This Love

This love I have is my torture, My crucible in the night, As I lie awake, too afraid to dream. It is the old shoe I wear, Once beautiful and a little tight; Then, worn but comfortable; Now, fetid and falling apart. The seams are rotten,  Insubstancial, yet, I'm unable to throw it away, This love I have, For I fear the next one  May not fit as well. This love I have  Is like nerves too long compressed; Now, alive again. With myriad little needles Digging under the skin, Excruciating. And though I know the pain leads to life I dispise it. I resent the numbness; Loath the awakening; Fear the throb That is this love I have, The appendage long without circulation. This love I have, Once comfortable in its silence, Has now reawakened to piercing sounds-. The armistice nullified; My heart, the battle grounds. This love I have will be A casualty of our war, And I will be left with an unmarked grave, Cold and empty, Lonely, As I mourn the uncertain future Without This love I once had.

Author's Note

An old write, on an even older topic

Reviews

[Parul Sharma]

This is poem is realatable as i have heard love is a path where we can face some obstacles ..also when you are in a relationship with the person you love it is a really difficult task to move apart from him or her...Thanks for sharing a there are very less people who can shout out loud for themselves..Great work :)

[JayceeC]

Thank you. I have no problem shouting for the masses of need be. I seem to pour out vitriol and passion with equal fervor. :-)

[Parul Sharma]

ur most welcome :)

[Ben Noah Suri]

The aging of love compared to the aging of a shoe is brilliant... hats Off to you my friend

[JayceeC]

Thanks Suri!

[Braden Freeman]

I can sense you inside your work. Such strong emotions. Love is often hard to bear, but we need it on some level. I hope your love can once again set you free, taking you from the old and rotten to the new and exciting.

[JayceeC]

This piece is about ten years old, and, yes, we made it through with a lot of priority and lifestyle changes, but love foundered in the cauldrons of Hell seem to be unshakeable if you make it out. My newer work shows a completely different side of love.

[Richard🖌]

Trouble is, m'lady, despite how very much I enjoyed reading and being dragged through your emotions of highs and lows, coldness and heat, I relate to it far too vividly to not feel the stirrings that invariably come with memories.
Is this not what excellent poetry is about, taking the reader inside to feel the warmth, the joy, and tender pain?

A most brilliantly written and captivating piece, JCC … thank you for the amazingly vivid ride! ⁓ Richard

[JayceeC]

Richard, thank you for coming along. These rollercoasters are always more enjoyable when friends are alongside you.
Actually, when I put this up, my thought was for some revision, possibly taking out some of the repetition of phrase. Still trying to decide.~Jan

[just another mac withou..]

oh hell lady, this is crushing....

as far as a poem it is styled to perfection, strong word choices and laced with such pain.

as far as how it tapped into my own heart.....sigh

beautiful and powerful. you can write!

[JayceeC]

Love has a dark side too, but it makes us appreciate the joy and fun all the more.
This was written at a point when life was dark despite love. Almost everything written in that time is almost painful to read.

Thanks for the compliment it's nice to know others connect.

[wordman]

the price of life jc,love and all it brings to us,happiness and pain,yet we chose to take that chance

[JayceeC]

I don't regret, and pain is really a bit better than numb nothingness. Thanks for reading.

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Einstein Noodle]

so glad this is an "old" one for you .. while i was reading i was thinking how grateful we all are for writing .. for "getting it out" .. our burdens are half gone when we are able to define them ..;)

your poem highlights the creative tension to the edge of giving up .. when it is simply too much to bare .. the torture and crucible melting fears and loss and hope ... boiling metals ..who would ever be able to sleep ... i love the shoe analogy/metaphor is so relatable .. my old hiking boots, seams split remain at the back door .. i can not throw them out and will wear them from time to time to remember the comfort .. great stuff! enjoyed reading your poem very much
E.

[JayceeC]

Ha, the crucible is that cauldron of boiling thoughts best handled at a distance with utmost caution and a lot of protective gear. Maybe I threw too many things in this pot, because I am not sure that I like it as it now stands.

[Einstein Noodle]

oh??! i love it!

[garrshaw]

This piece can never be old.

I've been amazed at the quality of some of the writers on this site. I never expected it. There are a few lines in this poem that are my favourite because of your honesty and perception:

"My crucible in the night,
As I lie awake, too afraid to dream."

"And though I know the pain leads to life
I dispise it."

"And I will be left with an unmarked grave,"

I've spent an hour reading this poem. It will stick with me for a long time.

[JayceeC]

Welcome to my work! I am honored first, that you took so much time in perusal, and second, that you connected strongly with so many lines.
This piece is about ten years old, and my old site marked it as a challenge poem. That means I was given a set of five words that had to be used to create on any topic.
This site has some amazing writers of both poetry and prose. I like that I am always stumbling into new writers that do very good work. Thanks again for your kind words and time.

[africa]

An oldie but a goodie? Well written. Most enjoyed.

[JayceeC]

Thanks for the read.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wonderfully metaphoric, especially the shoe part....the next one might fit as well...none of mine fit worth a damn---and i kept tripping on my own laces...the war of leather, the war of the hush puppies, as i was a quiet recluse for many years after.

[JayceeC]

The leather shoe wars can be tough--First tight, pinching and rubbing, sometimes squeaking, not to mention the perpetual knots in the laces. Thanks for the comments Jacob.