Rave Days

Older piece recapturing of my misspent youth

A sea of bodies pressing into an ocean of dreams

Captivated by the tracing neon lights in a darkened room

Hypnotized by a collaboration of man and machine

Materializing baseline and beats

 

Losing a vanishing grip of an imaginary authenticity

Finding pure ecstasy in this chemical ecstasy

Tonight I stitch these eyes close

Tape this mouth shut

 

I don’t want to know

Nothing but the sounds

Paralyzed in the enigmatic

Lucid truth of it all

 

Pounding rifts in my mind

As the D.J. spins it one more time

I continue to keep on Rollin

So I can feel utterly real

 

Becoming one with this

Room of living dead fools

Liberating myself to this

Symphony of lights and sounds

 

As my body breaks free

And I start to believe

This body in motion

Can not, will not be contained

Author's Note

Older piece recapturing of my misspent youth

Reviews

[Linda Crawford Ortiz]

Rob. A few corrections, small but needed: stitch the eyes close(d); Nothing but the sounds should be anything but the sounds; Liberating FROM or SURRENDERING to--this/symphony...

Other than that...even an old woman like me feels the freedom of one at a rave--yes, I understand where you're coming from, but only because i watch a lot of tv and I am a film buff. But--tho' I was never and would never...I feel the excitement of such a hypnotic event. I can nearly hear the bass and see the lights as they keep the rhythm to the beat. This is quite the exciting descriptive write!!!

[Meet Lola, The Better H..]

I love this. Makes me swing white. Especially love the lines "Becoming one with this
Room of living dead fools". Great peice.

[Randall Richard]

Losing a vanishing grip of an imaginary authenticity
Finding pure ecstasy in this chemical ecstasy
Tonight I stitch these eyes close
Tape this mouth shut

best stanza in the piece. some good lines here

[Bubo]

Great description caught in your words of a rave........

Losing a vanishing grip of an imaginary authenticity
Finding pure ecstasy in this chemical ecstasy
Tonight I stitch these eyes close
Tape this mouth shut

Having never been, your words provide such imagary I could have been there!

[H. A. M.]

That's was interesting. At least you were living.
"Losing a vanishing grip of an imaginary authenticity ",,,still reality sucks theme. I like the phrasing of it. I see the glow sticks and the crowd and the dark room. I've never been to a rave but I get the picture that it's something to do. You captured the moment with this. Nice.

[Krystal Waters]

When we are young we do so many things... it's all a part of living and learning. What is sad is when the young get older and continue doing stupid things. Eventually we find our way, get married and have our own family and see our kids do the same dumb things we did...


Krystal

[D . R . Marais]

dude. this is one of the best pieces i have read from you... not for how it was written but mostly for what it says and how it says it. It totally captures the impulsive, escapist, mindset of youth. it was almost like reading a poem about myself haha. that looking for life in an illusion almost. I love the imagery of the rave and the feel that actually comes from it. I could picture it clearly in my head and kinda wished i was there. it intrigues me with ur description when you said "misspent" ... totally know what you mean by that, yet i can't help still enjoying that kinda stuff. if ya know what i mean

[Kara Emily Krantz]

"Losing a vanishing grip of an imaginary authenticity
Finding pure ecstasy in this chemical ecstasy "

Nice rhyme there... you really captured the rave feeling well.... i have actually never expereinced this, but like isaac stated before me, you definitely capture well enough to transport us there. :)

nice job

hugs

[I.R.]

wow, this legion of flesh bumping into each other in the darkness of a room. I have never been to a rave, but you just made me feel like I have. The description and poetic language is really great. I love the part about sewing the eyes and the mouth shut: surrendering vision and voice just to melt down into a lump of moving mass. Another great one.

[Collie]

I totally could see you on the floor in a sea of bodies...flowing and moving...the lights blinking and strobing. I want to say I can see the laser lights in your hands but I don't want you to think it a joke...I mean it...note the use of the term "laser" and not "glow sticks" :)

I could really feel what was going on here.