Life

A friend remarked that no matter how hard she tries, she can’t win. That got me thinking about life, mortality, and the old saying, “Life sucks…and then you die. This is the result:

Life is just a Red Queen’s race

You run and run to stay in place.

 

The road is long, the surface rough.

Your very best?  It’s just enough.

 

Each day a struggle, each a war.

With not a clue of what’s in store

 

But that’s okay, and I don’t mind

‘Cause Death, he marks the finish line.

Author's Note

Just for fun.

Reviews

[Tatenda Chivhondo]

The poem is amazing and relatable,we face a lot of challenges, we overcome and so forth but we never give up until we are at the end of the road

[Abhilash Hegde]

so true, running the race and staying the course till the finish line. we don't even know if it will all worth it but may be yes, why not? worth the chance. keep running, to stay in place. wonderful write, very thought provoking. Thanks JayG for this wonderful write, glad to read it!

[altIIneo]

Loving the rhythm and the narrative. Although on the flip side, the narrative that we have been fed and which they continue II (to) fuel about life being the enemy when i don't think that it is. Yes each of us has a cross that we have II (to) bear at some point, but at the heart life is benevolent.

[Baz]

This is exactly kind of poetry. Succinct, well metered and rhymed, and a good pay off at the end. More please.

[GlendaK]

After reading some of the other opinions, it makes me hesitate to review. I thought we are trying to assist fellow writers to improve or at least have a say in how we believe the writing can be better approached. Now I know why I had taken a break from this site.
My opinion of Life by JayG? I like it better without the subtitle about the friend. it comes on strong and seems to deter the reader from taking an interest in Life. However, the ending revs up the hope there might be something better. I like the sarcastic finish.

[JayG]

Here's a funny one: The member, apennylate, who commented, below, once wrote decent poetry. in 2017, she used to get pages of comment for her work. But then, she was gone for seven years.

Obviously, something traumatic happened, because she returned with a slew of angry and disjointed poems that resembled the work of Bunthorn, the pretentious poet from Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta, Patience.

And because I, unaware of her trauma, dared point out the problems, she's declared war, and is pasting repetitive "reviews" of my work, never even reading it. Here, she ignores the work and simple hijacks the thread for her own screed.

She's deleted ALL of her latest offerings, so she recognizes the truth of the suggestions I made. But obviously, her condition is such that she feels she must "punish me" by lashing out like a child.

She seems a few pence short of a pound these days. I should block her, but running around gnashing her teeth and posting gives her something to do, I suppose.

[apennylate]

Also... Here, JayG...
Since you are so keen on enforcing "professional" critiques on writers who literally did not ask for them...
https://www.reddit.com/r/poetry_critics/?rdt=58594
That is a link to a reddit page with MANY avid critics, like yourself!
Plus, your behavior is not only encouraged, it is mandated to even post/join!
So why stir up all this trouble, if you TRULY aim only to help less fortunate writers than yourself...
Pages that writers actually ASK for your critiques exist! GO TO THEM!
It might just be one of the MOST PRODUCTIVE ways you could go about doing... Whatever it is you believe in your heart of hearts you are accomplishing by trolling new writers on a dead poetry site.
God bless, and cheers!