Mumbling All Alone

..there are the walks made of broken stones..

What might the listless path provide us

A feral cat ate a termite. The termite ate his wooden heart.

The cats tail coiled around his feet

And steadied him for an infinite display for me

There he sits on the stone steps

In a contemplative stance of feline sorts

A machine heart, monotone, it blunders through the sky, in a cyclone of sound, ripping as I write, it's frequency tearing my thought process apart

So does the conditioning work

It’s silent.

The black hound juxtaposed, he stares at me.

The cat came to life and killed a dragonfly.. there he sits on the warm stone steps, still as a stone himself.

The tips of the trees are bending, and the memory of heavy wind renders me-

The whipping of rain on my cheek, remembering,

let me take you on a journey,

while I have no where particular to go,

only to see the different kind of light depicted.. the horizon’s silver-gold make up is rarely noted by those who walk before it.

There they go just walking. 

There they are attempting to feel they're worthy. there I've lost my knapsack and my leading, not lost, just faltering.

Rare is it that I stay connected on the  journey

So out the door, the siamese did sneak, and the dead one shrieked, I heard, and the cross eyed one flopped to the grass as if she were obeying command.

I feel the woman and her green eyes staring at me. I felt the purposeful ones staring at me too. As does the cat with his ears pulled back.

And as does the crow that sits on the wire down the road. Beware of the rodent being sneaking through the stones.

Stabbing blinding eyes with his many swords. Mumbling all alone.

And the fast rolling tires, the sound rushes through the air. Like a whisper of a sage coughing out smoke.

As I ran, the beads jangled in my hair. And heavy bone and metal cracked me in the teeth.

How could the sky seem like 10 colors at once, and the silhouettes of trees

not be breathtaking to all of my kind with no need to be explained;

Walking step in step, Like ghosts. Not to keep the time nor waste it.

In this cycle I'm not looking at my hands, just doing it natural

Shadows and worms

like sunflowers and birth here.

 Thine power within is thy power to behold forevermore.

Whilst my bones have movement, whilst my flesh decay, will thine own thoughts be weightless forevermore

Reviews

[Dr. Wood ?]

cannot pretend to understand all of it but this is brilliant observation and imagery...quite simply put it is writing the perfect poem whilst pondering on what to write....I love the final verse that ties it all together..brilliant

[B-poet]

Very gripping and vivid. The deepth of the message within the your poem is it's greatest strength to capture the reader. Great work :)

[cilla]

For some reason the opening made me think of the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland who disappeared while his smile remained. An interesting thought as this was the beginning of a stream of consciousness filled with anthropomorphic characters ... and surely a ride down the rabbit hole. And, of course, the beauty of this piece is that like Alice it can be enjoyed on many levels ... from the very literal to the subconscious symbolic. Interesting that about midway you wrote, " Rare is it that I stay connected on the journey." which implies a sense of self-discovery that remains out of your control. And the ending seems to be acknowledgement and deference to a higher power ... " breathtaking to all of my kind with no need to be explained why".

So, is it, "I have seen a cat without a smile but never a smile without a cat."? or simply a daydream that somehow magically appeared before you? And what does it truly matter? It is one of those poems you tend to return to again and again and each time find new that was missed before.

[Laura Maidah]

Line breaks all wrong. Thematically hot. Biblical language at end is bipolar in tone. o f*****g weird. IMHO. Don't get butthurt

[Jazmen]

first of all, it's not biblical in ANY way. using the words "Thy" "thine" "thee" etc.. does not make something biblical, so.. please.
And secondly don't tell me not to get "butthurt" after giving such an ugly review.
It's cute that you say in your "humble" opinion, but I feel like this was not humble nor constructive at all, I feel like it was kind of bashing a work of art.. I'm not a writer who tries to be f*****g weird. This all means something, A great deal actually. So I'm not keen on what you prefer to read, I don't care, I just feel like you should be aware that to a poet who works hard to stay true to herself believes that this sort of review is tasteless. and your opinion seems uneducated and rotten. If you had a mind to read between the lines instead of maybe, I dont know, what are you doing? Reading each word in a literal sense and not trying to relate to the poem at all? Just seeing what is before you as nothing but words and some idiotic person at home typing away about wooden cats and god knows what else you don't understand.
Line breaks? Too f*****g weird? f**k off.

