Insomnia

A short wherein I describe the things that keep me awake at night.

Some faction of my mind is a masochist; it wakes up whenever the rest of me attempts to sleep. It continuously forces me to picture an elderly, deranged woman from a movie I recently watched, Shutter Island. Her eyes are bloodshot and red-rimmed, as I pass she looks up and smiles then slowly raises a finger to her lips and hushes me. My description fails to capture her chilling air, suffice it to say that she makes sleeping difficult. In addition to being frightening it’s frustrating. It’ as if that portion of my mind is trying to be spiteful in scaring the rest of me. The woman isn’t an important character, she doesn’t do anything truly frightening, and her on-camera time amounts to about ten seconds.  Of course, I don’t take the spite lying down. By the time I’ve imagined squeezing that portion of my mind into a bug-like shape and holding a blow torch to it I can usually fall asleep.

                 I know, it isn’t “healthy” to imagine my mind in a divided state, let alone incinerating those divisions, but I embrace the “if you fear that you’re crazy you probably aren’t” brand of logic to reassure myself. Of course, that reassurance kills its own source… when I contemplate my sanity the thoughts in my head become so convoluted that I find myself wishing I hadn’t started so I’ll cut that train off. I do find it interesting though, humorous even. My mind has gone haywire in too many ways to count. It seems to misinterpret the darkness of nighttime for some emptiness that needs to be filled with anything but sleep…I can’t even be unconscious correctly. 

Reviews

[aine]

The movie is one of my personal favorite.
And I. Kind of like the way you wrote this entire thing.