The Kid Named Not Me

Because we've become too serious.

There's a new kid at home,
One nobody sees
But we all know he's there.
His name is Not Me.

He took out all my colors
And doodled on the wall.
You can tell from how high he reached
He isn't very tall.

When my mom asked,
"Whose art work can this be?"
The answer was unanimous.
We all said, "Not Me!"

Not Me is very naughty.
He always makes a mess,
And what he did with Sister's doll
Is anybody's guess!


He ruined Mommy's makeup.
He messed up Daddy's hat.
He even cut my bed sheets.
Now, how bad was that?

And when he takes a bath
He gets water on the floor.
And just last night
He got toothpaste on the door.

He spilled Kool-Aid on the carpet
And broke some dishes in the sink.
He left the milk out on the counter
So now there's none to drink.

When something's going wrong
And Mom's angry as can be,
You can always be sure he did it-
That kid named Not Me.

Author's Note

This is actually one of my oldest poems. You will notice a metered style that I rarely use anymore but it fits for this. It has been viewed and reviewed more than any other piece of writing I have, and I think its because we all need more laughter sometimes.

Im putting this here not because I want critique, but because I can tell my friends need a smile.

Leave whatever comments you care to knowing I will never edit this piece of work. It is my personal snapshot
from the past and includes all of my children.

My intent is to make you smile.

Reviews

[Michael G. Smith]

Brings memories of the cartoon Family circle and little Jeffery.

[JayceeC]

Lol. This is still my favorite piece after 10 years. Maybe because I had four Jefferies at my house.

[Beccy]

Ah yes, that all too familiar 'not me.' Love the style and the way you capture that eternal childhood excuse in such a humorous way.

Much enjoyed this. Beccy.

[JayceeC]

Thanks Beccy for commenting.

[highthought]

you did make me smile , its refreshing and i dont know how your going to think of my word , but you wrote it as a kid like him , u spoke his language in describing the scenes , i am not against that , u made it simple even kids will enjoy it too .... after all maybe there is a part hiding in u

[JayceeC]

This was written for my children when they were little, so yes, the language is simple because I wanted them to enjoy it. I think a little bit of him still lives in us all. It would be sad if he didn't this mischievous little bugger.

[JayceeC]

Oh I have a stack from their messes when they were kids. All the big things are immortalized in poems for their scrapbooks..LOL Consider it Mom's revenge for all the that I had to clean up..shampoo was the worst!

[highthought]

so this is ur way to revenge lol i remember when u said that u run away from ur problem by writing ..the thing is what did they think about it ??

[JayceeC]

LOL...they used to look sheepish when I pulled it out...usually when something new was up...then I could just say the opening lines..and could tell who the guilty party was.. I still do that and they just groan and spill the beans..LOL

[Coyote Poetry]

I have three grand-boys who live with me. Six and under.
"That kid named Not Me."
I heard these words a few times. Thank you for sharing the fun poetry to read.
Coyote

[JayceeC]

Hopefully they messes are not part of it too..LOL

[Coyote Poetry]

Kids will test us. Just smile and clean-up.

[Delmar Cooper]

I smiled because I know that kid, or I remember him.

[JayceeC]

I'm glad to share my sunshine with you today.

[Adamas]

Loved it, especially since I am a parent to a just turned 2, toddler.

[JayceeC]

Well it even comes out of the mouths of toddlers, and be warned that every single event in that poem actually happened. Of course I had four running around to create this havoc..but don't look away for a second, or you too may have these adventures. Good Luck with that!! ~Jan

[RiverRei]

This speaks so true to me. It definitely put a little smile on my face because of my experience with this kid named Not Me. Helping to raise my boyfriend's three children, we have heard the phrase "wasn't me," or "not me" so often that it makes you almost cringe every time you here it now. Thank you for being so sweet and considerate to post something in hopes to make your friends smile. It definitely worked with me :) You're amazing, never go away :)

[JayceeC]

River, make a copy and start reading it to them...well it may have been more effective with my four because of the guilt factor...lol.. but just starting the first line usually works with my kids 13 years later...lol

[RiverRei]

I'm definitely going to try this, thank you :) *HUGS*

[AaronFreitas]

This is an awesome piece my friend! I could picture this being an awesome kids book. The imagery you provided... well it tell the story in a way the would intrigue my children. I could just seeing it being a good kids book :) Maybe something to look in to.

[JayceeC]

Aaron, I made a kids book from Powerpoint for my kids, but would love to have an real illustrated one, but never found the time when the kids were small. I think it's pretty timeless, so I may pursue at some point in the near future.

[AaronFreitas]

That would be awesome! I want to do a kids book... just something special for my girls. I think it would be neat. I would have to have someone do all the art because I can't draw a stick figure lol

[BougaTimeBongo]

I love this, very whimsical and I think something that everyone that's ever been a child, can relate to. Where your intent is to make the reader smile, you are most definitely successful. :)

[JayceeC]

Thanks BTB For taking the time. Glad you left with a smile :-)

[E G TEN]

I've got 5 siblings, reading this lovely poem of yours brings back all those beautiful "Not Me" moments;) Very lovely indeed... Thanks for sharing ;)

[JayceeC]

Oh boy..I'm sure you're parents had plenty of these..but as we grow older those frustrating moments become amusing tales and precious memories.