I am trying something here. I am going to give the end to a story of sorts and I am leaving it up to your imaginations to allow the rest of the story play in your mind. If you have an overactive imagination like me I think you will like it so here you go.
I await the gallows
the wind in my hair
my eyes fixated stares
upon a hangs man noose
swaying in the breeze
up top the old elm tree
In the morning
there will be mourning
tears in the eyes of strangers
and bystanders
as an innocent man
is sent to meet his maker
I am not without sin
but left wondering
is this how its meant to end
knowing a truth about life
that some are just meant to die
and its just my time
I find a little comfort in
having known love and this
The greatest journey in life
is the distance two strangers
hearts are willing to travel to fall in love
I await the gallows
the wind in my hair
but it is a smile I wear
knowing I am dying for her
the one I loved
the one that loved me
I am trying something here. I am going to give the end to a story of sorts and I am leaving it up to your imaginations to allow the rest of the story play in your mind. If you have an overactive imagination like me I think you will like it so here you go. I hope you
My Review
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"I await the gallows
the wind in my hair
my eyes fixated stares
upon a hang's man noose " ... the beginning is absolutely gripping.
I've always loved letting my own imagination play a part in reading, sometimes reading is boring if we can't do so. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. A big part of reading anything is relating to it and its my opinion, that this is a great way to relate.
"The greatest journey in life
is the distance two stranger's
hearts are willing to travel to fall in love" again you've managed to touch upon something close to my own heart. This profound statement seems simple at first, yet my own experience speaks otherwise, sadly. :+(
wow! i can see why amor and captain wanted to make their poem "the beginning" to this poem. both mesh so well together. very hearbreaking, yet loving! i do have an over reactive imagination so i enjoyed reading this. well done! :)
I just got through reading both this and Amanda's side of the story. It's very eloquent and sad - to me it tells a story similar to "To Kill A Mockingbird"; I see the setting somewhere in South shortly after the civil war. The male character a black tradesman, his lover a white aristocrat's daughter. Their love was forbidden by the aristocratic family, so when an unexplained murder occurs, they blame him. Though evidence is convincing that he is innocent, the all white jury convicts him to the gallows nonetheless. A very haunting tale, that transported me to another place and time. Thanks for posting.
"I await the gallows
the wind in my hair
my eyes fixated stares
upon a hang's man noose " ... the beginning is absolutely gripping.
I've always loved letting my own imagination play a part in reading, sometimes reading is boring if we can't do so. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. A big part of reading anything is relating to it and its my opinion, that this is a great way to relate.
"The greatest journey in life
is the distance two stranger's
hearts are willing to travel to fall in love" again you've managed to touch upon something close to my own heart. This profound statement seems simple at first, yet my own experience speaks otherwise, sadly. :+(
This a wonderful insightful piece, I lie the idea of finishing off the story and leaving it up to the imagination of the reader to make their minds up what happened.
Very cool! This reminds me of the song, "Long Black Veil." That's, of course, if you take the poem literally, which I did. If you don't know the song, check out the version by Dave Matthews Band. You have a very nice picture choice for this poem, too. It makes the whole thing much more creepy! :) There were a few lines that seemed like cliches (meet his maker, not without sin, etc.), which I can see isn't really your usual way of writing, so I wonder whether it was a deliberate decision to suggest a meaning. :) I'll have to think more about that!
Posted 16 Years Ago
4 of 4 people found this review constructive.
Hmmm..Tragic!I enjoyed reading this though,flowed well,and I'm a personal lover of darker topics....I couldnt come up with any afterthought that wouldnt sound completely insane...
I am wondering what led the character to the point that he is going to be executed? My mind can run wild with this, but not sure where to start yet.......but I have a feeling it will be based on the life of the "she" involved.
I like the whole idea of giving us an ending and letting our imaginations run wild. But, maybe after everyone has had a chance to mess with it, I would love to know what you were thinking about that lead this character to this point. It would be a neat evolution to see what others took it as and what you truly intended. Could make a really good contest :)
My name is Robert. I write therefore I feel I am. My words come from my heart, soul, and mind. I write what I feel and see, life is my inspiration. Life itself is art in its purest form. There is noth.. more..