Waiting

A romantic lament

Waiting

Among the crowd, it’s you I see
You own my heart, you hold the key
My vision dark except for you
I see no room, no other view
You steal my sense,

my eyes both blind
Except for you
You fill my mind

You move with grace, the tiger's stalk
(my throat so dry I scarce can talk)
The piercing eye, the thrust of breast
(my heart is tearing in my chest)
In pain I gaze at hip and thigh
Who holds your love
Not I
Not I

Not for me those hidden graces
Not for me those secret places
Not for me love's lip on lip
And not for me caress of hip
No love for me, not even rind
Except for you
You fill

my mind

How came I thus to my sad fate?
To lose the one I need for mate
So many others more than I
Will please your sight, will catch your eye
I grope for words to bid you stay
To reach your heart, to find the way
But words still fail to pierce the veil
With silent tears, again I fail

You stand while I, with hope forlorn
Must curse the day that I was born
I need your mind, your scent, your touch
(the day we met I knew that much)
I know my fate is linked to you
(but how to make you see that, too?)

I watch you standing clothed in night
With eyes of mist and teeth so white
You touch my hand with skin of silk
The curve of breast, oh love's sweet milk
Tear from my lips the words to bind
(before, Dear God, I lose my mind)

You turn to me, all grace and fire
My flame of love, my blazing bier
You touch my cheek.... Will waiting end?
You smile and say, "Good night my friend."

I stand and weep, my hopes unwind
Except for you
You fill
My mind

 

Reviews

[Gideon X. A. Elson]

Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh... the rhymes the theme the contents therein resonate with me beautifully my friend. As I said before if continue this does when pursuing your work then,, scarce find words to describe the emotions brought forth! BRAVO again bravo again!
P.s had to come back and add that, that second to last stanza is perfection! You take the reader to the edge of ecstacy and then as is only fate could deem, let them down as gracefully as the maiden of whom you write does our protagonist!

[mattavelli]

Hello, Jay! :)
This is a lovely rhyme and a well told story. I enjoyed the repetition, and it didn't slow the story much. You seem to be stuck in the friendzone, but that touch on the cheek reads to me like she's waiting too. I really enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing.

[The Ink Chapters]

heartbreak is something nearly all of us can relate to, being rejected by the one we love is truly gut wrenching

[Mauricio Montoya]

i had to come and read it again lol love how it comes together, great play on words.

[Mauricio Montoya]

the title and the first line threw me off, so waiting is not the start in this write, so i went back and read. interesting, it about prey and the waiting game and so demanding with sweet words that make it same right but nevertheless it seem a bit cold but a good write.

[Sir Aphid]

i don't like the feeling of this poem, although it is well written.

[L.J Bunn]

Beautifully written with outstanding adjectives, rhythm and rhyme,
vivid images portrayed in my mind,
reading words from an articulate writer,
filled with emotion, spark and some laughter,
as your words resound within us,
and reflect the moral that we have all kept,
with ourselves the same feelings we too have felt.

What a pleasurable poem to read.

[Susan 🦋]

" Friend" a blessing and a curse to hear... when two hearts can't agree.

[Temporal light]

It reminds me a little about great expectations.
You must have had someone who cared about you.
Did she break your heart.
I don't get every line.
This poem should be mine.

[Nightingale]

It's beautiful. Love the visual presentation and the rhyme.

[Jess]

This is so incredibly well written with near perfect word choice. This makes you feel exactly what is being written about. Fantastic piece.