To My She's Out There Waiting

You hold me up when I am down.

You carry me to safe passage.

You are the Yin to my Yang.

You complete me.

 

I want to lose myself in a moment with you.

Get lost in your eyes.

To be transfixed by your smile.

I want to be hypnotized by your words.

 

I want to feel you,

as your essence engulfs me,

while your sweetness explodes my mind.

I want to get lost in you.

 

Take us on a fantastic journey.

A journey of truth, light, and love.

Take us hand in hand,

To our happily ever after.

 

Love is our journey.

Hold on tight.

This is going to be good.

Soon I will find you.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Altho you've expressed many loving & thoughtful descriptions of longing in your poem, I couldn't help but notice that the narrator is telling the beloved about all the things THE OTHER PERSON could contribute, but there's no mention of what the narrator might be wanting to do in reciprocation. This unbalanced picture speaks volumes becuz of what's been left out.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I met a lovely man years ago. Unfortunately, he was divorced; and his wife had cheated on him. To say that he was decimated would be an understatement. Our relationship didn't work out because he was still broken, and he was waiting for someone to come into his life and make him happy. That's what stands out to me about this poem.

You want her to hold you up when you are down. You want her to carry you to safe passage. You want her to take you on a fantastic journey. You want her to take you to your happily ever after.

It seems awfully one-sided. As I told Danny, you are responsible for your own happiness. You can't expect anyone else to come into your life and make you happy. That's an impossible burden to place on someone else.

You must love yourself and be happy with who you are before you can offer anything to anyone else.

There is an apparent emotional disconnect in what you are seeking vs. what you are offering.

[V]

A lovely and somehow soothing poem on finding love which sounds like right and true love. Most people long for it, I think.

[V]

After reading it again, I have to mention that "be bedeviled" reads a tad clumsy, my tongue tripped over it a little, despite this small hitch, I love the line about the eyes, I totally agree :)

[JBoone]

Thank you for both comments. I will look at that line and see what I can do.

[V]

You're welcome. I'm glad you follow my advice.

[JBoone]

Thank you for offering it up.

[V]

My pleasure.

[JBoone]

I appreciate it.

[V]

I see that you have changed it. Reads better now. A lovable piece.

[JBoone]

Thank you for the advice.

[V]

You're welcome.

[Sumo]

Beautiful, I'm not sure I still have hope but this does reflect my dreams very well.

[JBoone]

Thank you very much.

[Nisreen]

Living a life of companionship is a bliss
Being with this one person that harmonizes your vary soul
makes you feel alive

we all believe in that other half ......

[JBoone]

Thank you very much.

[GalaxyGhost]

I love the flow of the poem and its complimentary words. You definitely have a talent for romantic poems!

[JBoone]

Thank you very much.

[JayceeC]

This is a lovely expression of feeling of hope and love. It's open and honest.

[JBoone]

Thank you very much.

[GreenShoes]

This poem is really lovely, and the title definitely caught my eye. I'll just throw in my opinion, and it's just that, my opinion. I try to keep periods to a minimum when I write a poem, they are lines after all, not sentences. But I think this poem is really well done. :)

[JBoone]

Thank you and good point.

[Aphy!]

Ah that longing for that special someone. How their presence alone makes you happy and feel complete. I honestly love love and I loved reading this. Really short and sweet piece!
Aphy

[JBoone]

Thank you so much.

[Ardra]

Very nicely written :) enjoyed reading it...

[JBoone]

Thank you so much.