[Laura Maidah]

I'm humble in that I'm not saying I'm right. It is my f*****g opiinion. Oh and i't s a sexy a*s review by a rocking hot dude chick. How am I dood? Id rrather be a smashing beast than a Fuckign DOOOD>


Anyways luvya


oh and thy thine and thee is Shakespearean slash BIbilical because of "Amen in thy power forever and forever

go to writersbeat.com and ask why maidahl was banned for ten days and curse out redlorry.Okay thanks

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

absolutely excelent use of vocab though I feel you sacrificed your rythm. It was still very interesting to read and I really did enjoy it! :-)

[Jazmen]

thank you for taking the time to read and review this one. I agree.. I feel some of the rhythm has been sacrificed, but.. so be it I guess. Maybe someday it will evolve with editing. Thanks again, Hannah, I appreciate your kind words.

[Beck Louise]

This is so, in depth. You write with such passion, and so professionally. It makes it so much more enjoyable to read when the poem is so deep, you really have to focus and truly read it. You're obviously a natural poet.

[Jazmen]

Thank you, your review carries a lot of weight for me, thanks a lot for making me feel good about this piece, I appreciate you taking the time to bid me your thoughts, friend.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

this is gonna take me several more reads to fully try to grasp it and start picking it apart. I've read it a few times already...love the transformations you go through in this...the creatures are pretty symbolic and interesting..the last line is epic and resonates with you more powerfully than the monotonous machine heart from stanza two. the commenter below suggested the monster of inspiration, and after I read that it started to open up and make sense of certain elements of the different transitions. I found it to be intellectual as well as visceral. You have an obvious connection to the earth and all it's sensory mysteries and fascinating sensory experiences. you paint them well in the spoken word..alot of this seems really methodical and specific and I wanna sit here and pick it apart but I missed my store cigarette run and IDK if I can focus..maybe I can. I think it's funny though, that I wrote a line in a poem "as shaman I'm expected to produce a rodent". I can connect with a lot of the earthy tones and imagery in here. You're much more involved in writing and imagining the fantasy landscapes than I though...Lemme just end by saying that if I get lost just enjoying this for all its cool effects and tones before I get to the more pertinent meanings, I think that will be ok. Good stuff Jazmine..the fact people are having trouble reviewing it is a tribute to it's complexity. I'd be embarrased to just say two words on this piece.

[Jazmen]

thanks John, I love reading your reviews. I appreciate that you take the time to attempt pick things apart. Yes, symbolic, like you say about the animals. Basically it's all a symbol, yeah? For weightless, uncensored thought. like a journal entry spat up from the vortex of the mind.
whatever.. I'm happy to see that you've somewhat enjoyed my thought process.. however confusing it may be.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

somewhat?!

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

haha just being a jerk..yeah I will be back to say more

[Jazmen]

haha, you know what I mean. "somewhat" as in, it's hard to understand and I know that.. so what you've articulated you enjoyed about it is very nice to hear. haha

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

like I said, just being a jerk..you're awesome. I'm drunk, but I wasn't when I reviewed you

[Androglossia]

A poet's mind. Your poem seems to imply that a poet does not have the power to choose. That it is powerful emotion that triggers a flow of thoughts jot down on a piece of paper. And the poet gets inspired when she experiences something strong and disturbing in her mind or rather in her soul. When the divine inspiration comes, nothing else crosses the mind:)

As what kublakhan27 said in his comment on one of my writings, "good writers can give earth-shattering significance to the most minor things," and I think this is the very heart of this piece. Lastly, one very interesting fact I noticed is that what is written then cannot be remembered afterwards unless the poem is read by the writer herself or at least it's what usually happens to me.

But then again, this poem could be interpreted in many ways and whatever the truth or the thoughts you were trying to convey as you wrote this are hidden within layers and layers of words and metaphors leaving the audience to thier own interpretation.

This piece is original and is appealing to the intellect.

[Jazmen]

I love your review on this, well put, friend.
This poem was originally written by just typing whatever came to mind, even if it didn't make sense at all.. then it was formed into a more sensible, symbolic sort of piece..
And yeah, it's hard to remember word for word, this poem definitely has the element of free writing and it's hard to remember in what order things come, it's difficult to memorize.
Thanks so much for taking the time to review this poem, it means a lot to me, I greatly appreciate your kind words and your thoughts on it.