I have the grey on me
Perhaps it's the sky or this throw, the bed or the walls or the breeze-
It’s like comfort, the grey , and I love it, for it warms me,
it’s pale and dusted, gleaming. yet still. and opaque. Like silver.
I sit on this throne of grey.
Shrouded in the midst of the tip toeing day.
And the bells
that rang in the towers
clanged, hollow and old
Mysteriously groaning,
As I passed on my bicycle, riding down the road.
A woman, whom had aged tirelessly, moved fragilely,
In a velvet, red robe, she stepped so lightly.. And she clutched her purse and hood so tightly,
In the wind, I watched her.
And rode passed her smiling.
For the children nearby this woman, so frail and old,
Were happily exclaiming, pointing at the bells in amazement, as they tolled.
And I threw up my hood
And dreamed of a peaceful world.
Much like what I saw
Simple and just.
Like an innocence forever dawns
As each inhale is taken in good thought.
It’s a place I’ve visited, and even often see
There are the passing nights
Where the city seems to sleep so soundly.
For I do.
And I dream lucidly of such a music
That deafens the war, and see, I do not
tug nor do I pull
I Simply wade in the gales of the midnight moon
In a room with silver walls.
Sometimes, I just get lucky. I think this might be one of those times. What I get from this piece is nothing less than a sense of deft, atonal rapture. There are lyrical notes emerging from beneath the gray overlay that keep just ahead of the mind's eye at a wheel-turning pace via tempos of prosaic color opposites. I wonder, randomly, if the the use of cyan with the word "red" has further enhanced the dextro-levorotory sensations of balanced dizziness that each unseparated stanza tattoo upon themselves with hidden perforations; made with the rounded tip of the phrasing palette knife. I've read similar things, snippets of Whitman and others... and this too has a sense of deep sensory cultivation and respect for observation that bears itself out in the balanced calculus of the hidden forms. A superior work that should be read by more, many more... and in the best times and traditions of solemn retreat.
The human condition is on full display here, in what the speaker sees in her own mind in comparison to the world she sees around her...a great piece, well done.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Hey, thanks for the kind review! I really appreciate it.
For me, the heart of this poem is..`Like an innocence forever dawns as each inhale is taken in good thought.` I have an image of a painting - seemingly of an ordinary street scene - or a memory, conjuring the peace of another time in the minds eye and reliving that comfort from the greyness of moonlight. I love this poem. P.
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I think that line is the heart too. Thank you for taking the time to review this poem, Pete; I'm pl.. read more I think that line is the heart too. Thank you for taking the time to review this poem, Pete; I'm pleased to understand you appreciate it.
Sometimes, I just get lucky. I think this might be one of those times. What I get from this piece is nothing less than a sense of deft, atonal rapture. There are lyrical notes emerging from beneath the gray overlay that keep just ahead of the mind's eye at a wheel-turning pace via tempos of prosaic color opposites. I wonder, randomly, if the the use of cyan with the word "red" has further enhanced the dextro-levorotory sensations of balanced dizziness that each unseparated stanza tattoo upon themselves with hidden perforations; made with the rounded tip of the phrasing palette knife. I've read similar things, snippets of Whitman and others... and this too has a sense of deep sensory cultivation and respect for observation that bears itself out in the balanced calculus of the hidden forms. A superior work that should be read by more, many more... and in the best times and traditions of solemn retreat.
This poem is beautifully crafted, I say. It has a gentle disposition, almost contagious. I especially admire your way of molding the range of your words from something minor to long-lasting crave for something big and important. Beautiful.
Studying Science and Philosophy
Claim no religion and I have no categorizable political views.
I am interested mostly in the new science sociocyberneering
(The Venus Project + Jacque Fresco)
.. more..