Just Can't Get Right

My feelings as of lately, about myself and my searching to better myself. Trying to find my calling in life. Hope you enjoy

Driving all night
Wanting to see the sunrise
Before it’s too late
Needing to feel the relief of a new day 

in a new place
new chance to get it right
Looking into a rear view mirror
Seeing these eyes peer back at me
empty and lost
I break down and cry

knowing they belong to me

These open wounds into a battered soul

I awake to find it was only a dream
The reality that awaits
hasn’t changed
There is no escape for me
I feel so alone
trapped
A prisoner to my life
Why can’t I get it right
I pray day after day
For understanding why must I feel this way
Doesn’t seem the beings in the stars are listening
Turning a deaf ear to my cries
Gazing upon me with blind eyed stares

I roll out of bed, hating this man I am
Light a cigarette as the cold red glow
frames the dark shadows of my face
Choking back my rage
Self-loathing thoughts
Why can’t I be more

Loop’s in my head
Taking a deep drag
allowing the fire to rest in my lungs
So I know I can still feel

Looking to the floor

Knowing it holds a shallow grave

for the stranger I have become

 

Once again I start the continued death march

Known as my day

My stomach in knots

At the very thought

of one more day

Suffocating in the very air I breath

 

Emptiness fills me

As I look into the mirror

Fighting back my tears

I want to just break down and cry

Seeing this near lifeless form standing there

Numb

A void breeding within me

Longing to be filled

To have a purpose or meaning

I just can’t seem to find my escape

I just can’t seem to get it right

Today or ever

Pressing my hand to the mirror

Hoping in some way

To find the answers I’ve prayed

standing there right in front of me

Wishing I knew the key

To unlocking a better me

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Strong stuff. Raw emotion. Paints a clear picture of anguish and yearning for some indefineable otherness of self. A psychiatrist might search for chemical imbalances or some such, or put analyse the crap out of you over a thousand hours. But it just seems like you want to feel valued for something in you. This seems like a basic human need. You capture it with precision and I think zillions of people will identify with such moments of self-doubt. I don't think such feels are wrong or bad and I definitely DO NOT think they need curing in any way. I think they are an essential part of being human. Without such instinctive drives how would we ever achieve anything? You write great poetry which chimes with people. Strikes me that such positve creative action is a key to a better person for all who are lucky enough to be able to do it. Imagine the frustration of having the feelings you describe here and not being able to nail them to the page.

[Midnight Rose ~*Anna Ro..]

Very strong, raw emotioned honest write. I can feel all the emotions and self-rage in this piece. I feel like this most days. I'm sure we all can relate to such a great piece as this. Inspiring, marvelous work, Robert.

[Gandré]

Always your dark poetry - such a self-destructive feeling of being lost forever - noone writes this style for you don't offer a solution as a pointe, your seeking man is lost deeply lost looks like forever lost. Great job!!!!

[Brette Medb]

There is no way to really review this piece, it's such a deep part of your soul and the poem screams raw emotion. Your words are both angry and sad yet they are defiant. This shows you want to understand yourself, want to learn from past mistakes. I loved this Robert, I only hope that you can find solace in your life. Great write,


Brette

[bluessadmood]

this is a great write dear friend ,who but did not go through such self probing ,i could feel lots of sadness and depression in your feels ,again lots have felt it ,you see so empty space in you ,i see nothing in me at times ,we are miserable creatures ,we look for something we do not exactly know what it is but we keep looking ,it drives us mad ,turns us more depressed and sad ,but this is life ,i have always knew her to be so stupid and ugly ,i have never felt myself fullfilled but ,little teeny tiny moments then i am lost again as always ,this is great write ,it gave me so much to think of for again this is a great write

[Dezaraye]

Wow.

I really don't know what to say to this piece other than wow ... you cut right to the heart with this one, Robert. I have been in this place so many, many times lately. You capture all aspects of this with perfect clarity.