**Chapter 1: Fractured Soul**

"Long ago, before the dawn of all we know, two immortal beings, Yin and Yang, stirred the void, birthing the universe into existence. They brought forth peoples who thrived under a singular, harmonious empire---"the Union of the Galaxies. Yin and Yang bestowed Taka, the lifeblood of the cosmos, distributing it equally to sustain the delicate balance of existence.

Yet, a fateful day arrived when, for reasons unknown to us mere mortals, a rift tore through the celestial pair. Their conflict shattered the equilibrium, scattering Taka unevenly across the universe. Dark Energy, or Yin Taka, permeated some regions, while others were suffused with the Bright Energy of Yang Taka. As the dispute raged on, an insidious curse befell the people. Their very souls became stained with the Taka that engulfed their lands, the curse grew stronger, its dark tendrils reaching further into the hearts of the people. Those who dwelled in lands suffused with Yin Taka found their strength waning upon entering Yang territories, and vice versa. The once-unified citizens now bore the burden of their tainted souls, a grim reminder of the discord above.

As the celestial battle raged, the universe itself began to shift unpredictably. Regions of Yin would suddenly blaze with Yang, leaving its inhabitants to perish overnight. Fear and uncertainty spread like wildfire, and it wasn’t long before the Union of the Galaxies stood on the brink of collapse.

The turning point came during a war between two planets, one bathed in Yin and the other in Yang. A nameless general from the Yang planet---"a figure lost to the annals of history---"made a harrowing discovery. With each Yin soul that perished, the Yang territories expanded. This revelation sparked a ruthless campaign among the Yang generals, who sought to eradicate the Yin populace to secure their own survival.

But the Yin generals were not blind to this tactic. They, too, observed the growth of their domains with each fallen Yang. Thus, a vicious cycle of genocide and survival ignited, tearing the once-peaceful empire asunder.

Centuries passed, and the Union of the Galaxies was no more. In its place stood two opposing empires: the Yin Union and the Yang Union, each a mirror of the other’s despair. Their endless war, a testament to their will to endure, rages on to this day."

Old Henkel closed the book, his voice a mere whisper against the backdrop of the wide-eyed children audience. “And so, my young listeners, the universe as we know it was forged---"not from the harmony of celestial beings, but from their strife. Remember this tale, for it is the story of us all.”

Henkel rose from his seat and made his way to his room, his steps slow and thoughtful. He was stopped by a young man who seemed hesitant but determined. "Excuse me, High Master, may I ask if you're busy?" the young man inquired with a respectful tone.

Henkel turned, giving the young man his full attention. "I have some time. What do you need?" he responded, his voice calm and inviting.

The young man took a deep breath before speaking. "Lady Julia Dregonaizer is delivering her speech tonight at the royal hall. She believes that you, as the head of the C-Yan Monastery---"the most revered martial academy in the Yang Union---"and a dear friend of her husband, Vice President Sir Alexander Dregonaizer, should be there as a VIP guest," he explained, hoping to convey the importance of the invitation.

A soft smile spread across Henkel's face, one that spoke of deep affection and long-standing bonds. "Alex and Julia are like my own children to me," he began, his voice warm with fondness. "But I'll have to pass on the invitation this time. Please let Julia know that I'm honored by her offer and that I'm very proud of both her and Alexander. I'm eager to hear about the speech directly from her afterward," he said, his smile lingering as he continued his walk to his room.

Meanwhile, The Dregonaizers' palace was alive with a different kind of battle, one of words and emotions. Julia paced back and forth, her hands wringing together as a storm of worry raged within her. "F**k, f**k, f**k . I can't do this. I'll be a laughingstock," she muttered, A tremble in her voice betrayed the calm she struggled to maintain.

Alexander watched her, his attempt at humor falling flat. "Hey, it's just a speech in front of hundreds of people. No big deal, right?" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

Julia shot him a glare, her panic rising. "F**k you! that's not helping, Alex! And it's not 'just a speech'---"it's my first time, and not just in front of a few hundred people. There will be a lot more watching from their homes."

