What's in a Name

A bit of flash fiction. A story for kids, for fun, and meant to be told aloud.

 

Hello. I’m afraid I can’t tell you my name--at least not yet, because if I did, without explaining, I could be placing us in grave danger. And that--the reason it would place us in danger--is why I’m here.

Words, as I’m sure you already know, are interesting. And one of the things that makes them so is the way we speak. Take a simple example. If we’re from the United States and want to talk about a mechanical device we call it a machine, with the stress on the ending: ma-SHINE. But if we’re from England, it’s a MA-shine. And as people always have, we play with pronunciation and word meaning for fun. It’s how language evolves. Imagine a language where MA-shine was the way to say, “I am a little boy.” But in that same language, pronouncing it ma-SHINE would mean, “I am an orange soda.”

The reason I mention this is that when I was born, my mother made an unfortunate mistake. She could have called me any conventional name, or even used the name of a thing, like River Rose, or perhaps even Sky. Frank Zappa, for example, a famous musician, named his daughter, Moon Unit. I sometimes wonder what it was like, growing up with such a name.

My mom could have done something like that. But she, inspired by Mr. Zappa’s naming his other son Dweezil, decided to make up a word and use it for me, which is why she called me-- Wait. Forgive me, I nearly said it aloud. That wouldn’t be a problem…for me. But were you to repeat my name, and mispronounce it in just the right way, we would all--every one of us--suffer the same fate my parents did on the day I was born.

And that brings me to the reason I’m here: Words can be wonderful, but also dangerous things. They can bring joy, and love, but they can also bring fear and pain, too, if misused.

You see, though we don’t believe in it, magic is quite real. And spells can be cast by speaking certain sounds in a specific way. I know many of you don’t believe me. But I am, or at least my name is, proof that it’s true.

The thing is, and fortunately for us, demons and other magical creatures use a language where most of the meaning of their words is carried in how they’re spoken--as in that little boy and orange soda thing I mentioned. So the name my mother bestowed on me had no bad effect when she told dad what she’d written on the birth certificate.

Unfortunately, my father spent his early years in Paris, so when he repeated the name back to her, with a slight French accent, and a question in his voice, that word not only was in the demon language, it was the trigger that invoked a terrible spell. Speaking it summoned a hoard of demons tasked with tickling everyone in the room until their ears fell off.

You may chuckle at that, but for my mother and father it was no laughing matter--at least not in a nice way. And considering that my father looks really odd without ears, it wasn’t a happy way to welcome me to life. My mother, at least, can grow her hair long, and style it so her missing ears can’t be seen. But not dad, or the doctor who’d stepped into the room to check on Mom just before those demons were summoned. I was lucky, in that newborn children aren’t ticklish--which is why I still have my ears.

So that’s my point…the warning I’m here to give. Words have power in many ways. They can bring peace, love, or anger. But used without thought? Well, for Dad and Mom it was a shock, but luckily, the demons didn’t take their hearing, so other than missing the outer part of their ears they’re okay. But think about words and their danger the next time you see someone missing a limb. It just might be they, like my parents, are victims of demonic attack. Speak carelessly, and without thought…try to make up words, and…well, you may not like the result.

So…now that you know to be careful, my name is Sneedly McGurk. And you can call me Sneed. But never, never, never pronounce it as…

Well…since I like you, and since I’m certain you’re sort of attached to your ears, I’ll not say it that way.

 

End

Author's Note

This came to me when I was thinking about poetic meter, and stressed syllables. I wrote it for my granddaughter, but thought your kids might appreciate a bit of silliness, too. Of course, while the story is fiction, the idea just might be true.

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Oh so loved this.. first time reading your work Jay.. Actually, I never have time to read but thought earlier today to read yours.. Chose this one first because of the name..
I really enjoyed it..Funny and clever are the words that come to mind..
Ears... Hmmm..reminds me of a wonderful movie I saw many years ago,
about a man who decided to wear glasses and when he did his life drastically changed. I know Laura Dern was in it...just can not recall the actors name.. it is on the tip of my tongue..And, I believe this movie was banned for quite some time..

I will be reading more of yours..
Lisa

[Susan 🦋]

Fiction? hmmmm I wonder;) So my youngest child really struggled with a speech impediment... she could not pronounce "Gramma"...it came out as D****t!.. yes, you get the picture..little 2 year old in the store calling for Gramma...but all that comes out is " D****t d****t where are you"! lol...ohhh Gramma did not like that!...but here's the thing. Gramma is from Poland. Everything is either mispronounced or a completely new word!...my brother still says dine-ink-room...for dining room..ughhh Oh and dad is not much better ( born in Ireland)..yeah... language has always been an issue. Great write! I enjoyed reading. :-)

[Helen]

This is so funny! D****t, where are you?!

[Joey Lexington]

Well done! I'm still trying to figure out how it isn't supposed to be pronounced, which I think is the point! My only critical points which I can be guilty of as well: try using the word thing a little less, and demons can really frighten children if that's the intended audience.

[Arundass TP]

this i feel is a great writing on Psycho-linguistic stuff. This writing inspired me to do some job on how we are labelled with words and how supposed to be labelled with strange words to denote a person, thing etc etc... great work. really inspiring to all . keep it up.

[Alexander's Books]

Grand story it's nice to see you writing something so creative, I am glad to see it's very well done and well thought out and I really do enjoy the narrative structure. I should note that your use of "never, never, never pronounce it as…

Well…since I like you, and since I’m certain you’re sort of attached to your ears, I’ll not say it that way." is wrong the use of ellipses you know commas and all unless I'm incorrect which I'm bound to be other than that it's a excellent read with a well written narrator. good job

[Rose]

I loved this! I found a new favourite author!

[Lacey Sue]

excellent work you seem to make time for writing and that's amazing because not many people do that.

[AJNJ]

A sight or a vision. A rat or a mouse. Words are potent indeed and can make a big difference. To be used with care. Your writing draws in and keeps the reader engaged till the end. I enjoyed this story very much.

[M.E.Lyle]

Apparently you are a right minded person, or not. I had a blast reading this. Words are fascinating things to ponder.
You mention in your story about how one should not go about making up words. I think making up words, especially funny ones, makes life so much more interesting. They only have real meaning to the one who makes them up.
I love your writing style and sense of humor. If only I were so talented.
Have a great day.
What does that mean, anyway?

[JayG]

Thank you.