Vague

Giving myself quizzical looks

Looks of distaste and confusion

Hands shuddering at the sheer lack of

Consciousness behind the actions perused

in an invisible impetuous movement  

 

Forgetting how to smile seemed all too easy

 

Remembering those actions seems like a hesitant

walk to a destination which will never be reached

 

The sense of futility surrounding my mind

ends up with the infinite stare at hazy memories

of you slamming the door before I sleep at night

 

Tears slowly erode my pillow and yet 

it shows no sign of objection to absorb them

Reviews

[Mbali]

Nicely written< very emotional.

[Renée]

How sad this piece is..."hazy memories of you slamming the door before I sleep at night" how those things linger in our mind... and your part about the pillow.. captured that moment perfectly...

[Art Sun]

a sad poetic view...emotionally sad...nicely written...

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

Strong words, great imagery. Well-written piece. Nicely done.

[Who Cares]

A rather short piece, This is beautiful but as Victorious said the last two lines don't make musch sense. I love the first stanza, your words are beautiful and there is a lot of emotion behind those lines. "Forgetting how to smile seemed all too easy" I love that line. I can relate that to myself in so many ways and This poem just hit home for me. Nice job

[Mockingbird]

great imagery. full of despair that is relatable. great job.

[Victorious]

Dear Jayren

This line is confusing me, "As the tears slowly erode at my pillow/ while it reluctantly absorbs them." I suppose it's the word "erode" which means to wear away by natural agents so I do not see the connection between these two lines. I have to say I don't really understand this poem. Is it meant to be a memory in the mind or a dream maybe? Perhaps remembering a past that's cloudy and in "distaste and confusion."

However I must say my favorite lines that intruiged me the most would be these,

"The sense of futility surrounding my mind/ ends up with the infinite stare at hazy memories/of you slamming the door before I sleep at night."

Thank you for sharing!

Sincerely Victorious

God bless you!

[Amila Jay]

A very nice poem :-))

[Coyote Poetry]

A emotional ride in the poem. Our mind worked in strange ways. Can lead us away from bad thoughts or bring them to us.
"Remembering those actions seems like a hesitant
walk to a destination which will never be reached"
Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[MoriartyMesa]

some of this reminds me of something by Peter Sellers but I cant remember, nice job.