He shrugged, his voice too casual. "You'll be fine. It's just talking."

Her frustration boiled over. "Easy for you to say, Mr. Vice President, son of the former president!"

Alexander's retort was swift. "And you're a Heartmaker, one of the most influential families. You've got this."

"But I've never given a speech!" she exclaimed, her voice echoing off the walls.

He approached her, his demeanor softening. With a gentle kiss, he whispered, "Trust me, Julia. They're going to love you," his smile simple yet reassuring.

The tension in Julia's shoulders eased, and a blush crept onto her cheeks. "Okay, I'm heading out," she said, her confidence returning as she moved towards the door.

Alex's voice stopped her. "Julia, wait."

She turned, irritation flickering in her eyes. "What now?"

He smiled, his earlier jest replaced with sincerity. "Good luck."

Her expression softened, and she offered a small smile in return. "Thanks, you too," she said, and with a renewed sense of purpose, she left the palace.

As she stepped out, the chauffeur was already there, holding the door open with a courteous gesture. “Please, after you, my lady,” he said, maintaining a professional tone. “Thank you. You’re the new guy, aren’t you? Just take it easy, Willian, no need to be so formal,” she replied with a reassuring smile as she slid into the back seat of the car.

Julia rehearsed her speech silently during the drive to the hall. Upon arrival,  Willian was prompted to open the door for her, offering a slight bow as a sign of respect. “I told you, there’s no need to be nervous,” she said kindly as she made her way to her room to prepare for the speech. Once inside, she tossed her purse aside, placed her hands over her face, and let out a nervous exclamation, “God damn it! Why did I have to act so confident in front of Alex? Now he’s going to tease me when I get home too. He really knows how to make me act foolish with that stupid kiss.”

Hearing her outburst, Willian, who was waiting outside, knocked on the door, concern evident in his voice, “Are you alright, ma’am?” She took a deep breath to regain her composure and called back, “Yes, everything is fine, thank you for asking.”

One of the organizers, who was also standing by, inquired, “So you’re the new guy?” “Yes, how did you know?” Willian responded. “Lady Julia can be quite a handful, but she has the purest heart and the bravest soul. She always acts like that, but in the end, I’ve never seen anything she can’t handle, so don’t worry,” he reassured.

As the moment to speak approached, Julia emerged from her room, her presence commanding attention. Her blonde hair was neatly arranged in a bun, and her green eyes shone with an unwavering confidence that matched the purposeful stride of her steps.

Taking her place at the podium, she made a slight adjustment to the microphone before addressing the gathered crowd. “Firstly, I want to express my gratitude for the honor of speaking here today. I’m eager to share with you the significance of taka manipulation,” she began, her voice steady and clear. "Taka has long been integral to our way of life, Taka, drawn from the very essence of the universe, is the foundation upon which we’ve built our civilization. It lights our homes, propels our vehicles, and powers our industries.

“It was an unknown pioneer, whom we refer to only as the First Master, who unveiled the profound potential within us, within one’s own body---"the ability to generate and manipulate taka, the same energy that runs through the cosmos,” she continued, her assurance growing as she demonstrated her mastery over taka, effortlessly levitating a chair from the distant end of the hall.

 “Such a profound ability necessitated the establishment of institutions like the C-yan Monastery, the pioneering academy dedicated to teaching taka manipulation. Named after our capital planet, the monastery stands as a vital lifeline for our union. However, we face a troubling decline in attendance, threatening our very existence against the encroaching Yin forces. It is imperative that we---"”

Her speech was abruptly interrupted by a thunderous explosion that sent shockwaves through the building. The hall trembled, yet, miraculously, the main area where the audience sat remained unharmed.

Not long after Julia’s speech was interrupted, another explosion echoed through the hall, and a section of the wall crumbled away. Armed assailants emerged from the debris, firing shots of taka energy into the air.

“Where is Julia Dregonaizer?” one of the attackers bellowed.

