Unhealthy mistake

Sitting on the verge of a bed with my back

hunched passed my knees as my head tilts wile

I stare into space

 

Holding a bottle of Jack like my son with one

hand and balancing a cigarette between two of

my fingers in the other

 

I just had sex for all the wrong reasons; not even

deep breaths and several pitiful attempts of

self justification can rescue me

 

I turn my head as she removes herself from 

the covers of self loathing just to get my last glimpse

from behind

 

No matter how you look at it, eyes of lust will

always follow, but there’s no way I can look from

the front for the fear of complete self destruction

 

I can hear the sounds of silence as she slowly dresses

and leaves to rejoin humanity along with my dignity

 

The money’s by the door are the only words that are

spoken and the only words entrenched in memory    

 

  

Reviews

[emmajoy]

An honesty that rarely finds its way into the appreciation of how a piece is written rather than the crass 'wow, oh my'. You've written with verve and sincerity, certainly no frills or fun here but it's truth therefore, it packs a punch, same time, touches its nose at polite society.

Great stanza, ' Holding a bottle of Jack like my son with one ~ hand and balancing a cigarette between two of ~ my fingers in the other ..' interesting reference to a son .. a clue to the place outside this tableau.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

True, some mistakes can be unhealthy... but in the end the experience far exceeds the mistake if the lesson is learned, or something changes the course of your life in a positive way. This has a very raw, honest appeal that makes a Statement. Nicely done!

[Honey54]

drew a very vivid picture...I can feel the regret in the words of this piece...NICELY DONE MY FRIEND

[ghost writer]

an interesting and cleverly constructed piece..the regret etched painfully into each line..the final stanza the nail..nicely done

[Coyote Poetry]

When we are young. Take many chances. The temptation of life is sweet and can be bittersweet also. I like the story and the wisdom learn. Thank you for a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[SuicidePact.]

I felt such strong feelings whe reading thi, it was like I was there.

[Kristina Moulaison]

I like this a lot!
"I just had sex for all the wrong reasons; not even
deep breaths and several pitiful attempts of
self justification can rescue me"
Anything this honest is a joy to read!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

The sheer grit and unapolagetic nature of the prose excites and delights in equal measure, well done, good read.

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

I won't mince words, like some american idol judge would say, this poem has swagger! And in times like these, a bit of swagger is important, it's a good trick and I read this with laugher and a greater comprehension of the human psyche for it.

It was lyrical in its absurd realism, aburd because we've all so been there, the third stanza just put a winning stamp on this for me.

[Marie]

This is a gritty little poem...I like its lack of pretension.