Choices

I turned eighty this year, something of a surprise. But I bring good news for those heading in that direction: It's every bit as much fun falling in love at eighty as it was at seventeen.

                        Choices

Morning is when I love you most, I think…
When my eyes first open and thoughts of you bring warmth.
I pull you close…to savor the bed-warm caress of skin-on-skin.
What could improve on that?

But at noon there’s laughter in your eyes that pleases, as we share repast.
Stolen kisses, and hands in glancing touch punctuate conversation.
The taste of mustard and kisses intermingle.
Could I improve on that? 

Afternoon walks with a hand on my arm, your voice caressing.
Incidental affection, shared, brightens the day.
Unexpected adventures, and familiar sights.
Could anything improve on that?

Evening and conversation, storytelling, and kisses.
Precious time, sharing comfort and cuddling.
A day closes. Memory records. Bedtime beckons.
Who could improve on that?

Who would want to?

Reviews

[Eve]

When I read this poem, I felt like I was looking through a couple's life together in flashes. The last sentence, "Who would want to?" ties it together, like the man is looking at his wife for the last time after spending his whole life together and smiling. It paints a beautiful scene. Well done.

[Carrie.]

I always review back when someone leaves a review, just good manners. I dug through a few of your poems to find something that I felt spoke to me.

Going into this poem, I was a bit taken aback by the departure from the couplets I had previously read, but I really like the style you used here. I find the repeating ending to kind of scratch that part of my brain that looks for symmetry. I think this is a lovely way to approach a day, or a life--depending on your metaphorical bend.

I think the best part is "Incidental affection". I paused after that line and reread it twice. I had to begin the poem over again to get back in the flow, but it was such a gorgeous thought--totally worth it.

Not a fan of mustard kisses myself but to each their own,
Carrie

[bianca]

"A day closes. Memory records. Bedtime beckons."
I feel like this is an end of a chapter. A sad one because you said, "Who could improve on that?", like that person, maybe you, knew something was ending suddenly and at the end of the day it'll just remain a memory about the person you love. Every time I reread your poem, I remember that we aren't immortals and our lives won't be as we want.
Thank you for sharing this poem with, and for the advice that you told me months ago! They really helped me. *Bianca

[JayG]

Thank you. It's always nice to know that I was able to help someone, in the way others helped me.

[bianca]

You are still able. Your review changed my mind completely and made me see that my writing needed some changes. With your help, my book has now 11,2 k views. Nice to talk with you again!

[Caleb is typing...]

"Who could improve on that"
This is so beautifully written. I loved every second I spent reading it, it felt so real and "distant" at the same time. Truly a masterpiece!

[NiomaNorma]

I like this one, it's a simple telling of one's blessings. You did pretty good on this one.

[Laz K.]

I am glad to know that regardless of age there's always a possibility of love, because if one has it, really, who or what could improve on that?

[Akshay Rawal]

This is a whole day spent with someone you love, spent in a blissful manner. Who would want to improve on that? And Can you even improve on an already perfect day with your better half? The poem flew like a fresh breeze, threw me through the moments, the imagery and rekindled in me emotions of love and care. Another great write from an able mind. Thanks for sharing

[Lacey Sue]

Extraordinary piece of art you know everyone can connect and when I read this I picture my ex and me and how our future was supposed to be, but it's can't anymore and I'm moving on from him because he's part of my past and I'm still best friends with him so I'm appreciative for that it's almost 13 years we have known each other so I think you should write more like this.

[Serene Star]

Truly lovely
And very warm
I am keeping this in my library

[D_go]

I love how your happiness shows without you even using that word.
" what could improve on tap"
Again I love how you're saying everything is perfect without even using that word.

[Buddhistboy73]

Yeah, times with partners in this oh so short lifetime are real treats and things to be savoured and cherished ....
Made me smile thinking of past times with various ladies...

Thanks for sharing and you're right:

Who could improve on that? And who would want to?