Security personnel sprang into action, but the assailants were quick to aim their weapons, taking down the guards with ruthless efficiency. Julia, witnessing the chaos, sprang into motion. She shoved the podium aside and dashed forward with astonishing speed, snatching the taka bullets from the air and saving the lives of the security team.

“You secure the exit for the audience; I’ll handle the attackers,” she commanded.

“But my lady---"” a security officer began, only to be silenced by Julia’s authoritative tone.

“Are you defying an order?” she demanded, her voice brooking no argument.

The security officer felt a chill of fear deep to his very spine. “No, ma’am,” he stammered.

“The safety of the civilians is your top priority. Now go,” she ordered, and the man hurried away to guide the crowd to safety.

Julia turned to face the assailants, the captured bullets falling from her open palm to the floor with a clatter, a silent challenge to the intruders. One of them, undeterred, threatened, “We’ve planted explosives beneath this place. Surrender, or we’ll---"”

But his threat was cut short. In a blur of motion, Julia’s foot was inches from his face, and in the next instant, his head was sent across the hall, crashing against the far wall while the body fell in its place. Another attacker raised his weapon, but before he could react, he found his comrades nailed to the wall by their feet, dangling helplessly as they screamed in pain.

Julia’s foot wrapped around his neck like a python. He struggled briefly before she applied pressure, and his struggle ceased as his head fell to the ground.

Julia ran out toward the source of the first explosion to find a small army and a tank. “Since you are here, it’s safe to assume you fought my men. You were warned about the bombs under the royal hall; you should have just obeyed,” a man’s voice came from inside the tank. He pressed the detonation button, but nothing happened. Panic set in as he kept pressing, but still, nothing happened.

“It will not explode,” Julia stated firmly.

“What did you do?” the man inside the tank asked, his voice tinged with fear.

“I engulfed the bombs with my taka. They’ve exploded, but the blast was contained,” Julia explained.

“This can’t be. Men, attack her!” he ordered, but his command faltered as he looked around to find all his men shredded into pieces, their body parts strewn about. “But this is not fair---"your husband, he… he wiped out my family seven years ago. They weren’t even on any criminal lists, and yet he spared me. Why? Why leave me to suffer alone?” he yelled, his voice cracking as he fired from the tank, the shots filling the air with smoke and his hysterical screams.

When the smoke cleared, Julia was nowhere to be seen. “Yes, vanish from existence. Let the vice president suffer,” he shouted, his brief joy turning to confusion as he saw someone lifting the entire upper part of the tank, revealing him underneath---"it was Julia.

“Not so strong without your tank, are you?” she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

The man’s anguish was palpable. “My family had done no wrong. That day, he looked me right in the eyes and left me alive… why didn’t he kill me along with them?” he cried out, tears streaming down his face.

“You could’ve simply asked him. Unfortunately, it’s too late for that,” Julia said coldly.

In a fit of rage, the man spat out, “Monster!” and pulled out his gun. He fired six shots directly into Julia’s stomach. But to his shock, Julia only smiled, unfazed by the bullets as if they were mere nuisances.

“Is that it?” she said, her smile never wavering. With a swift motion, she smashed the upper part of the tank down on his head, causing the entire thing to explode.

Julia’s silhouette emerged from the billowing smoke, her movements unhurried as she unfurled her hair, allowing the embers to dance among the tresses, casting a daunting aura. She inspected her attire and discovered a singed spot on her dress at the shoulder.

“I was quite fond of this dress,” she remarked, her tone laced with annoyance. She exhaled deeply, resigning herself to the loss. “But it seems the past isn’t something we can simply retrieve.”

Approaching the hall’s entrance, she encountered the head of security. She settled onto the ground, and he found his place against the wall.

“Quite the ordeal today, wouldn’t you say?” he queried.

“It’s all in a day’s work for me,” she responded, her voice a calm contrast to the day’s events.

“The strongest woman in the universe, they say,” he mused with a grin, extracting a cigarette from his pack and offering it to her.

