Headstrong Lover

Septet II form--Carpe Diem

Do Not Turn

Away from me now

When love is new and thrilling.

Nevermore, passion's flame flares untamed--

Hearts blindly lead the willing

Journey--unsurpassed.

CAUTION burns!

Author's Note

This is a current contest piece written for another site in Spetet II form which basically is an English form consisting of a 7 line write that follows the syllable pattern of 3-5-7-9-7-5-3. No rhyme scheme is necessary.

This is just a passing nod to some of my faves John Donne, Christopher Marlowe, Robert Herrick and Robert Browning..they did passion well.

Now you know the rules, you can try it on your own.

Reviews

[....................]

There is no greater burning than the fire of passion - the unrestricted desire that, once unleashed, is difficult to control... this piece fits the title very, very well and those opening lines - with their demanding tone - clearly let the reader know that this is not some dilly-dallying crush in need of a quick fix; no, this is something that is far more explosive...

I love the play on 'blind leading the willing' - it's tough being the willing and having to watch as the blind lover bumbles about, not really understanding the desires of want... those burning needs...

...and yes, passion is, indeed, an unsurpassed journey that requires a cautionary sign...

I really felt the heat in this one, Jan, as well as the chill... and, I love the form.

Well-done!

[JayceeC]

Thomas, Thank you for this excellent review! You addressed the one thing I've been dilly dallying over, the Title. I'm never quite sure I like them. I also haven't decided it you guys are just so used to reading my passion pieces that you expect hot so that's what is read, or if I just don't recognize how much heat I put into a piece anymore. XD
Now that you have the form, I expect to see at least one Thomas!

[....................]

You are kindly welcome, Jan, and I never expect anything - I always read what is there and it is the write that garners the response.

Yes, I will try one, after I am done with my botanical piece :)

[JayceeC]

HMMM Interesting--Your objectivity indicates that I'm not always recognizing all the elements I'm putting into my writing. That does not surprise me to much as I just start writing with an idea, and the rest happens with a little bit of edit.
Glad you are writing the botanical DO NOT Send a RR. I will pick it up from contest!

[....................]

Yes, on the last comment...

[Jamestown]

Well penned!
The coals are definitely at an all time high temperature
when that new lustful inferno takes over the mood in the
beginning, I think we all will be able to agree on this point:)
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[JayceeC]

Thanks for the read James. I now owe you a few.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Hahah you really amazed me....very nice!

[JayceeC]

Thanks Sky! :-)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

Welcome friend!

[Taylor]

Thx for the explanation about the form. Lovely poem about a subject most know very well, being the sentient creatures we are. I wonder if the reasoning would be enhanced by a comma between caution and burns? As written I take the meaning to be that caution is the problem, that the caution actually burns (as to burn). I think your meaning may be the traditional use of "caution" in the sense of "watch out , you might get burned. Or would it work better to say caution, fire? As always, you know what you're dealing with with me--an insensitive lout when it comes to poetry, so feel free to sock me in the eye and move on!

[JayceeC]

Actually I meant it the way you read it. The afore mentioned poets in the author's note were all about seduction, carpe diem, and throwing caution to the wind. Leaving like it is allows the reader to decide how to read it. But I do see and understand the suggestion. The word fire never even comes to mind when I'm looking for a single syllable...in Texas it has two...LOL

[...]

Jaycee, this is wonderful! Passion and love are give AND take. Love requires action, it's doing and being done. A circular engagement, most don't have the stamina for. You have to exercise it to keep it strong. Most are to lazy (selfish) to meet the needs of someone else for very long. Hurting people, hurt people. They may or may not intend to. It's a vicious cycle, compassion and understanding are required and an under developed part of the human race. I truly enjoyed this poem, jaycee. It's a strong statement in a tight neat little package :)

[JayceeC]

Lynn, I love that when you look at my work, you bring a unique experience to it, that is different from what the men see. They put emphasis on the ending, you the beginning, which is where I generally start my perspective. Yes that journey is long, and I wish Disney would get real and portray it as hard. The work just begins at marriage, or I love You and keeps going.
My husband and I are both givers, which you would think would make it easy. What it does is makes us have to work doubly hard at protecting time together for our relationship. We learned the hard way that you have to save giving for each other as well as those around you. So even the good guys have their pitfalls and have to work at it.

[...]

BUT, the good guys DO work at it, as apposed to looking for something else to be selfish with :) You have a good one, and I am very happy that you do ((( U )))

[JayceeC]

Now we work at it after almost loosing it. We had a real wake-up call that called for major life decisions. Most of my dark poetry comes from that period, and there are some on my marriage that I have not posted here that are extremely bitter. If it's worth it, you can work it out. We felt it was worth it, so now we work at it. it's easy to become complacent, though.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

yep it burns......a lot.....
interesting format......
beautiful poetry!!!!
i loved it!!!
:)

[JayceeC]

I wonder how many will start writing them now? The Septet II is an easy form to write...there are variations that are more challenging..but starting off with an easy one that most can follow. As always you are good for tbe muse's ego! Waiting for you to translate some of your Hindi pieces.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

oh i will definitely try it......and the other forms you will introduce us to..........
I just posted a HINDI poem and after reading this comment i also posted its translation.......do check that out......i will send a RR.......it is titled "Bahaana(Excuse)"......

[Coyote Poetry]

You create a fire and demanded payment in the poem. I liked the poem. You said enough to make the point and left reader with a strong ending. Always better to taste the menu when the food is hot. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[JayceeC]

Well John some dishes become highly unappealing once they go cold. Passion definitely falls into that category. Thank for the review!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[wordman]

the last line tells the story,a great write jc

[JayceeC]

Thanks for stopping by...just out of curioisty did your read "caution burns" or "Caution. Burns" neither is right or wrong btw..just the writers curiosity of the outcome.

[wordman]

did you send a rr

[JayceeC]

Yes and you read it...I meant the last line,,,LOL

[wordman]

there is no rr,and i didn`t see it on your page
i turn rr`s off and on,maybe it was off when you sent it

[Robert]

That's where it Hurts the most, when another turns away when the other is so much in love. You are very contrasted in your writing. I wish I had the words that you display so effortlessly (at least that's what I think) on you poems. Good one JAycee.

[JayceeC]

Sometimes we turn out of fear, and other passions, and yes the turn in away hurts. The first few lines flowed very easily an the fourth was a bit of a shot and then revised a bit for syllable count and to figure out where I wanted to go. My writing is not consistent though, it bounces around from room to room with no real roots other than what I'm thinking about. Some days to even right a senryu is beyond me. Once I get an idea going it's not too bad, and I struggle to identify with poets who edit and edit. that task is almost beyond me unless someone tells me which lines and exactly what they do not like. Every writer has strengths and weaknesses. It's hard to look objectively at our own work. Yours is good, just different from mine.

[Robert]

As I said a good poem. I on the other hand suck at punctuation, but that's where I learn from you all my reviewers. I rend to go in the direction of free verse and don't conform to traditional writing (don't understand it). Anyways good job Jaycee.

[Willard Wells]

Can you say flaming unbridled lust that will not be denied, no, but JC can. Very strong power in this piece. Very aggressive. Thanks for sharing. Oh, I liked it.

[JayceeC]

a bit of classical with the new again. maybe I should quote some of the old guys in the notes..btw..you can say it very well, you choose not to..there is a difference.