White Letter Wednesday

A lady's hillarious Wednesday experience

I jezz had to feel pirry for this lady. Her story would touch you.

So on that Wednesday morning, some fat bellied men from the headquarter arrived at our branch. After a brief meeting with our branch manager, they dropped some envelopes and left. Soon enough, the lady...lerus call her Emmanuella...was called into the manager's office and was handed a white envelope. Correct me if I'm wrong, but they usually put sack letter in brown envelope and promotion letter in white envelope. That is my unproved theory, tho.

       So that is how they handed her a white envelope and she  was given a handshake. She rushed back to her desk and opened the envelope. She had been promoted to project supervisor with 25% increment in salary. She could hardly contain her chubby self until break time. 

      While others who received envelopes too were busy celebrating for their workmates, she snuck out of the office to the eatery at the next street behind office complex building. She ordered for unprintable quantities of food. Sheybi its her money na and its her promotion. The waiter happily obliged and served her all she asked for. She enjoyed herself, eating and sweating. 

        When it was time to pay, the waiter told her that a nice man had footed her bills. She looked around hoping to see one Iyanya-bodied, Ramsey-Noah-faced man smiling at her. Instead, what smiled back at her was an Obasanjo bellied, Mr. Ibu faced man grinning sheepishly. The "sugar daddy" swiftly moved for his catch and begged her to let him take care of her. 

      "You really mean it baba, please go away o. I beg"

       She said "No thanks" and offered to pay him back. But he started promising to take her round the world buy her every good thing.

         "Unto Wizkid style"

       "Is it by force?"

      Before she could talk one equally not-so-beautiful middle aged woman landed inside the eatery like she was fired by a rocket and boomed, "Eh ehn, Cletus, this is where you are, abi?

       Before Emmanuella could protest her innocence, the woman already dragged her by the hair and poured water on her, calling her husband snatcher,

      "Ezkizz ma, ayam not among o"

     Before the woman would now pour soup on her head, she ran out of the place with better speed. She got back to the office looking like shame and regret personified.

          "God, this is not how we planned it o. This is not the life I was promised o"

            Now, anytime an older looking man is looking at her somehow, she will quickly change direction.

    "It is not your life that I come, you people will not kill me."

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems. This story contains a lot of sentences in Nigerian pidgin English.!

Reviews

[Neha Arjun]

Plot twist :3
Few men ruining the image of men in general.