Dead in the Den

Angling for penetration.

 

 

The drum’s vibrating the walls

And the primordial war horn it wails.

Satyricon whispers from the misty forests breaching.........

It wails

It wails I sing.

And again

Thrusting toward me savagely.

I'm sneaking through my smoke.

Divinity-spiking in the clean air;

Tis the greatness of howling beasts.

Wild and beautiful outhere.

 

Begin inhaling the moon.

 

 I sing. I coo. They’re destiny, their doom.. And the darkening of my wave ensues, as I know

I am

Unalike in certainty and ruined

I find myself naked

Still believing  

I have

got a place ideal in the wildness of wolves,

 

A greater heart that flows outside the bones.

Waltzing timidly down the street without echoes

An ember among the massive fire of the world.

And steadily I resist begging

at the feet of the cryptic unknown.

Barbaric I coo

Outhere.

Ensured of the thick weight of my skull

Lobbing.. wrists throbbing. Neck pulsing

Take a moment to bleed.

Here it is impending. The hierarchy death blows obliviously among thee.

 

A beating drum, hollow,

subdue

A scratching, red eyed,  inferno.

The silk of knowledge it’s all over me and I’m

still squishing out the life.

Dying in the den.

 

Cannot get cozy with my back on the bed

Still,

In the den

Suffocating.

With a breath too heavy to breathe.

 

It transcends me..

It transcends me..

 

In the midst of the inevitable, unseen end

and my faltering, it's all leaving

me like a hermit.

Like a wise old wizard

From storytellers land I whisper.

It coos

And the ritual remains inscribed

Melting like chocolate down my throat.

Spirit spitting--

It’s

Splattered wildly in my art.

                             Rubbing the wound

Way out there,

The daylight birthing..

Balance for the weak ones..

Allowed

my ability of movement

to get this human

hair off my tongue.

Hollow me out

Banded and shy,

Brute, fragile, brightened, dimmed fuckall lost with no ideas in the rhythmical ends..

She said to begin inhaling the moon

Just waiting for the cue

Queue glory

One moment, hold on.

Ah, the fire burns

And the liquid cools

The drums they echo

And the voices they soothe

The slapping of skin whacks among the rattles of rice

No deadintheden

Her trembles enticing the

hoarse whisper manifesting

In the thick of the pines..

 

 

Took a moment

The dwarf is distracting.. he sits so structurally flawed

His grappling stories boring

Pitched high in tune

Sinking on the moistening bark

He seeps a doubtless sigh

beneath the stars

He fluttered into the flame,

And the devil snarled from the sky

Out back

Throat exposed

There's a new likeness nearby

Yellow eyes arrive.

Author's Note

More than nonsense..

Reviews

[Ana Soo]

holy s**t! this is fantastic. amazing imagery. dark and haunting.

[eeoopig]

A nice, strange and surreal piece! It had a good flow. Sounds like a scary dream I once had...Anyway good job! :D

[Laura Maidah]

one of your betters

[Sam]

Great write, I love the way it was written. Great song choice too. :)

[MoriartyMesa]

First off, if I have yet to say, "get the hell on a stage and make this a stage piece!" than I shall say it now. This was made for a stage piece, the wording is perfect for something of a spoken word or stage presence. The only thing I would suggest is this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fFo-WZsm5Q
the rest is smashing!

[Jazmen]

oh my god thanks for that link!! holy hell every time I watch the lost boys I always get excited when that song plays. it's so rad. I forget about it though. Ah, downloading now. f**k yeah.
I like and appreciate your enthusiasm, thank you. haha.

[Pax Analog]

Surreal fever dream of ancient memory, marrow of blood myths, music of magic animal awe, maw of birth/death lingo lingering. . .

[Jazmen]

thank you for your review, it's always appreciated.

[Jazmen]

I like how you narrow your take down to the point. You pick up the depth and give it a name in all your reviews, at least with my poems. thanks again Paxxy :)

[Pax Analog]

You're always welcome, & thanks for noticing that I do indeed cut to the core, Jazmen. The heart of poetics is the heart of Great Spirit. Paxxy -- cute! ;-)

[Androglossia]

Ah, sorry it took me so long but anyway, I've read this poem 3 days ago and I found this write very unusual, remarkable, even surprising. The imagery you painted here is cruel with unusual beauty in it. This is an epic fantasy, well at least for me. Your writing has the world’s most brilliant setting, I can easily visualize it-gothic, the character- dangerous yet it shows a hint of fragility.

