What's in a Name

A bit of flash fiction. A story for kids, for fun, and meant to be told aloud.

 

Hello. I’m afraid I can’t tell you my name--at least not yet, because if I did, without explaining, I could be placing us in grave danger. And that--the reason it would place us in danger--is why I’m here.

Words, as I’m sure you already know, are interesting. And one of the things that makes them so is the way we speak. Take a simple example. If we’re from the United States and want to talk about a mechanical device we call it a machine, with the stress on the ending: ma-SHINE. But if we’re from England, it’s a MA-shine. And as people always have, we play with pronunciation and word meaning for fun. It’s how language evolves. Imagine a language where MA-shine was the way to say, “I am a little boy.” But in that same language, pronouncing it ma-SHINE would mean, “I am an orange soda.”

The reason I mention this is that when I was born, my mother made an unfortunate mistake. She could have called me any conventional name, or even used the name of a thing, like River Rose, or perhaps even Sky. Frank Zappa, for example, a famous musician, named his daughter, Moon Unit. I sometimes wonder what it was like, growing up with such a name.

My mom could have done something like that. But she, inspired by Mr. Zappa’s naming his other son Dweezil, decided to make up a word and use it for me, which is why she called me-- Wait. Forgive me, I nearly said it aloud. That wouldn’t be a problem…for me. But were you to repeat my name, and mispronounce it in just the right way, we would all--every one of us--suffer the same fate my parents did on the day I was born.

And that brings me to the reason I’m here: Words can be wonderful, but also dangerous things. They can bring joy, and love, but they can also bring fear and pain, too, if misused.

You see, though we don’t believe in it, magic is quite real. And spells can be cast by speaking certain sounds in a specific way. I know many of you don’t believe me. But I am, or at least my name is, proof that it’s true.

The thing is, and fortunately for us, demons and other magical creatures use a language where most of the meaning of their words is carried in how they’re spoken--as in that little boy and orange soda thing I mentioned. So the name my mother bestowed on me had no bad effect when she told dad what she’d written on the birth certificate.

Unfortunately, my father spent his early years in Paris, so when he repeated the name back to her, with a slight French accent, and a question in his voice, that word not only was in the demon language, it was the trigger that invoked a terrible spell. Speaking it summoned a hoard of demons tasked with tickling everyone in the room until their ears fell off.

You may chuckle at that, but for my mother and father it was no laughing matter--at least not in a nice way. And considering that my father looks really odd without ears, it wasn’t a happy way to welcome me to life. My mother, at least, can grow her hair long, and style it so her missing ears can’t be seen. But not dad, or the doctor who’d stepped into the room to check on Mom just before those demons were summoned. I was lucky, in that newborn children aren’t ticklish--which is why I still have my ears.

So that’s my point…the warning I’m here to give. Words have power in many ways. They can bring peace, love, or anger. But used without thought? Well, for Dad and Mom it was a shock, but luckily, the demons didn’t take their hearing, so other than missing the outer part of their ears they’re okay. But think about words and their danger the next time you see someone missing a limb. It just might be they, like my parents, are victims of demonic attack. Speak carelessly, and without thought…try to make up words, and…well, you may not like the result.

So…now that you know to be careful, my name is Sneedly McGurk. And you can call me Sneed. But never, never, never pronounce it as…

Well…since I like you, and since I’m certain you’re sort of attached to your ears, I’ll not say it that way.

 

End

Author's Note

This came to me when I was thinking about poetic meter, and stressed syllables. I wrote it for my granddaughter, but thought your kids might appreciate a bit of silliness, too. Of course, while the story is fiction, the idea just might be true.

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Oh so loved this.. first time reading your work Jay.. Actually, I never have time to read but thought earlier today to read yours.. Chose this one first because of the name..
I really enjoyed it..Funny and clever are the words that come to mind..
Ears... Hmmm..reminds me of a wonderful movie I saw many years ago,
about a man who decided to wear glasses and when he did his life drastically changed. I know Laura Dern was in it...just can not recall the actors name.. it is on the tip of my tongue..And, I believe this movie was banned for quite some time..

