Suppression

Ari has the unique gift of being able to project whatever her mind creates on the outside world. Ian thinks that she shouldn't be allowed to live in a fantasy.

“Don’t let the monster escape!”

            “Let the little demon burn.”

Smoke stung Ari’s eyes as she crawled down the hallway to her mom’s bedroom. Between the fierce red glare of the flames and the thick clouds of smoke, she could barely make out the walls surrounding her. She could still hear the men shouting outside, over the sounds of the flames eating through her home.

“Mommy?” She called out. Her voice was raspy from inhaling so much smoke and ash. “Where are you?” She said over and over. Her entire body ached and her heart beat heavily against her chest. Her throat was beginning to tighten to the point where breathing was painful, but she kept calling.

Ari found her mom’s partially open door and pushed inside. She was getting light-headed, but she fought to keep her eyes open.

“Mommy?” She choked out. There was no answer, except the crackles of the flames devouring the walls and the yells of the men outside. Ari carefully stood at the edge of her mom’s bed. “Please, wake up.” She fisted the covers to pull them off her mom.

 

“Is this a normal occurrence?”

“Yeah, you’ll get used to it.”

Ian looked from the monitors, where Ari still lied shrieking, to Michael. “And we never interfere?” Ian asked.

Michael sighed and lit a cigarette. “Did you even read the file before you accepted this post?” He asked.

Ian shrugged, “I did, but the file failed to mention that the natural was a child. She’s what fourteen? Fifteen? And they said they we were containing her for ‘the safety of the people’ I can’t see her hurting anyone.”

Michael starting laughing, leaning back in his chair. “Kid, she broke the first rule of being an illusionist. She is definitely a danger to everyone in her state.” Michael took a long drag of his cigarette. “Listen, private, do not interfere, and don’t get attached, and you’ll do just fine here. Disobey and you’ll end up just as crazy as her.”

 

“Ari! Ari, wake up, baby!” Ari couldn’t stop shaking, as bolted up off the bed. “Ari, calm down. You were having a nightmare, but you’re alright now; I’m here.” Ari’s mother put her arms around Ari’s thin shoulders and squeezed her tight. “I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you,” she whispered into Ari’s ear.

Ari trembled and didn’t respond to her in any way. Her eyes stayed focused on the walls. They flickered between the emerald wallpaper of her mother’s room to the charred ember red of her nightmare. She could smell the smoke and feel the heat on her skin. She heard the echo of “monster” rebounding off the walls.

“Ari, look at me,” her mother said, but Ari just shook her head, still staring at the walls. Green, then red. Green, then red. Over and over again the flickered. “Ari, why won’t you look at me? What are you afraid of?” her mother asked.

Ari fisted the covers in her hands and took a deep breath. “I’m afraid of what I’ll see,” she whispered.

 

“It’s a shame that cameras can’t catch illusions.” Ian said, staring at Ari, as she talked to the air.

“You’ll get the gist of what she’s seeing eventually.” Michael said around his cigarette. “Besides, I’d rather not know what going on inside her head.”

“Has anyone ever tried talking to her?”

“No we just locked her up without cause.” Michael rolled his eyes. “Of course we tried, you moron. Unfortunately, she has a nasty habit of driving everyone who comes in direct contact with her insane.”

Ian frowned as he looked at Ari crying in what looked like relief and rocking herself back and forth. “She does? I don’t understand how or why she would do that.”

Michael sighed, “How many illusionists have you come in contact with?”

Ian leaned back and stared at the ceiling, “Five or six, but I’ve never met a natural.” Ian started laughing. “Hell, before I heard of this project, I was beginning to think that they were myths.”

“True,” Michael said. “Most illusionists train for years, and yet very few have the power that Ari has.”

“Are naturals that powerful?”

Michael shrugged. “Ari the first one we’ve ever met.”

 

Ari continued to tremble as she stood in the shower. She kept her eyes closed to avoid watching everything flicker between her clean ordinary house and the burning ruins of her dream. Not for the first time, she wished she didn’t have these powers. She wished she didn’t clearly see what was inside her head.

