Sauntering Stars

Sauntering stars
Waning wilderness
Ranting in a wave of death beset by shards of memory

Where
Remissive tongues and navels do not bestow much meaning
And indolent magic does not cease to not feel.

Gaining speed in a tumble; falling toward the sun.

criss-crossing injunctions, repeating; rambling toward a goal.

 

Savor the glare of the day     and        the dark of the night.
In the heat of the river     and      the cold of the grave
Relish in the Deep so onward may you seek some destiny
Perpetually flying over trees
in dreams.

Reviews

[koty bell]

Terrific write... Good stuff..very sophisticated and deep writing u have here

[Androglossia]

One of the questions that has confused mankind over the years is where the soul go after death. Does the soul simply vanish or remain on earth as a wandering energy with flashes of memory from his lifetime? Just like electricity, or the wind. Here, you expressed an afterlife in which the soul is directly in harmony with nature searching for that unkown goal/truth. Well, what we do when we leave the physical world will never be known with absolute certainty until our time comes. Until then we must take into consideration all the possibilities and choose the one that makes sense to us the most. This is an exquisite write, Jaz.

[Jazmen]

Hi Maryanne, thank you very much. I am glad you are still around, Lately my writing has been focused a lot of death - but I think it's a necessary phase. I am really appreciative of your review - thanks for the compliments.

[Beck Louise]

Your use of vocabulary in this is brilliant. It's difficult to really add much to the reviews already written, only that I really did enjoy reading this, well done :)

[MoriartyMesa]

I think I had said this once before, but am not too sure. This would work wonders on stage.

[Clockwork]

It seems that every time I read your work, I see stars and galaxies, places that are generally not here or now. In essence, I'm taken on a journey into a realm that has greater permanence than we as human in our current forms will ever know. Getting back to the poem, I think it is an invitation to step out of our cloistered lives in this stream of consciousness, and find the destiny you speak of in the final lines of the poem.

I think the bit about the indolent magic also suggests that we need to push further. Small rituals that are not done with a grasp of the deep do not advance us in our dreams. They tie us to narrow cycles of thought in this life, and make imprints on our consciousness in the next.

However, I think there is some celebration of the life we lead now. I find that in the first two lines of the fifth stanza. Those lines call us to celebrate what is beautiful and what engages our deeper senses about the world. There is a wellspring of joy there. However, the last lines of the piece push us to find an access point into infinite truth. Those lines are my favorite:

Relish in the Deep so onward may you seek some destiny
Perpetually flying over trees
in dreams.

I hope I'm in the ballpark with what I have said.

Also, you have a lovely reading voice.

[Jazmen]

Incredible, thank you for your review. Maybe it takes a real outsider's ear or mind to give some ideas definition. To me, it was not vague even though there are many things between the lines.. To you, well you heard it too.. and I don't think I could have explained it like you did. You're very thoughtful and you seem to grasp concepts quickly of many things I think are interesting or important.. it's refreshing to say the least.. and again, incredibly thoughtful of you to review in detail like that. Thanks again

[Clockwork]

You are very welcome. I really enjoy your work because it is so expansive and it has such a transcendent nature. I have studied some Indian philosophy and cosmology in college, and I think that really helped with the explanation of things. Your quite welcome for the review. Any time someone can unlock the door to the deep it is a special occasion, and I have to say that I feel at home. The best we can do is offer ourselves and our time, and realize that we are never alone.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

I like the vocabulary. I am intrigued by the use of a double negative at the end of the second stanza that translates to "...indolent magic does cease to feel." It seems like a bit of encouraging whimsy at the end. Tell me, what does it mean to you?

[Jazmen]

you inspired me to do a spoken word so it can be better understood. I can't explain much more. It's enthusiastic about the whimsical, yes, and about the failings and inevitable endings of earthly realities. It's hard to describe.
I made this recording tonight after I tried to think of what to tell you it meant to me. All I could do is say it out loud for you. It has little enthusiasm for realities but more for the goodness of humanity..somewhere out there. or in here.
Thanks for the inspiration, this may be how it's meant to be heard:
https://soundcloud.com/outherein/sauntering-stars

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

RE: The soundcloud clip... I like it! :) ... perhaps a tiny bit less reverb and a bit more up-front presence/focus for the spoken word. Since you are one of the very, very few people on here that seems interested in both the written and audio aspects of this stuff I wonder if, when you have a moment, you would listen to this play set and give me your impressions. http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/ufoauthor/1177641/

Now, sometimes I have the server down (playing around, you know) and if that's the case just shoot me a WC message/mail and I'll bring it up. Thanks! :)

[B-poet]

Great imagery, and very well written. I liked the overall theme, tone, and poetic flow for this compelling read. Great work. :)

[Jazmen]

Thank you! I appreciate your reviews, always. I appreciate that you took the time once again. I will be sure to do the same.

[Jazmen]

I recorded this tonight for this poem and wanted to share with you too.
https://soundcloud.com/outherein/sauntering-stars