Characters in fiction stories and poetry should be exaggerated. So they do things we never would in the real world. They should be over the top. And you did it on this piece, you have successfully exaggerated the narrator's and the wolf's traits as well as their emotions through your linguistic style and pace, You have let them leap from your page and become real.

Bottomline is you have successfully created powerful drama that made this piece quite an achievement.

[Jazmen]

thank you for all the kind words. I'm really happy to hear it reached you and gave you such visions.. I always hope that it's understood by the readers as much as it is understood by me, so I thank you again for boosting my ego. haha. for real, I do appreciate that you took the time to read and review this piece, it does mean a lot. Namaste

[Androglossia]

You're very welcome! It's only reasonable that such work and achievement should raise one's morale.

[cilla]

What an interesting piece this is. Filled with haunting (haunted?) imagery and wonderful metaphors (The daylight birthing) this reads smoothly. I think it is a sense of something spiritual that creates an ominous foreboding in your words. The wolf, of course, holds its own special place in mythology ... something you've really picked up on here. I liked "deadintheden" but not the use of "tis" and "thee" which are a bit out of place in this contempory poem.

So, in the beginning ... Satyricon is a reference to the Scandinavian heavy metal band ... yes?

Well, this is a totally well written poem. You've captured elements both large and small and presented a compelling case for the wolf. You "begin by inhaling the moon" ... beginning transcedence ... and end ready and waiting for the kill.

Excellent! And I love the music you posted ... Draugurinn?

[Jazmen]

Oh thank you for your awesome review, I'd like to write a longer reply when I have time. Draugrinn, yes, isn't that track wonderful? I really think it is. Very inspiring to me. There's other bands like them too, if you like it you should check out Wardruna, maybe you've already heard of them. Gaahl from Gorgoroth has a part in that project. It's ver soothing and primitive sounding. Ancient and Norwegian.
And no, the Satyricon reference isn't there for real, of the black metal band, I love the word. I was thinking satyr might fit better in that line.. but haven't thought about it too much. So maybe it is my affinity for that band that keeps it as Satyricon. I'm a fan.
Thank you for your kind words, again I'll try to write more tomorrow morning

[cilla]

I think Draugrinn is awesome ... but had some trouble finding their music. Finally found them on YouTube and downloaded a bunch. btw ... I forgot what I wanted to say when I asked about Satyricon. The whole opening sequence was beautiful ... Angling for penetration ... Satyricon whispers ... That's why I asked if you meant the band ... music ... whispering. I think you should leave Satyricon because it just adds another layer of mystic to the poem. Once again ... I really thought this was great work. Kudos to you!

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlande..]

I read this two mornings ago but I got distracted before I could review
and then very drunk...very very drunk
and I'm far too out of sorts to express my impression of this properly
sober but out of sorts, but I will attempt to say something useful
each poem has its own type of power
and this one's power is unclassifiable (wow apparently that's actually a word)
I know from having already read this, that is if I were to read it in my current state
it would break me
this really wraps its teeth into you and clenches and drags you to some magical place
in a trauma induced stupor
so yeah, note to self, when Jazmen is in her element, watch the f**k out and run for the hills
in other words, great job at creating this experience

[Jazmen]

Thanks, yo! I'm trying to illustrate a proper vision and keep myself out of it but it's tough.. still working on the fictional creativity, (right now i'm too stoned to think of a better way to state what I mean so whatever).. I get lost in nonsensical thoughts when writing of course, it's hard to stick to the point, the first version went off into too deep of a dreamland, .. I think after the revision it feels more real to me. Sticks to the unclassifiable(:)) essences it should Again! thank you for your review of this one.. I'm happy to hear it reached you, my friend.

[Shmoke-Sifted Heftlander]

I'm gonna have to try this again after sundown..you're most welcome...looking fwd to it.