Ari sighed and starting washing her short choppy hair. She couldn’t remember when she cut it like this, because she used to love when her mother would brush out her long hair. For a split second the smell of burning hair, stung Ari’s nose, before she forced her mind to focus on the smell of her shampoo. “I am in control of my mind,” she said aloud. Ari wished more than anything that this were true. If it were she would stop scaring herself with what she saw, what she imagined. She would stop having nightmares that were so real. She would stop scaring her mother, too.

Ari almost started crying. She shouldn’t have pushed her mother away, but she didn’t want to risk seeing her. Her nightmare always ended before she pulled the blanket away, but she couldn’t bare it if her mind finished that projection. She never wanted to see her mother in the fire.

Ari turned to water off and stepped out of the shower. “Maybe, I’ll show her something beautiful tonight to make up for it,” she thought. Her mother always told her that her gift was rare and special. She was never afraid of it, like Ari was. She chose only to see the beauty in what Ari’s illusions could produce.

 

“Michael, why is she here? What brought her to us?” Ian asked.

Michael shot him a look. “Please don’t tell me you’re getting attached.

“I can’t help but feel sorry for her. She’s trapped in a cage and doesn’t even know it.”

Michael stared first at Ian and then at Ari. “She’s a natural. We want to harness that power if we can.”

Ian narrowed his eyes. “So you’re saying we want to make her into a weapon.” Ian balled his hand into a fist and gritted his teeth. “She’s a child.”

Michael didn’t blink, but he took his cigarette out of his mouth. “Ari can create projections that fool your senses. You see, hear, smell, taste, and most importantly feel, what she wants you to. Her powers trick your brain into believing whatever world she has created. If she would stab you with a knife, you’d feel as if you’d been stabbed. If she placed you in the middle of a burning building, you’d feel as if you were burning alive.” Michael grinned sadly at Ian’s pale face. “Imagine what she could do, if she could control her abilities. She could incapacitate everyone around her, without ever touching them.” Michael shook his head and turned back to the screen. “None of that will matter, though, because I don’t believe she’ll ever recover.”

Ian swallowed thickly, feeling more than a little nauseous. “Recover from what?” He finally asked.

Ari laughed as she danced around the living room for her mother. She transformed the living room into a beautiful garden with white roses that rested by a lake with swans preening in the sun and deer drinking at the water’s edge. Her mother giggled and marveled at the detail of Ari’s illusion.

“Show me another, Ari!” She begged. Ari giggled and waved her hand, turning the room into a sea of performers, dancing in unison to an up tempo beat. Ari felt so content watching her mother’s dark green eyes light up with each new place Ari took them. Ari focused her mind to sharpen all the details of her illusion, to truly place them in the middle of her imagination.

Ari’s mother opened her arms and she climbed into them. The dancers and music faded away to show the sun setting on a forgotten valley, with her and her mother sitting on a cliff’s edge. “I love you more than anything, Ari,” her mother said. “You and your gift are so beautiful.” Ari nodded not wanting to say anything, in case the happiness she felt would fade away with her illusions.

 

“You’re just going to leave her like this?” Ian slammed his hands down on the keyboard. “Why didn’t I know about this before?”

“Can’t be helped,” Michael moved the keyboard away from Ian. “She’s dangerous, and we’re not about to let her run about, with her imagination leaking everywhere to screw with people’s heads. Can you imagine the confusion and panic, if people’s worlds were altered to how Ari sees the world?”

Ian gritted his teeth. “Then why aren’t we helping her control it? Get another illusionist in here to train her.”

Michael glared at Ian. “Have you not been listening? She’s stronger than they are. They had to train their whole lives to do what she can do without thinking about it. How would any of them be able to help her?”

“Someone should do something.” Ian stood up and started pacing. “This is wrong.”

“Kid, she’s happy, so why are you so concerned?” Michael asked.

“Happy?” He yelled pointing at her. “She doesn’t know any better! She’s living in a fantasy, in an…”

“Illusion?” Michael cut in. “Remember what I told you? She broke rule one.”

