Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings

Trying something a little different. I hope you enjoy

Quarter til three a.m.
The phone rings
My hello answered with tears
and a voice saying
�It�s me dad, Stephen�
I�ve messed up really bad
took all the money you had
about to board a bus to L.A.
I�ve just got to get away
I can�t face my mistakes
Didn�t want to call
But it just felt wrong
not to at least say goodbye
and tell you what was going on

Marcy�s pregnant, she due in June
I tried to get her to leave too
wanted to take care of her
especially with the baby on the way
I thought we would always be together
Said she couldn�t
wouldn�t
didn�t want to be with me
after I got kicked out of school
They found drugs in my locker
I wanted to tell you
but I was too ashamed
Couldn�t bring myself to see the hurt in your eyes
and to know I was to blame

Choking back my own tears
Trying to find the words to say
A lump resting in my throat
I speak
Stephen please don�t go
We can face this together
No matter what you�ve done
You are still my son
and I love you
Come home so we can talk
We can work this all out
If you leave you�ll never know
Just come home son
If you run now
you�ll be running the rest of your life

But dad I feel so lost
I just don�t know if you�ll see me the same
Look at all I�ve done
How could I ever face you again

Son I love you
Just come home
You will always be my son
No matter what you�ve done
Please just come home

Alright dad I�ll come home
Good, see you soon

Phone hangs up
Silence on the other end
Wrong number
it would seem
but
To the right man
I think to myself
I guess I would�ve made a good dad

Author's Note

Trying something a little different. I hope you enjoy

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Wow, this poem is great! This could make an awesome story, too. I liked the way you put the dialogue in the poem and actually made the piece more interesting. The tittle really attrcted me, just so you know. I realized the poem was way better than it, though. The content flows really well. I can see it all happening right in front of me. Pretty sad story. You tricked me, I actually thought he was the real father, a good writer does that. I really liked this poem a lot. Just letting you know, I'm adding it to my library.

[Gary H]

Nice twist at the end. You think of the most interesting concepts and really use your imagination to the full when you are creating. To see the picture of this idea in your head is remarkable in itself, to actually write it is something else.
This is my first read of the evening will be difficult to beat as the most outstanding read!
Brilliant.

[Mz. Rosilyn Vanessa]

This was an awsome piece I enjoyed it alot. Usually, it a woman trying to run away from a mistake she has made. I guess I was wrong about men saying good-bye over the phone. I'm also glad that the father had a soft place in his heart as well. Again, I would like to that this is an awsome piece and an eye opener for me as well about men.

[OceanTropic]

Wow. I love the irony. Although I did get a sense of the ending. THroughout the poem you wrote about how the father was so accepting and forgiving, how he told you he loved you and to come home, and to me this seemed a little bit too good to be true, I guess it was. It's not a bad think, I see it as a bit of forshadowing. But still, I really love the irony. The niceness of the "father" (to me personally) wasn't very realistic, because there wasn't a sense of any anger at all, so the ending didn't surprise me a whole lot, but it was a nice twist. :)
The story itself is very ... I can't say sad, because these things happen, and I can't say common, because it isn't... maybe the right word is that the story isn't a rare one, and how the kid wanted to run away isn't so rare either.

"I guess I would have made a great dad." Love it.

I don't know why, but the quotation marks in "Its me dad, Stephan" confused me for some reason. Maybe if th entire speech was in quotes, or none at all, because you only quoted one line from everything. Maybe for emphasis? It confused me a little bit but maybe I missed the point.

It was very well written. How it was like dialogue, simple to read and so much behind it. I really enjoyed this.

[Floating on the feather..]

This piece is as endearing one. Simply loved it, the emotions entwined here are so perfectly spaced.

A good thought and a good write. You have let your words play again and brought out a wonderful piece. The restlessness of the young son, the helplessness of the father.....the emotions say it all.

Great work. As usual yet another stunning piece of work from your end.

[Natasha Ashway]

I'm blown away by what an absolutely brilliant piece this is!

What an original idea, how amazing a lesson in such a simple story.
It's entertaining and then there's a complete 180, like the whole story gets turned on its side and you get complete inspiration from its few ending lines. Just brilliant.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing, Robert. It's a story to share again and again and again.
Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings... fantastic poem!

[KayOss]

I enjoyed this immensely. It flows so well that I could almost hear the music. I love the ending, as well. The repetition only adds to the musicality of this work. It is a touching subject and a moving treatment of it. You did a wonderful job, here. Sometimes, trying new things can have wonderful results. This is an example of that. Thanks so much for sharing.

[Julie Dant]

I think you've figured out by now that we DID enjoy...;0) The surprise at the end was beautifully writtend and thought out. I am amazed by that ability to look ahead in writing. Just one fantastic write! ;0)

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I was thinking as i read this that you would make a good dad.
The poem/story is realistic and happens .. i know a few people who have tried running
from their mistakes..... this is a heartfelt poem and one i hope a mother or father would heed should their son
or daughter say these words to them.. lovely writing.

Chloe
xoxo

[Belinda Rice]

wow you should write this as a book this was making me cry and not alot of them do it but i guess cause i have a sister thats made so many mistakes she just lleft her kids and everyone behind and we never here from her........i thank you for sharing this i loved it .....belinda

[The Outlaws' Song]

I'm speechless...i still have to figure out the mixture of feelings your writing brought into my heart. One thing i know for sure--it made it clear for me once again how important parents are in our lives and how infinite and unconditional their love for us, their children, is. Congratulations. And thank you for sharing!! Kudos