Infected

Unwell

What is this being inside me,

Hijacking my emotions                      

Creating chaos from serenity?

Anger and madness

Wretch my soul,

Slowly,

Painfully-

 

Gorging on internal consumption

Until all that's left

Is a shell.

Hollow yet serene

in visage

as it gazes uncomprehendingly

At the world around.

 

Does no one suspect

That some pathogen

Has usurped control?

Its mephistophelean will

Shunning altruistic action;
 

Injecting nerve-wracking venom;

Paralyzing motivation;

Festering.

 

Yet, a microcosm of hope endures

Frantically searching

The ephemeris

Looking toward the heavens.

Perhaps, they will offer

A chrism;

Healing this wounded spirit;

Giving back my life. 

Author's Note

Written in 2004

Tear it apart if you like...or just connect.

Reviews

[Pushkar Prabhat]

good and bad......facets of the same coin.......so is god and evil........if god resides within us......so does evil.......
its us who is responsible for who takes over..........and even when we feel like the evil has eaten away everything leaving just a shell of us........i am sure we can still find god within......and help him save us.......
amazing poem!!!
i loved it!!!
:)

[JayceeC]

Hope from Heaven and God's ability to heal...sometimrs we have to search through the layers of darkness to get there. Glad you stopped by With this comment. J

[Pushkar Prabhat]

true.........so this one was not that sweet i guess....lol :P :P

[JayceeC]

Your comments? They are always sweet. This time insightful outweighs the syrup.

[Coyote Poetry]

Very nice use of words. I liked them.
"Injecting nerve-wracking venom;
Paralyzing motivation;
Festering. "
I liked the energy and the drive of your words in this poem. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[JayceeC]

Thanks John. This piece was written in a low point but some of the words were given as a challenge words. As always, I appreciate your reviews.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well with the challenge words and you are welcome.

[RiverRei]

I know this feeling all to well. I actually have Dissociative Identity Disorder so I feel like this quite often. It's scary because I'm not always aware when I'm not myself...I also love the song you've chosen to share with this. Wonderful piece, Momma, thanks for sharing :) It's going in my library :)

[JayceeC]

River, they have another called Disease that is on the same lines and good too. Well sometimes I wish I were not quite so aware..that is a torture in itself because it leaves you feeling helpless.

[JC]

I think we all wonder at our own negative outlooks, you paint a real picture of how our emotions can take total control, how they affect how we see the world, and how when we come down, almost like coming down from a high, some sort of negative inducing drug, we can still find and see the hope and positivity... I felt the virulent quality you were designing here...I've felt this possession... apart from both being Jay C's and having connective minds I believe you have a greater vocabulary and more intelligent, lol, not just pandering, I think I'm philosophical but less learned...something about Texas and the people has always felt like a place I belong and in writing like yours, music, atmosphere...I feel it even more.

[JayceeC]

Your welcome to this bid state at any time. We love Canadians..must be something in the frontier do or die outlook of the forefathers. Don't worry the vocab is a family trait not a Texas one, and I believe this was written from a given word list, but the dark design was all mine..lol This brain never stops unless I feed it with pure junk reading and then it just give in and goes to sleep...well mostly.

[...]

I Connect :) I have certainly felt all of this. AND I love MB20 and DMB :)You're a very gifted poetess, Jaycee

[JayceeC]

You are very good for my ego at the end of a long day, Lynn! Thanks! DMB has been touring this area! They are great too!

[Michele Harman]

another good one. I wonder what it was about. I kind of think about a cancer patient in this one.

[JayceeC]

Its a bleak state of depression...the cause could be anything and depression can be just as deadly as cancer.

[Mayank]

Wow! That's one of the best poem I have read here. A painful account of one's life. I am not sure if there's really god to solve all the pain, I think all the situation has some or other way, we can escape or face. The vocab is impressive.

[JayceeC]

Thanks so much for the review And the compliment.

[AaronFreitas]

I really like the words in this poem... listening to that song is awesome too... one of my favorites by Matchbox 20. Good write I enjoyed it very much :)

[JayceeC]

Aarom MB20 and Rob Thomas in general are faves and it was a tossup between Unwell and Disease this ones jusy easier for nonfans . Glad you liked the poem too.

[Elan Vital 23]

Yes, the world we contend often seems like a festering pandemic. Quite frankly I'm mad that I'm mad. I wanna be good so bad. I too look to the ephemeris and hope for a chrism. I long to believe the beauty of the cosmos and our world is not sheer illusion.

Bruce

[JayceeC]

Sometimes hope in those things is all we have.

[Elan Vital 23]

Nah, there's always the beauty that wells from within. Perhaps a little too Socratic (know thyself) to seem objectively realistic but a good place to start.

[JayceeC]

Never a bad place to search but some days the darkness there is overwhelming.

[Elan Vital 23]

Yeah, I'm afraid sometimes I could positively kill. Worse of this might not detract to me honestly aimed situation. Sickly tempty.

[Simon Welsh]

Wordy. I like it. Sometimes, we can complicate things though. Listen to Afraid of Heights by Wavves.

[JayceeC]

I understand that this may have a somewhat limited audience becauce of the vocab. But by the same token some ppl will take the time to google the definition. Ive found its okay is you are hitting your target audience.

[Simon Welsh]

I like the vocab! Don't get me wrong.

[JayceeC]

That is good to know but I do know that it limits the appeal a bit and will turn off some readers and I am fine with that.

[Simon Welsh]

In all honesty, that's how I've approached my own writing recently. Who needs pop hits?

[Willard Wells]

Yes it does appear quite different to your current work. You sounded a bit discussed with something in life when you wrote this. Thanks for sharing.

[JayceeC]

Perhaps...mainly felt like drowning. Thanks for taking the time.