Ian took a deep breath and tried to stop his hands from shaking by stuffing them in his pockets. “What’s rule one?”

“Don’t confuse your illusions for reality.” Michael shook his head. “Kid, she’s created her own reality, and I for one can’t blame her.”

Ian gritted his teeth, but he sank back down into his chair. “This is wrong,” he said. “She’ll never get better like this. Someone needs to help her.”

 

            “Don’t let the monster escape!”

            “Let the little demon burn.”

Smoke stung Ari’s eyes as she crawled down the hallway to her mom’s bedroom. Between the fierce red glare of the flames and the thick clouds of smoke, she could barely make out the walls surrounding her.

“Mommy?” She called out. Her voice was raspy from inhaling so much smoke and ash. “Where are you?” She said over and over. It wasn’t only the heat and the smoke that were making her eyes water.

Ari’s found her mom’s partially open door and pushed inside. She was getting light-headed, and it was getting harder to breathe. Ari could feel her heart beating painfully in her chest as she fought to stay awake.

“Mommy?” She choked out. There was no answer, except the crackles of the flames devouring the walls. Ari carefully stood at the edge of her mom’s bed. “Please, wake up.” She fisted the covers to pull them off her mom, when she felt a hand grab her shoulder.

Ari spun around to see a young man staring at her. “Who are you?” she cried.

“Ari, listen to me,” he said. “My name’s Ian. I’m one of the men in charge of watching you.”

“What do you mean watching me?” She tried to pull away from him, but he held her tight.

“Ari, listen to me. This isn’t just an illusion…”

“How do you know about that?” Ari asked. The flames started closing in around them, blocking of any escape.

“I’m part of a special task force, but that’s not important right now. You need to listen to me,” Ian said bending down to her height. “This isn’t just an illusion, this is a memory.”

“A…a memory?” Ari stuttered out. She looked down at her fist that continued to clutch the blanket. “No, this isn’t a memory. It can’t be.” Ari started crying. “This never happened!” Ari’s entire body started shaking as she sobbed. “This is just a nightmare.” Her eyes slid out of focus. “Not real. Not real.” She chanted over and over again.

Ian grabbed both her shoulders and shook her. “You’re not dreaming Ari. You keep reliving this nightmare for a reason! This happened Ari!” Ian flinched as he felt the flames start to burn hotter around them. “You’ll keep reliving this until you can heal and move on, but you won’t if you pretend it isn’t real,” he shouted at her. Ian shook her harder, when she ignored him and kept chanting. “Listen to me! People were afraid of what you can do, so they came to your home. Ari what they said isn’t true. You’re not a monster or a demon. You’re a natural. You can’t live in the past like this.” He took a deep breath. “I can help you, Ari. I can show you what’s real.” Ian looked straight into Ari’s eyes. Ari’s breathing got faster and more shallow as the stare down continued. The flames spiraled around them as if possessed. His eyes were a deep green with some spots of crimson dotting his right eye. Green and red.

Ari bit him and tore from his arms to spin around. She pulled the covers back and nearly fainted. Her mother lay curled on the mattress burns marring her skin with her eyes open. They looked glassy and the red of the flames danced with the deep green of her irises.

Ari puked on the floor and screamed and cried. When she felt Ian grab her shoulder, she kicked and bit him as he tried to calm her down. Ari suddenly went limp and started giggling. Ian paled as he turned her over and saw her eyes glowing an eerie red.

“Ari?” He hesitantly asked.

“Ian,” she giggled. “Burn with me.”

 

“Commander, I have another one for the asylum,” Michael said lighting up another cigarette. “The girl? She’s fine. I believe she’s watching a sunset with her mother. I don’t know if I’d say she’s a lost cause. Of course, I’ll remain here. And commander please stop sending me people, I’m fine on my own.” Michael hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes as he sighed, but he smiled as he saw Ari giggling happily in her own little world. 

Author's Note

Definitely a work in progress. The idea came from a discussion of suppressed memories, and I decided to try combining that idea with someone(Ari) who could create their own reality.