.

“Yea it is”