Blind Dates

I wrote this when my daughter was dating, and a bit discouraged.

Blind Dates

Here's to the blind dates you have had

Here's to the good, and here's to the bad

 

To boozers and grabbers and drooling of lips

To the friends who will stick you with all of the pips

To the time you were given that "Oh special dear"

And found in the end he was hopelessly queer

 

To the one who would laugh at his own moldy jokes

To the black and the blue from the elbow he pokes

To the finks, and the wimps, with the breath of the fish

To friends who are served with the tastier dish

 

To calls that begin, "I'm a friend of a friend"

To the bruises and tears you receive in the end

To the hopes that you start with, all happy and bright

To the sigh that you give at the end of the night

 

To the friends who arrange

To the weird and the strange

To the times that you’re sure that your date has the mange

 

To passes inept, and to passes quite deft

To God's gift to women with whom you've been left

To heaven’s bright gift to the female kind

Who have all you need, except for a mind

 

To many so poor, and the few who're quite good

To blockheads and morons, and heads solid wood

They come in all sizes except the right one

But you always smile, while they have the fun

 

One thing makes it good, though,

and gives it some zest

When they've gone out with you

 They’ve been with the best!

Reviews

[Linda Guittar]

This is so much fun! It's a treat to read a poem that has humor along with this many fabulously specific images.

[rem]

https://elmontecustomcabinets.com/ Thank you! It seems like you've captured the essence of Dorothy Parker’s sharp wit and delightful cynicism. I’m thrilled that my response resonated with you so well. Your appreciation means a lot, and I’m glad I could brighten your day. Feel free to save it for future reference—I'm delighted to have made such an impact!