“Thanks, but I don’t smoke,” she declined.

“So, what’s next?” he inquired, igniting his cigarette and inhaling the first puff.

“Looks like the speech is off,” she quipped, a smirk gracing her lips.

“Will you be heading home? Should I call Willian to drive you?” he offered.

“There’s no need. I’ll enjoy the walk,” she replied, rising to her feet. Glancing back, she added, “Just let Willian know not to wait up for me,” her smile unwavering.

“Alright then. Take care,” he called out.

“I always do,” she assured him, her form receding into the distance as she walked away.

Julia took a turn on her way home to a shadowed alley, after walking there for a while her instincts alerted her to lurking danger. A man emerged from the darkness, brandishing a butterfly knife with a menacing grin. “What’s a lovely, rich lady like you doing in our alley?” he taunted, his eyes greedily appraising her. “Hand over everything you’ve got, dress included,” he demanded as his cohorts closed in around her.

“Do you have any idea who I am?” Julia inquired, her voice the epitome of calm.

“I couldn’t care less,” he sneered. “You’ve made a grave mistake coming here.”

A sly smile crept across Julia’s lips. “Perfect,” she murmured. In a swift motion, she seized the man by his attire, slamming him to the ground. Her knee pinned him down as her fists rained down upon his face, the force of her blows fracturing the concrete beneath them. The fissures spread, the earth trembled, and with a ferocious cry, she hurled his lifeless form aside.

Julia paused in the narrow alley, her senses tingling with the residue of adrenaline and something else---"an unfamiliar quiver within her. The man lay motionless at her feet, a testament to her strength, yet as she stood there, a shadow of doubt crept into her mind.

“What is this sensation?” she whispered to herself, her hand instinctively going to her chest where her heart would be racing if she were anyone else. “Is this what fear feels like?” The question hung in the air, unanswered.

The alley was silent now, save for the distant echo of the city. Julia knew she should leave, that lingering here served no purpose. “I need to get home,” she murmured, more to the empty space than to herself. With a final glance at the chaos she’d wrought, she turned on her heel and made her way out of the alley, each step an effort to shake off the strange feeling that had settled over her.

Julia’s arrival at home was met with Alexander’s characteristic banter. “I see fresh blood stains that weren’t on the news. Did you vent on some unfortunate soul because your big moment was scrapped?” he teased, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Something like that,” Julia replied, her voice betraying a hint of strain.

Alexander’s eyes narrowed, his observational skills kicking in. “Are you alright?” The concern in his voice was palpable, the teasing tone now replaced with genuine worry.

“What are you on about? Are you stupid? I’m perfectly fine. Do you really think I’d be fazed by such an attack?” she scoffed, her hand resting on her hip in a mock display of indignation.

But Alexander wasn’t convinced. He stepped forward, his hands reaching out to tear away the fabric of her dress at the stomach, revealing the six blue marks beneath. “What the hell, Alex?” she exploded, her voice a mix of shock and anger.

“Change. We’re going to see Henkel immediately,” he commanded, his voice steady and calm, belying the urgency of his words.

Julia’s protests were fierce. “Aren’t you listening? I said I’m---"” But her words were cut short by Alexander’s intense glare, his voice booming as he overrode her objections. “I said immediately!”

She stood motionless, a storm of emotions raging within her. Anger surged, urging her to retaliate, while sadness threatened to bring tears to her eyes. Yet, above all, an unfamiliar fear gripped her, making her want to retreat into solitude. She met Alexander’s unwavering gaze, her resolve crumbling, her lip caught between her teeth until a drop of blood marked her surrender.

“Alright, I’ll go,” she conceded, her voice a whisper against the weight of her tumultuous feelings.

The urgency in Alexander’s actions was clear as he made the call to Willian, his voice carrying the weight of the situation. Julia, still seething with anger, changed her clothes in silence, refusing to engage with him. On their way to the C-yan temple, Alexander’s call to Henkel was tinged with concern, breaking through the late hour with the gravity of his words.

