I painted the birds in the sky

Soaring in the pulsate skies painted birds go passing by.
The orange dye of the sun fractures into a thousand stars.
Is this who we think we are?
I am always short and not by far, so why not extend my arms.
To the heavens where rain falls steady and the dearly departed ascend when they are ready.
Rainbows shred stratosphere, and auroras beam into the Earth, whom sheds a tear.
Babies are indeed children right before their birth.
The fish in the seas contrast the color of the oceans blues and greens.
Are you with me? Are you asking?
You gave up. Baby, Baby, Baby, Maybe.
You sit in the sea soaked in your life.
Time keeps dancing by..
Dance until you feet give way, ballet this peaceful melody.
The Farris wheels lights burn on the water of the riverside.
You have dug a hole deep enough for both of us to hide.
Remember the time when I held you tight into dark and beyond the light?
Remember when I cried so hard you could see the tears through the rain?
Love me now and end the pain. Love me please and stop the rain.
Love me, love me, love me. I love you so please love me.
You are the one I hold so dear to me.
You are my love and suddenly, our legs touch.
Please lets rush, please just hush.
Your arms are wrapped around me.
Please put an end to my misery.

So please just come back to me.

Reviews

[Kaden Sylvers]

Beautiful poem....such strong emotion, and powerful symbolism and use of metaphors. I can feel the narrator's pain and the longing for the other character and the distress over the other character's pain & changed state.

Just a couple suggestions:

"Rainbows shred stratosphere, and auroras beam into the Earth, whom sheds a tear." I understand what you're trying to say in this line but word choice is kind of vague & its a little bit gramatically awkwardly structured

"The fish in the seas contrast the color of the oceans blues and greens." I love it, but maybe you can use a word that's a little less obvious than "contrast"...something more subtle

"You have dug a hole deep enough for both of us to hide." I don't think the sentence needs the word "have", plus it doesn't do anything for the rhythm