The Note

Just something that came to me. I hope you enjoy it.

There mingled, intertwined with pocket lint and loose coins

are the words I love you scribbled on a crinkled napkin

A confession, proclamation if you would,

just words on a page to most

but these words mean the world to him

Having found them three days, two hours, and twenty eight minutes

from that moment….when his heart broke a thousand times, a thousand ways

 

The moment he heard you were never coming home

It’s all he has

It’s all that remains of you he holds onto

Carefully he folds it end over end twice

and once more to be safe

Wouldn’t want to let the words of his soul escape

These faded words written in red lipstick, words that won’t erase

 

A heart expressed so simply, so purely, so perfectly in three words

In his head retracing that day

Oh how he begged you to just stay

to waste the day away laying in bed

Seems a lifetime ago, but a lifetime too soon

But a man of his word, promising to love you forever

and that’s exactly what he will do

 

There in his pocket he carries his heart

upon three little words scribbled on a napkin

The words I Love You

It’s all he has left, but it’s enough

for him to wear a smile to hide the tears

Author's Note

Just something that came to me I hope you enjoy it

Reviews

[KayOss]

As usual, you have turned out a very well-written piece. The intense sorrow was so palpable that I can feel tears in my eyes. My heart broke for him, carrying his only reminder of his true love.

I found myself falling into this piece, which is the norm when reading your work. It was delicate and gentle, yet deeply sad and touching. It's hard to combine those aspects, yet you do so beautifully. Well done.

But a man of his word, promising to love you forever
and that's exactly what he will do

By far your most moving lines... These keep floating around in my head. To keep a promise to someone who is no longer around... That's a trait not often seen. It is held in very high regard.

I loved that you wrote this in a way that forced the reader to draw his or her own conclusions. Did she die? Did she leave? Where did she go and why did she leave? Those issues remain unresolved; it's up to the reader. I love pieces that do this. Like life, you didn't wrap this piece up completely, resolving all the issues. There are still some questions that need to be answered. I loved this!

[Destiny]

I did enjoy it. I thought it was a very deep and moving piece. The depth of sorrow grips the reader like a physical force. I had to read it several times, it was that good. Thanx for writing
♥Destiny♥

[Jack]

Sorry I have been away. Just got back into the city. I am glad to see you are still at it. This was so emotionally written. I could feel the feelings and thoughts of what could have happened. Did she die or did she just leave him. It was left open I guess so we as a reader could see whatever background story we wished to see. I enjoyed that. You interact with your reader's imagination so wondrously to give them the chance to get what they need from your words. Very impressive.

[Christina2]

What a piece from the heart, the aching heart, the hoping heart. Terrific share from one who has felt the emotions of the greatness of love and has felt the emotions from the loss of the greatness of love.

[Irfan Shah]

Its fabulous! Could not be better. Just one suggestion:

it might be better to change:

'are the words I love you scribbled on a crinkled napkin'

to:

'are the words 'I love you' scribbled on a crinkled napkin'

[Lucinda Bogart]

This is beautiful....bittersweet. The photograph is perfect. The profound loss bleeds through the page....it speaks of more than just lost love....its speaks to me of the loss of a dear life.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very painfully gripping and intense... when love leaves us bitter and cold we are lft with nothing but bitter sweet memories that we want to last in our minds so the relationship can continue in a way yet we want to forget so the pain can fade... another well written piece my friend.

[Petey]

Your words are both moving and emotional. I truly enjoyed this.

[Annalisa]

This was heartbreaking... I'm the kind of person who when a heart-wrenching moment happens I start to crack jokes, but this one was to serious (to grabbing) for me to start making wise a*s remarks... It was sweet in a horribly painful way... I loved this, and am steeling it for my library... Though I did find a few spots that were a it rough, and they are below... but this was... poignant to say the least and an amazing piece of work.

"are the words I love you scribbled on a crinkled napkin"-------> Consider putting I Love You in italics or quotation marks, the first time or two I read the line I wasn't sure what you were trying to say.

"It's all that remains of you he holds onto"---------AWKWARD, perhaps---------> "He holds onto the little of you that remains"..... actually I don't like that much more than your original words but the line is extreamly awkward.

"Oh how he begged you to just stay"---------to----------> "Oh how he begged you to stay"

[SM Davis]

THIS IS EXQUISITE!!! Robert, I always love reading your writing...this is fantastic! In all areas.

[Collie]

You words are always so moving I just don't know why you always write such sad stuff. But it is just one of the power's of your writing. To capture feelings that are not your own.