I will be reading more of yours..
Lisa

[DecentlyOkayWriter]

Loved the short read. Hold onto your ears whenever you talk about it though. ;P

[Unforgivable]

This was amazing! So simple, yet tells a fun story in a clean, interesting fashion.

[Seair Exim Solutions]

This came to me when I was thinking about poetic meter, and stressed syllables. I wrote it for my granddaughter, but thought your kids might appreciate a bit of silliness, too. Of course, while the story is fiction, the idea just might be true.

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Oh my everything led to the moral imagery of the missing ears,
and going to the doctor and the doctor witnessing a truth,
such as a name that is hidden to others,
strong courageous work,

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Jay Greenstein,

You are obviously a fine spinner of tales and stories abounding in limitless imagination which doth well instill the fear of losing one's ears ...

Enjoyed the hell out of this little tale ... And you can take that to the bank!

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

P.S.: When are the owners of this site going to make proper adjustments for the site robot to recognize the long dash, rather than twin breach birthed hyphens? ... Having been a long time fan of Sci-Fi author John Brunner, I long ago assimilated the long dash into my, so called, writing style, and most all I post here will require a bit of irritating hyphenation modification ... Nonetheless, I shall do so ...

[JayG]

The site owner is long gone, and it's unmoderated, which explains all the crap spam. GoDaddy keeps it going for the revenue the ads supply, I suspect.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham]

Writerscafe could be the best site for writers available today, with just a bit of help ... In fact, I am not opposed to paying a reasonable sum to assist in such positive changes and assuredness of this site's future ...

[JE Falcon]

Might want to edit this: "It just might be they they,"
This was a clever way to hold the reader's attention while making a point about pronunciation, among other things. Still, I had to restrain myself from jumping ahead, just for a name's sake.
I am confused to see --- where commas might be used for the same reasons. I do the same, sometimes, when a comma isn't supposed to be allowed, but I want the reader to pause. Yet, I never --- in place of a comma. What is your reasoning? --- A very entertaining story with a sprinkling of humor. Well done.

[JayG]

Thank you. No matter how many times you edit...

What you showed as three dashes is, in reality, an ellipsis. It indicates a pause of longer than a comma might indicate (usually in dialog), and, a trailing off at the end of a sentence. Because this was meant to be read aloud, it was a bit of stage direction

[JE Falcon]

Hmm, OK, well that settles that. Thanks.

[Seair Exim Solutions]

This came to me when I was thinking about poetic meter, and stressed syllables. I wrote it for my granddaughter, but thought your kids might appreciate a bit of silliness, too. Of course, while the story is fiction, the idea just might be true.

[Suzanne Sonderleigh]

Well done, Snee….whoops…don’t want to lose my ears. They are portals I can close off when I don’t want to hear something, but more importantly, they help keep the crap inside my head. It feels like you are leading your readers down a weedy word path to the end so we can find out your true name.

It’s good to see another writer of wild stories here. If you get a chance, please read, “Little Red Riding Hood Talks Smack And Throws Shade.” It blurs the lines between reality and fantasy.

Wonderful writing!

[Melita Catalina Warren]

It's obvious you love words and use them well. Glad I got to read just a few of your posts.
Also, you seem to have quite a few fans! Best of luck with future pursuits.

Sincerely,
Melita C. Warren

[Helen]

This is the nicest, most entertaining and most engaging story I have read. And it hints at the mysteries beyond what we 'know', which I like too. You had me gripped from the start trying to work out about the pronunciation of machine (being from the UK). I couldn't work out what you were saying in my head and had to speak it out loud with a (sort of) American accent before the penny dropped.

I love language and the connections you can make by thinking outside the box with language - inventing new words or borrowing words from a different language or culture. My partner is Irish and I have been introduced to some lovely phrases that are English, but not the English I grew up with. I'm trying to think of some, but so far all I can remember is "tipping along" and "do be going".

Imagine a language where MA-shine was the way to say, “I am a little boy.” But in that same language, pronouncing it ma-SHINE would mean, “I am an orange soda.” .. of course there are languages like this (Vietnamese for one, but I am sure there are others) which would make for wonderful word play.

This was a delightful and enthralling read with lots of food for thought along the way. I didn't find it silly, although it did make me smile. Not just for kids!