“Hey, Henkel, sorry for the sudden call,” Alexander began, his tone grave.

Henkel’s response was light-hearted at first, unaware of the seriousness of the call. “This had better be good, waking me up at this hour,” he joked.

But the mood shifted as Alexander explained, “It’s serious. Julia’s not herself, and I’ve never seen her like this. You’re the best physician there is, Henkel. She needs you.”

Understanding the severity, Henkel replied with newfound solemnity, “Alright, I’ll be ready in the medical room at the monastery.”

Upon arrival, the pair wasted no time. Alexander, with a mix of determination and concern, scooped Julia into his arms and rushed her to the medical room. Julia, caught off guard by the gesture, could only question him with a blush coloring her cheeks, but Alexander remained silent, focused solely on reaching Henkel.

Henkel was already there, prepared for whatever they faced. He gestured for Alexander to lay Julia on the bed. With a practiced calm, Henkel placed his palm on Julia’s forehead, his eyes glowing with the power of his examination. Moments passed, the tension palpable, until Henkel stepped back with a look of deep concern. “Oh, boy,”

Reviews

[JayG]

"Long ago, before the dawn of all we know, two immortal beings, Yin and Yang, stirred the void, birthing the universe into existence.

I truly wish my news was better. But since this will work when you read it, and the problems an agent or editor would reject it for are invisible to you, I thought you might want to know. So...

You begin with a 386 word quote that from a reader’s viewpoint is meaningless. They don’t know who’s speaking, or why, and, it’s a lecture that might or might not be backstory. My point is that this is something you didn’t make the reader WANT to hear. And at that length it takes up the first two standard manuscript pages and part of the third, during which nothing happens in the story. But, if you haven't hooked the reader by then, and made them NEEED to turn the pages, they're gone

The short version: begin your story with story, not history.

Added to that, the reader knows that Yin and Yang is a philosophical concept that’s unrelated to religion. So no matter the reason you chose them, the reader, unaware of that, will shake their head at this.

• Henkel rose from his seat and made his way to his room, his steps slow and thoughtful.

Think about it: Ours is NOT a visual medium. So, telling the reader that he had to stand to walk? A waste of time. No one cares if he was sitting or standing before walking. And telling the reader he was walking thoughtfully is meaningless unless we know what has him thoughtful.

What you’re doing is exactly what you were taught to do. So this isn't about talent, or how well you write. As the narrator, alone on stage, you report and explain, which is the fact-based and author-centric approach used when writing the kind of applications employers need: reports, letters, and other nonfiction. It doesn't work for fiction

Readers don’t want to learn what they'd see on the screen were it a film. They don’t want to know what happened. That’s history. Readers expect us to make them feel they’re LIVING the story AS the protagonist, and, in real-time. As E. L. Doctorow puts it: “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” And how to do that is a learned skill, as are all the other skills of the Fiction Writing profession.

The problem is, though we know they offer degrees in Commercial Fiction Writing, the pros make it seem so easy and natural that we assume that the kind of writing we were given in school works for all kinds of writing. But it doesn’t.

That doesn’t say you can’t write fiction. It says you need to dig into the skills the pros take for granted. But, given that you want to write, you’ll find that it’s far from being a chore, and filled with, “But wait! That’s so, so..... How could I not have seen such an obvious point myself?” And that will bring a smile...till, after about ten times, you begin to growl the words while pounding on the table. 😆

But after you master those skills, the act of writing becomes the act of living the events, and is a LOT more fun.

To get you started, grab Debra Dixon’s, GMC: Goal Motivation & Conflict. and try a few chapters for fit. I think you’ll find it eye-opening.
https://dokumen.pub/qdownload/gmc-goal-motivation-and-conflict-9781611943184.html

And for what it might be worth, my articles and Videos are meant as an overview of the traps and gotchas. But, whatever you do, hang in there and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
~ Mark Twain

“In sum, if you want to improve your chances of publication, keep your story visible on stage and yourself mum.”
~ Sol Stein