Misunderstood

Everyone has met

the small, lonely kid on the playground

who just wants to make friends.

He grows up to travel the world

hired as a silent assassin

by criminal masterminds.

It’s not his fault he made them sick.

They called him names and upset him,

now he wants revenge.

He really only ever wanted a hug.

but every time he tries to spread

some love, he gets hit in the face

with tastes of unpleasant chemicals,

the pepper spray substitute that keeps him away.

You could understand how he’d be bitter.

Sure, he shows up in kitchens uninvited,

but he just wants to get to know you a bit.

It is true that he’s a dangerous man,

but there are much worse than him!

Most of the rest of his family kill for a living.

Some are serial killers,

some are madmen who shoot anything that moves,

and some have plans and agendas.

But unlike his family, he doesn’t lie

or steal, or cheat,

or manipulate others for his benefit.

I feel bad for him,

because Salmonella is really just a nice guy.